After all the time she spent in Montana isolated with Sonja Morgan and Ramona Singer (aka Commando and Pinot), Carole Radziwill needs a break. Big time. You can feel her frustration seeping out of her Bravo blog. You could feel my frustrations as I screamed at the TV for them to shut it. And put the wine down. Advice Carole echoes.
Carole admits that she grew tired of the drinking, complaining, going commando, and mostly that neither Sonja nor Ramona had a nice thing to say to Kristen Taekman. But most frustrating to Carole was that Sonja didn't seem to care that she hurt LuAnn de Lesseps' feelings. Let's break down what she has to say!
First of all - the obvious. "Sonja is drinking. Again," writes Carole. "Sonja brings up a sore subject. Again." Carole explains just why LuAnn was hurt by Sonja entertaining the facialist's gossip.
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"Sonja invited her facialist home to facialize her and Kristen's skin. The facialist repeated mean gossip about LuAnn. (About my ex, too!) And then Sonja continued to flame the gossip. Sonja is not my good friend, so I don't care. But LuAnn does, and she should, they've been friends for a decade. Sonja listens to her facialist go on and on about Lu's alleged sexual positions with short French men without saying, 'Hey, I don't like people repeating gossip about my friend.' Maybe the facialist would think twice about repeating it to her next client? Sonja is not a girls-girl."
"I find myself having to explain very simple constructs, but I love doing it in my vintage purple silk walking gown. That's how I roll out west. Sonja is jealous of LuAnn, she even agrees. Lu has alimony and her Hamptons house. She can shop and has no legal issues. Sonja has cold water, clingy creditors, and a house in France she can't unload. Still. . .that is not the trust of a friend having your back."
And then Carole points out the difference between the former Mrs. Morgan and the former Countess de Lesseps! "Yes. People do talk about Sonja! I haven't heard the one about the lopsided boobs, but you should hear all the gossip flying around the Beauty Industry about her divorce. It's like a Danielle Steel novel, with faraway places and betrayals and even a French man, allegedly. LuAnn has heard it. We've all heard it. But because S-Sexy J-ya is a friend of ours (sort of) we don't repeat it or let others repeat it because that's not nice. Why is this concept so confusing to Sonja? You guys get it. Right?"
Moving on, Carole is also tired of the constant haranguing about Kristen's bad hostessing. This from a woman who doesn't have working plumbing. And from another person who needs a permanent Turtle Time OUT.
"Fly fishing is slow, even for me," Carole admits. "But Kristen organized it for us and I'm a good guest. The best thing you can be on the show is a good guest. Why is this never discussed?"
"The worst thing you can be is a 'bad hostess.' This has been a hot topic since LuAnn took the gang to Morocco and Alex [McCord] called her a thug in a cocktail dress (a classic). Last season, I was a bad hostess. It's second only to not being a 'girls-girl.' Now Kristen is taking the heat, and I feel for her. God forbid there aren't proper ice buckets. We barely survived."
"Meanwhile, the point of Montana is to breathe (assuming you don't have asthma) the mountain air, soak up the natural attractions and relax. You're supposed to do outdoorsy type things that require fishing rods, or guns, or mountains, or horse sh–. Montana wasn't put here for people to dine out at fancy restaurants, ogle bartenders, and drink. That's what New York is for. Montana isn't there for us to dance on tables dressed as pirates and drink. That's what St. Barth's is for. We can't always do the same things again and again. And again. . .or can we?"
Finally Carole does not believe that Aviva Drescher's allergies are anything but a ruse for attention. "25 million Americans suffer from asthma (I Googled, so I know) and we're pretty sure Aviva isn’t one of them. No one believes she has asthma, not even Ramona. Let's face it. She has a poor track record with this group. Last year she was addled with phobias so severe, she couldn't leave her apartment without her husband wound round her arm. This year her phobias disappeared. (Heather brought this up and Aviva told her to shut-up about phobias. She said that was last season. You can't make this stuff up it's so dumb.)"
"So while Aviva dazzles you with Legionnaire's and asthma, I'm going to match her two respiratory conditions and raise her an emotional disorder. So back up bitches because here comes Munchausen! It's my all-time favorite syndrome."
"She has it, I'm positive. She gets attention from her medical ailments — endless TV time to discuss her problems with cheery friends in ancient salted soaking tubs, and even to catatonic husbands in modern yellow-papered living rooms. Isn't listening to someone talk about her severe to moderate asthma riveting? And to think you watched that but not Kristen's full body wax — which, having witnessed myself, I assure you was much better television."
Also, Carole reminds us we can no longer leave comments on the Bravo blogs. I guess it's because no one has anything nice to say about the Housewives. We're not girls-girls apparently. But hey, you can leave alllll the comments you want right here!
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CAROLE'S REFLECTION ON MONTANA? IS SONJA A BAD FRIEND TO LUANN? DOES AVIVA HAVE MUNCHAUSEN?