Brandi Glanville. Hmmm… what to say about Brandi Glanville. Sometimes I think there’s nothing left to say, but then Brandi says more stuff, and then naturally I have to counter that. SO – here goes another round.
On Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, Brandi has found herself in the crosshairs (see what I did there – “hairs”) between Kim “Rambles” Richards, Rambles’ addiction, and Kyle Richards. It’s not a pretty place to be, but Brandi apparently relishes it. Didn’t Eileen say Brandi thrives on conflict? Sounds about right! So let’s breakdown what Brandi has to say about this week’s episode.
First of all, Brandi calls everyone out for labeling Kim as an addict like it’s a bad thing. Has Intervention taught you people nothing?! “Addiction is not a negative label, and it’s not an insult. It’s being used by some people to label others in a negative light, which I find distasteful and shameful,” Brandi asserts.
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“It’s wrong and discriminatory to view an addict as a bad or somehow a lesser person. Addiction is serious and shouldn’t be tossed around lightly to diminish others or as a slur or to create dramatic effect or bring attention to the speaker,” Brandi continues. Forgetting, obviously, that she argued Yolanda Foster‘s daughter was an addict as an insult and then took serious offense to being called an alcoholic herself.
Now – on to all the ways Kyle is a horrible person who should be blamed. I do love a list about how Kyle is terrible! Brandi insists it was actually she and Kim caught in the midst of “Kyle’s manufactured drama” (aren’t we all!) and how Kyle, as usual, is the one who elevated the situation into a bigger crisis than it needed to be.
“Kyle is running from person to person with her tales. Then the hens start cackling, and the pearl clutching continues,” she recounts.”Don’t they have anything else to do or gossip about, other than Kim and I? I’m beginning to think some don’t.” Considering Brandi believes you’re nobody unless someone is talking about you, shouldn’t she be thrilled by this revelation?!
And now: Brandi’s version of events.
“I would have preferred to stay home and for Kim to have had a fun night with friends. I was talked into going, and I now wish I had listened to my gut and stayed home,” Brandi maintains. “I did not go their looking for a fight or for this to happen, but with Kyle as the hostess, I guess we were doomed from the get go.”
“OK, you guys saw the party. You know I didn’t attack anyone. I ordered one glass of wine, and I was as composed as possible for a very long time,” Brandi reminds us. “But after being confronted, attacked, insulted, screamed at, cursed out over and over and then seeing Kim treated badly, I lost my temper and came on stronger than I’d have liked to get Kyle to back down.”
Brandi continues, “I also regained my composer, stood quietly to the side, waited until after Kyle was finished cursing Kim out. Then Mark and I got Kim out of there. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances Kyle handed us.”
I think Brandi is missing the point – yes, initially she didn’t challenge Kyle at the mixer, but showing up to the mixer was an act of aggression in itself following Poker Night. Especially given how already fraught the situation was because of Brandi’s involvement in Kim and Kyle’s relationship. While Brandi have been “reacting” (technically and initially) to Kyle at the mixer, in actuallity this is a string of reactions to reactions in a long path of aggressive and toxic interactions between Kyle and Brandi – and given that Kyle knew Brandi was basically filling Kim’s [very willing to be filled] ear with info about how terrible she was, Brandi should have STAYED HOME from the party. Apparently she wanted to…
Also Brandi wants it known she was not attacking Kyle – and Kyle was embellishing the truth. “It seems even Yolanda was visited by Kyle with her tall tales of my attacking her. Sorry, Kyle, you can keep selling it hard, but no one smart is buying it.” I am smart, I’m not buying it, but I’m also not buying what Brandi’s selling either. Or what Kim is selling. Or what any Housewife is selling – other than Lisa Rinna‘s Depends, I might buy those. (I kid). Sounds like there was a time when Kim should have bought those too.
Brandi is disappointed that Yolanda believed Kyle’s version of events and also believes Brandi is an out-of-control alcoholic. I’d like to state for the record that Brandi heard what she wanted to hear in that conversation – what she is afraid is the truth about herself, so she was defensive: that she’s got a drinking problem.
