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Beyond Fashion Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art

Kanye West is the male version of Farrah Abraham. Anytime either Kanye or Farrah give an interview, I get a headache trying to make sense of it! I sit and stare at the words, hoping they will unscramble themselves, but they never do.

Kanye talked to GQ shortly after his wedding. The result is what I have come to expect from Kanye, scrambled nonsense yet strangely entertaining.

Kanye compared his new wife, Kim Kardashian, to a dinosaur. Because she’s “cool” and “rarely seen” just like a dinosaur. Um, rarely?! First, when was the last time Kanye saw a dinosaur? Second, Kim can be seen 24/7 via Instagram.

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Kanye on Marriage:  “Saying ‘Hey, I like Kim‘ isn’t as inspiring to people as us getting married. And anyone that’s in a relationship knows that in order to get to the point to get married and then to be married and to then carry on, it needs that work put into it. Right now, people look at it and it’s like, ‘Wow, that’s inspiring.’ Meaning that love is infectious.”

Has Kanye ever heard of Kris Humphries? His inspiring wife put wayyyy more effort into divorcing than she did creating a bond and getting married. #72Days #Fraud #AllForShow #KeepingUpWithTheKardashians

Kanye’s Dinosaur: “Like they said in Step Brothers: Never lose your dinosaur. This is the ultimate example of a person never losing his dinosaur. Meaning that even as I grew in cultural awareness and respect and was put higher in the class system in some way for being this musician, I never lost my dinosaur.”

Does North West Have A Body Double?

Kim is this girl who f—ing turns me on,” continued Kanye. Ewwww. “I love her. This is who I want to be next to and be around. And then people would try to say, ‘Well, you know, if you’re a musician, you should be with a musician, and if you want to design, you need to be with a girl from the design world.’ I do not give a f–k about people’s opinions.”

Kanye on Kimasaurus Rex: “You mean to tell me that this girl with this f—ing body and this face is also into style, and she’s a nice person, and she has her own money and is family oriented? That is just as cool as a f—ing fighter jet or dinosaur! And just as rarely seen.”

In case you missed the headlines, one of Kanye and Kim‘s wedding photos is the most liked photo on Instagram. “It’s because of Kim,” said Kanye. “Meaning, there’s no photo that I would have put up by myself, or next to one of my smarty friends, that would have got that amount of likes.”

Kanye went on to explain the wedding’s golden toilets and white bar drama – note, he didn’t deny! – and justify his ridiculously long wedding speech.

“What I talked about in it was the idea of celebrity, and celebrities being treated like blacks were in the ’60s, having no rights, and the fact that people can slander your name. I had to say this in a position where I, from the art world, am marrying Kim,” said Kanye. “And how we’re going to fight to raise the respect level for celebrities so that my daughter can live a more normal life. She didn’t choose to be a celebrity. But she is. So I’m going to fight to make sure she has a better life.”

Kanye refused to “speak on” Jay Z and Beyonce no-show wedding status. “It doesn’t even matter to me whatsoever, who would show up,” he said. “Because the most important person to show up there, to me, was Kim. And that’s all that matters to me.”

Photos of North West’s First Birthday!

Kanye on Kim K Skills: “One of the reasons why I think that me and Kim are very powerful together isn’t just the concept of celebrity or this mega rap star and this mega-beautiful pop star. It’s something I explain to my girl: She is who she is. I am who I am. We have advisers and friends and everything, but those people are who they are and we are who we are. And what I had to learn from Kim is how to take more of her advice and less of other’s people’s advice. There is a lot of Kim K skills that were added. In order to win at life, you need some Kim K skills, period.”

When dealing with paparazzi, Kanye usually blows up and punches someone. Therefore, Kanye is a blowfish. Who is in love with a dinosaur. OMG. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

“I’m a porcupine. I’m a blowfish,” said Kanye. “Like, I’m a — what’s that fish that blows up? Yeah, I’m a blowfish. “I’m not a shark. I’m a blowfish. I’m defending my name as someone’s screaming something negative at me. That’s a blowfish. People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way and I that. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. I want to defend people. I want to help people.”

Kanye wants to help people?! For starters, he could send Kim Kardashian to outer space like he promised! I hear it is lovely this time of the year and there’s no internet connection. Score for us!

TELL US – WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A DINOSAUR? DID IT REMIND YOU OF KIM KARDASHIAN?

Photo Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com

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