Last night on Ladies of London the women took a trip to Mapperton. We had shooting, Sandwiches, questionable table manners, and several awkward moments. But, in the end they hugged it out.
We begin with an intense yoga session with Marissa Hermer and Julie. It looks painful and there’s talk about looseness, which I’m trying to forget. Julie isn’t just a yoga instructor, she also our seventh Lady. And she’s an actual Lady…of Hinchingbrooke. She tells us that her life is like a fairy tale. She came to the UK from the Midwest and met her knight, the soon-to-be Earl of Sandwich. Every little girl’s dream. She actually seems pretty down to earth for someone with a title.
Marissa and Julie discuss the upcoming trip to Julie’s in-law’s estate, Mapperton. Annabelle Neilson will of course be attending since she’s a longtime friend of the family. She’s always out there shooting. And Juliet Angus better watch out because she’s a good shot. Speaking of little Daisy Duke, Julie is worried about her attending. We get a flashback to the “keep being ruder” moment. So nasty and so ruder. Marissa and Julie agree that Juliet and Annabelle should be kept far apart. As if that will happen.
It’s the morning of the Mapperton trip. That was fast. Caroline Stanbury is bringing her cute makeup artist, Luke. She tells us that she’s nervous about the trip because of her conflict with Caprice Bourret. She’s not really feeling anything about their relationship. But she’s going to keep talking about it just the same.
Annabelle is packing for the trip. She’s very excited (in her laid back not excited way) to go to Mapperton. Is it just me or does Annabelle’s house look like a 95 yr old woman lives there? Dog embroidered pillows, porcelain frogs, and floral prints galore.
Meanwhile, Noelle Reno, Marissa, and Juliet are riding together. Noelle could possibly still be drunk after a wild night out. She’s still picking the glitter out of her hair. #keshaproblems
At the Sandwich estate, Julie is giving housekeeper, Beryl, a rundown of the weekend plans. Beryl is already over it. Julie tells us that she’s only invited Annabelle to stay at the estate because of her relationship with the family. And she doesn’t trust the other women to not to act like fools.
In the Noelle/Marissa/Juliet car, Marissa tells them that she and Scot still haven’t moved into their flat. Of course it’s Scot’s fault because he hasn’t gotten the flat ready. He wants it to be perfect. Marissa understands. Juliet does not. At all. She can hardly contain her snark. Her face was literally twitching.
Meanwhile, Caprice and Annabelle are riding up to Mapperton together. Caprice makes sure to tell Annabelle how she defended her to Juliet. She felt that she needed to get involved. Oh course she did. Annabelle prays that Juliet won’t pollute her fond memories of Mapperton. You get the feeling that Mapperton is like her Shangri-La. The talk turns to Caprice’s argument with Caroline about the baby shower. Annabelle advises her to let it go and just enjoy Mapperton. Mapperton heals all.
Back in the American car, Juliet jokes that she brought crotchless underwear and nipple tassels for Annabelle. I kind of wish she had. The girls arrive at Mapperton. The estate is gorgeous. Marissa says that it’s just like Downton Abbey. At the front gate, Julie and her father-in-law, The Lord of Sandwich, greet them. It’s all double kisses and smiles until Juliet asks to use the loo. Julie is horrified. The Earl is befuddled. And Juliet just really needs to pee. After that supposed gaffe, Julie guides them through the estate. Juliet is amazed that this will all someday be Julie’s and says she’ll probably turn it into a yoga studio. Downton Dog Abbey?
Caroline and Luke are the next to arrive. Luke isn’t invited to come in. Damn. Julie leaves Caroline with the others. Caroline instantly spills the tea about Caprice taking her down for not defending Annabelle to Juliet during knickergate. Juliet is shocked. Of course at that moment Caprice and Annabelle arrive. The tension in the air is as thick as a club sandwich. Annabelle tells Caroline about her chat with Caprice in the car. Caroline has had it with Caprice and her patronizing ways. Annabelle thinks fighting about a baby shower is stupid and they both need to grow up. I agree. Later, the Ladies meet up with Julie’s mother-in-law, Caroline, Lady Sandwich. Another actual Lady. She gives them a tour of the Mapperton Gardens. Juliet wants to pick a flower to put in her hair. Girl, really? Thankfully, Marissa drags her away.
It’s on to clay pigeon shooting with Mike the Gamesman. Caroline and Caprice opt out so they can sit together and not speak to one another. Annabelle is up first and nails it, of course. Annabelle get your gun indeed. Noelle takes a turn. She closes the wrong eye and misses. It’s all Scot’s fault. Juliet is next and misses despite her strong “I’m about to take a giant poo” stance. Marissa is last and surprisingly hits the pigeon. She picks up the broke piece and notices that it matches her nail polish. Pigeon pink? It was meant to be. In her interview, Juliet snarks that this is typical Marissa. Everything goes her way. Hmm what’s the story behind that?
