Dance Moms Recap: The Tallies Don’t Lie

dance moms abby

It’s two weeks until Nationals, so y’all know that means that Abby Lee Miller is on the precipice of turning into Ursula from The Little Mermaid. It’s not going to be pretty folks, and I have a feeling only Maddie will be left with her legs! After returning from a stellar competition, last night’s Dance Moms begins as it always does…the pyramid, complete with the moms muttering under their breath, defeated faces on little girls, and, of course, the fear of facing Candy Apple Cathy! Kendall is on the bottom for being last to the game on an upstand. Chloe follows for “being fine.  Just…fine.” MacKenzie rounds out the bottom for not beating her mini counterparts. Nia is second for leading her team to victory in the group dance. Of course, Maddie is on the top for her highest scoring routine.

Abby reveals that Gino will be dancing a solo at the upcoming competition, and she wants Maddie to dance a solo. However, Maddie may have to head to Miami to film a web series on the day of the competition. Abby enlists Chloe and Kendall to be her understudies. If Maddie is unavailable, one of them will take her place. Likewise, Maddie is the lead in the group number. If she’s absent, there will be no lead. Why not just plan as if she’s not going to be there? Or hey, I don’t know, make her pick which one she’d rather do. Perhaps she sacrifices a potential web series to because she is already committed to the ALDC? Not that I expect Maddie to make these decisions, but Abby and Melissa could make this easier on the poor child. Christi and Jill seem to agree. The moms (and dancers, for that matter) can’t believe how much Abby puts her dancers down while praising Maddie. At Holly’s suggestion, the moms start a tally of insults for the team versus compliments for Maddie. The results are not shocking, and it’s no wonder the girls look so defeated.

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In Candy Apple territory, Gino and Cathy are channeling their dislike for Abby into a stellar solo. Gino gracefully hops around the dance floor like he’s been hopping around studios this season! Back at the ALDS, Chloe and Kendall joke with Maddie about having to face Gino after the awkward kiss. Kendall and Chloe think it will be a good experience to be Maddie’s understudies, but Maddie makes sure to remind her friends that it’s her solo…they are just learning it in case she can’t be there. 

Up in the viewing room, the tally of insults that was being tracked on Christi’s phone has been transformed into a giant board thanks to Jill and Holly. Melissa finds it unfair that Maddie’s name isn’t on the board. Once again, they are singling out her daughter. Jill reminds her that Maddie won’t have an negative put-downs tallied next to her name. The only one who routinely singles out Maddie is Abby. Across state lines in Ohio, Cathy is working on a lyrical group number based on The Fault In Our Stars (Haven’t read it? Read it! Amazing.), although she doesn’t say that outright. Abby wants to prove that Gino is the reason the duet with Maddie scored second. Maddie would never place second on her own.

dance moms whiteboard

Is it just me, or has that dance instructor who’s name I can never recall morphing into a miniature Abby with her nasty attitude? She used to be so nice! Abby inquires about the tally board in the viewing room, and she suggests that it must be the number of times that one of the girls has run from the room crying like a baby. Nope, that can’t be it, they cackle. MacKenzie would be ahead of all the other girls if that were the case. Don’t listen to ’em, MackZ! As Abby thunders around the studio, Chloe mouths to her mom to please take it down. Abby rants that the time and money spent making the board would have been better spent trying to figure out why their daughters weren’t consistent winners who are invited to be on Ellen and star in web series. I want to smack the fake tan off her face. 

Abby looks up from her phone long enough to start criticizing MacKenzie over and over and over. Finally Melissa is into the game of placing tallies next to her daughter’s name. Holly believes that this will hold Abby accountable for her behavior. When Abby confronts the moms, she finds it so sad that these grown women are so jealous of Maddie. Abby then reminds her crew that she is in the business of making stars, and the mom’s should respect her teaching style. I just can’t.

dance moms christi

Maddie is able to dance in the competition, and Jill makes the mistake of asking if Kendall and Chloe can dance the solo as well. Abby pulls Jill aside to say that she doesn’t want to humiliate Kendall by making her dance the same choreography after Maddie. Christi interrupts to say that this isn’t a private conversation as all of the moms and dancers can hear Abby as she belittles Kendall. Jill should have kept her mouth closed. Gino dances his solo first, and he is phenomenal. It’s not my taste, but it’s pretty flipping cool. Maddie follows, and Abby is hoping that her solo will prove to Gino that he’s the reason they didn’t place first in their duet. Per the usual, Maddie’s dance is flawless as well. Sorry, Gino. 

The whiteboard makes a reappearance in the dressing room, and Abby wonders why the moms are so hellbent on distracting the dancers with their silliness. Holly reiterates that the tallies aren’t for corrections, but rather for times that Abby said something to purposely humiliate the girls. Abby reveals to Holly that she had a beautiful solo planned for Nia next week, but now she’s not so sure if she wants her flat feet dancing it. Holly doesn’t mind Abby’s hateful attempts at retaliation and she says as much before storming out of the dressing room. The other moms follow Holly as a show of support, and Holly refuses to discuss anything else in front of the cameras. Proving once again that she’s mature and classy, Abby, ever so insulted by Holly’s insinuation that her teaching methods are vile, ducks out of the dressing room before her girls compete. I’m actually shocked to see her back in the audience. 

dance moms maddie

The Candy Apples’ group number is beautiful, and we the girls get set compete, an announcement is made that the ALDC’s group routine has been pulled. I am floored. What a raging bitch. Her hench woman assistant quickly rallies the girls and tells them that their number being cancelled had nothing to do with them, but rather how meanly their mothers treated Abby in the dressing room. You have got to be kidding me. Seriously. I think that chicken was worried her number wouldn’t beat the Candy Apples. In the end, Abby got exactly what she wanted…a Maddie solo victory. Oddly enough, the Candy Apples group routine places fourth. Abby disgusts me. Team Holly all the way!

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? AM I CRAZY FOR HAVING A HARD TIME WATCHING HER BEHAVIOR?

[Photo Credit: Lifetime]

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