But, what Yolanda actually said was, when Brandi drinks around these girls, she drinks too much – that she’s a nasty drunk – and she ought to recognize this and refrain from drinking in already agitated situations where she might do something regrettable, like any situation where she’s required to interact with Kyle. Brandi may not be an alcoholic, but she is an unhappy person who does not react well to alcohol, which she drinks to mask anxiety and insecurity.
“Love Yo, love Bella…,” Brandi clarifies, of course, BUT… “Now Yo has seen and knows the whole truth, but it’s a shame my friend Yo was told so many distorted tales, and we had to address the manufactured drama instead of just enjoy our day together,” Brandi complains. “As for both of the Gladys Kravitz sisters’ (who!?) coincidental misuse of the word ‘deflection,’ I had noting to deflect. Instead, I was making an example,” explains Brandi.
“’They say,’ (referring to tabloids, internet gossip blogs, and certain social circles) that something is true, so it has to be true, right? No, wrong. Just because people say it or write about it doesn’t make it the truth. I was simply giving her an example of how I feel every time one of these women says something about me,” Brandi cites, explaining the Bella comment. “Just because it’s being said doesn’t make it true and doesn’t mean I like to hear it, as I’m sure Yolanda doesn’t either.” Fair enough. But I think Yolanda was merging what Kyle said, with actions she personally has seen many times over from Brandi to make this assertion.
“Hmm, was Kyle just seen trying to come between me and MY friend? Why would she ever do that?” Brandi wonders. “Why would she try and turn my friend against me? Oh wait, that’s Kyle’s schtick.” Now I COMPLETELY agree that is Kyle’s schtick, as we have seen her do this many times over: with Lisa, with Adrienne, with Camille, started to with Taylor before she was fired, etc. etc. etc. Brandi and Kyle both have betrayal and attention-seeking schtick – very predictable those two.
Brandi is also adamant that she is not “coming between sisters” like the interwebs and Kyle are accusing her of. “Kim asked me to be involved in her life. I’m her friend. It’s a privilege. I respect her privacy. I love her. That’s my choice and my business. I get a lot of joy and laughter from being Kim’s friend. She is kind, giving, and a very funny lady. There is so much of her you don’t see that is fabulous.”
“The fact that Kim has a sibling isn’t relevant to Kim’s request of my involvement in her life or our close friendship,” Brandi declares. “I can promise you, lots of people all over the world have sisters AND brothers, and they still have friends, best friends, spouses, dogs, and even houseplants. I find the idea that I can’t be Kim’s best friend because she has a sister ridiculous.”
Except, Brandi hates Kim’s sister (and it seems like Kim hates her own sister) and Brand is all too willing to have friction with Kyle at Kim’s behest – or without it – and they spend a large part of their “friendship” discussing Kim and Kyle’s sisterhood.
“Now, to quote Kim on Eileen’s constant interference, ‘Just stay out of this.’ That’s my opinion, too. You don’t know Kim, and you don’t know me. You don’t even know Kyle.” Thank God is my answer to all of that. Thank God I don’t know any of you on a personal level. Except Eileen.
Finally Brandi explains why exactly she was discussing her very good friend Kim’s very personal and intimate details with Lisa R, whom is not Kim’s friend and whom Brandi thinks is a meddling interloper. I mean, isn’t that what she was just complaining about everyone doing to her? And to Kim? Most specifically Kyle?
“We also saw Lisa R. being VERY concerned with labeling people she doesn’t know with the very strong word, ‘addiction.’ This seems like a pastime for her. She has no understanding of the definition of ‘enabler,’ either,” Brandi charges. “But she knows it has negative connotations and it’s dramatic, so she uses it frequently and irresponsibly.”
“I’m not quite sure if she sees herself as a psychiatrist, psychologist, sober coach or MSW, what with her diagnosing anger issues, alcoholism, and addictions at most of our social functions, but last I heard, they didn’t give out those degrees or doctorates on Melrose Place,” Brandi concludes.
Speak for yourself, Brandi, I earned my Doctorate of Psychology right on twitter, and by studying prolifically at the Housewives Institute of Bravo Entertainment Studies. In fact, this here is my dissertation. Dr. Mary, PhD Housewivesologist – open for business. Also, don’t f–k with my Melrose – that show is still giving me life 20 years later.
Brandi also reminds us that this show – and her behavior on it – are very small snippets of her life.
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BRANDI’S VERSION OF EVENTS?
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