All that shooting has made the Ladies hungry so it’s time for a picnic on the lawn. Noelle asks what’s for dinner. Girl is ready for her next meal. Julie tells them that they’ll be having venison. It’s the best meat for you. Who knew? Juliet promptly loses her mind. She will not eat Bambi! The other women are appalled by her “directness”. Caroline scolds her while Annabelle laughs at the crazy woman on the lawn. Juliet doesn’t care. She’s not eating it. And the happy cute picnic is officially over.
It’s dinner time and everybody is dressed up. Annabelle, Julie, and Caprice are all pretty subdued. But Marissa is ready for a toga party, Juliet looks like a scullery maid, and Noelle is dressed for a Cruella De Vil appreciation conference. And Caroline is one false move away from a vagina flash. Very St. Tropez. Aside from the Ladies and the Sandwiches, Steven “the world renowned cellist” is in attendance. You know, that one. Juliet asks him if he’ll be taking requests after dinner. Julie is appalled…again. But Steven is cool about it. I didn’t think it was that big a deal either. Loosen up Lady Julie. Meanwhile Caroline is wondering how many dogs were sacrificed for Noelle’s dress. Noelle notes that Caroline only gives a hard time to people she likes. So she must really love Caprice.
Dinner begins with a welcome toast from the Earl. And for some reason Juliet quizzes Lady Sandwich on her knowledge of John Hughes movies. She seems like a Sixteen Candles kind of gal. The food arrives and to Noelle’s horror it’s shellfish. She’s deathly allergic. So she politely throws it onto Steven the Cellist’s plate and goes hunting for soup in the kitchen. No soup for you, the cook tells her. What about vodka? It’s more filling. Nope. Noelle is sad and hungry. Back at the table, Caroline has accurately pointed out that Juliet’s dress looks like something out of My Fair Lady. The crotchless panties in Spain fall mainly of the plain? They decide they need a cigarette break and excuse themselves to “use the loo”. I feel “Loogate” coming on. Noelle ducks out with them. Caprice thinks Caroline is being rude. Lady Sandwich and her death glare totally agree.
Outside the three Ladies share a smoke on a swing. Caroline takes the time to critique Juliet’s arguing style. She needs to learn to make her point and move on. Juliet listens to the wise one. Noelle thinks that Juliet will end up being Caroline’s mini-me. Well if it helps her to dress better, I’m all for it.
Dinner continues on with Bambi arriving on a plate. Juliet is pissed that Julie didn’t serve her something else. Did she completely forget about that hissy fit at the picnic? Noelle offers to give Juliet some of her vegetarian plate in exchange for her meat. Caprice, who is sitting between them, volunteers to be their meat mule. This does not go over well with the rest of the table. But it leads to my favorite line of the night from Noelle, “Yeah, I’ll totally take more meat.” That’s going to be my new email signature. For some reason, Noelle and her trucker-like dinner table manners were endearing to me. She’s so much more fun when she’s not beating Scot down.
By the time summer pudding comes around, the Sandwiches have had enough of these crazy guests and head for bed. The mood around the table is light and everyone is having a good time. So Juliet decides this is the perfect time to awkwardly pull Annabelle away for a serious talk about their fight. This leads to a she said/she said discussion where nobody really admits to any wrong doing. Annabelle says they don’t really know each other and it’s not that big of a deal. Juliet doesn’t want confrontation, but she will engage in one. Annabelle thinks she got the worst of it and was verbally abused. Really? They are able to agree that their fight created unnecessary drama with the other women. Annabelle says it takes a long time to get to her know her. And then Juliet mutters something about them both being human beings with feelings. Whatever. They end by hugging it out like Ari Gold circa 2006. Everything is cool. For now. Luke arrives (yay!) to take Caroline, Noelle, Marissa, and Juliet back to their hotel. Caprice chooses to stay behind with Annabelle and Julie because she doesn’t want to participate in blowing smoke up Caroline’s tushie. She’d rather blow smoke up Annabelle’s, thank you.
Later Annabelle, Julie, and Caprice snuggle by the fire in Mapperton while Luke and his Ladies have champagne in bed at the hotel. Both sides discuss the Juliet/Annabelle talk. Annabelle says nothing was really resolved. While Juliet seems to think Annabelle owned up to be the smuggest smug that ever smugged. The conversation turns to the Caprice/Caroline feud. Caroline says it’s still awkward between them. At Mapperton, Caprice thinks Caroline has embraced the Americans and it’s turned into an us vs. them situation. I’m already trying to come up with team names. Back in bed, Juliet wonders if Caprice is jealous that Caroline has bonded with the American contingent. They’re not her minions, if you know what she means. Caroline counters that she got them as her minions first. It’s funny because it’s true. Noelle thinks this is a battle of the wills between two very strong women. Yeah, I wouldn’t say it’s that deep, Noelle. In Mapperton, Caprice decides to leave early the next morning with Annabelle and Julie. She’s not even going to tell the others. That will go over well for sure.
Next week, Showergate continues.
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Recap Author: Geoff
Photo Credit: Bravo TV/NBC