Lisa Vanderpump and Brandi Glanville

Brandi Glanville is giving me some major “Single White Female” vibes in that picture. I fear for Lisa Vanderpump‘s swans. <Swan Boiler Brandi> I see scary stalker, but Brandi called it “uncomfortable” and “nervous” in her latest Real Housewives of Beverly Hills blog. And when she’s nervous, she says stupid things. So Brandi’s disgusting mouth is not Brandi’s fault. It’s Lisa‘s for looking at her and making her feel nervous. <eye roll> 

About her housewarming party, Brandi said, “I’m so excited to be in our new home after stressfully floating around for the entire summer. I love this house. It’s got a warm happy feel to it. I decided to throw a proper party to celebrate our happy new home. My parents are coming and a few friends. I invited all the ladies, of course, because I didn’t want to leave anyone out. Everybody but Lisa V and Ken RSVP’d. She told me several times she wouldn’t be coming, so as far as I was concerned, she was not coming, but the show and the party must go on!” 

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“I have a ton of amazing friends coming to celebrate with me, and my parents are visiting despite my dad’s health problems, so I’m going to throw an amazing party and make the most of a beautiful evening in our new home. I spent the day setting up the house making sure it looked perfect. I ordered flowers, rented furniture, put up lights, and set up a lovely bar,” shared Brandi. “It was perfect. I got ready with my friends and was running 15 minutes late. I am almost never late, so I was trying to get my ass in gear.”

Brandi went on to gush over Yolanda Foster and Kim Richards, the only two people left on RHOBH that can stand to be around her, and brag about the obvious to everyone “special chemistry” she shares with Lisa. Yeah, I will take DELUSIONAL for $500, Alex. 

“People were starting to show up. Everyone looked great and seemed to be having fun. Yolanda looked especially amazing, and she is so great with my dad. She has special powers over him. I was catching up with my close friend Leeza Gibbons when Lisa V and Ken walked in,” Brandi recalled. “They said they were not coming more then once, so I’m surprised to see them, but it was a nice surprise. My parents chatted with Lisa V and Ken, and while they didn’t seem overly excited to be in my home, I can definitely say all my friends see that Lisa and I have a special chemistry but we also clearly have a long way to go if we are going to be friends again. Both Kim and Yolanda gave the sweetest speeches and I know they both truly love me. All in all, it was a fun party and, in my opinion, a success.”

Moving on, Brandi explained that her tactless and not very funny comment to Lisa at PUMP was just a joke. Oh, and totally Lisa’s fault, because Lisa looked at Brandi. She’s forever 12.

Lisa V invited us all to PUMP, which is gorgeous, for a charity event benefiting foster children. I was happy to go but felt a little uncomfortable every time Lisa V looked at me. She would just stare and not speak. It made me uncomfortable, and when I’m nervous, I just joke. Cut to the olive branch and the cunnilingus comment. I asked Lisa V to lunch to speak in a more private environment, and it was like pulling teeth to get an answer, so I was like, what shall I do, Your Highness, so that you grace me with your presence? Eat your p-ssy? It was a joke… but I am happy to hear that Ken stills goes down under for Her Majesty.”

Brandi reminded us that Lisa Rinna did the ice bucket challenge and Eileen Davidson worked out, blah, thanks ghostwriter, blah, adding, “I’m still getting to know the new gals but am enjoying my time hanging with Kim and Yolanda more than anyone else.” 

TELL US – WHICH WAS WORSE: OLIVE BRANCH JOKE OR P-SSY JOKE? WOULD YOU HAVE BEEN OFFENDED BY EITHER? IS LISA TO BLAME?

Photo Credit: Bravo

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