On last night’s Little Women LA, the aftermath of Todd’s rampage unsettles the group, the ladies run a 5K for charity, Lila attempts to make amends with Terra Jole in hopes of joining the friendship circle, and Elena Gant undergoes some sketchy plastic surgery.
We pick up at Terra’s “Used Date” party which she’s throwing for Tonya Banks. The women have all brought guys they used to date and are now offering up to Tonya, but the night is overshadowed by another ex altogether. Lila, Joe’s ex girlfriend, who Terra claims is still obsessed with Joe, somehow provokes Joe to start talking enough smack to instigate Christy McGinty’s husband, Todd. Before Todd can take a swing at Joe, Traci Harrison’s husband Erik jumps on him, knocking him to the ground as the cowardly Joe backs off. Elena’s husband Preston pulls Erik off of Todd, while Joe yells at Todd about verbally attacking “a pregnant lady” (Terra) last week and now trying to attack him. Erik is going ballistic in the corner. Christy blames the entire situation on Joe being immature (yes) and little people drinking too much alcohol (maybe). Christy and Erik start screaming at each other while Joe – who’s still wearing his douchey sunglasses – calls Christy and Todd pigs, complete with “oink oink” sound effects. Wow.
The next morning Terra, Joe, Traci, and Erik meet for breakfast to debrief. Joe acknowledges that he was scared of Todd and Erik basically saved his life. He calls Erik the tranquilizer gun that stopped the hippo. The guys agree that Todd tries to protect Christy too much, while Christy sits back and just slowly stirs the pot. Joe and Terra claim that Christy brought Lila to start a fight, but from where I sit it looks like the only fight started last night was courtesy of J.O.E.
Christy and Briana Mason meet at another restaurant where Christy claims she didn’t bring Lila along to ruffle any feathers, but the jury’s still out on that. Lila joins the ladies and apologizes for her part in the drama…if her part was sitting at another table chatting while Joe acted like a world class d-bag, instigating everyone around him by hurling insults from behind the protection of his ray bans. Briana’s still pissed about Terra one-upping on open mic night. Christy is justifiably hurt about being called fat and “Miss Piggy” by Joe. She struggles with her weight and tells the girls she’s interested in participating in a charity 5K run coming up. I’ve gotta say this: Christy, for her part (and on YES, she has a significant part in almost all of the drama on this show), does seem to move on from things quickly. Good on ya, Christy! Now if she can just quit scheming in the mean time.
Terra visits Tonya’s house and sort-of apologizes to her about the party turning into a sh*t storm. They were both invited to participate in Christy’s 5K run, which is for a good cause, so they agree to go but are not interested in seeing Todd there.
At Erik and Traci’s condo, they move Erik’s dad, and his cat, into the guest bedroom for the night. Erik has to remove the cat because their landlord doesn’t allow them, but Traci’s more worried about how the cat and father in law will fare in their new house, which they’re moving into tomorrow.
It’s the day of the 5K and Tonya (and her daughter Angela), Terra, Briana, Christy, and Lila are ready to get their costumes on. Terra gets assigned the skunk costume and….BWAHHAHAHAHA! Let’s just say she’s not happy about the choice. She throws the costume back on the pile and Lila offers her the gnome costume instead. Terra interviews that Christy and Lila can shove these costumes right up their hoo-ha’s. Lila kindly offers Terra the rainbow costume next, which Terra finally accepts. These are COSTUMES, people. Not bridal gowns. Tonya doesn’t buy Lila’s “nice” act, interviewing that “these heifers are trying to start Round 2!” The race is on: Tonya the devil, Lila the gnome, Briana the ballerina, Terra the rainbow, and Christy the bunny all jockey for first position. But Tonya turns on the jets and beats them all.
Elena shows up for the 5K pancake breakfast after the race. She couldn’t participate because she’s prepping for her plastic surgery (a butt lift) tomorrow. Over pancakes, Terra confronts Christy about the party drama. Terra tells Christy that Todd is a horrible man and Christy fires back that Joe is no prize either. Agreed on both fronts, ladies. Briana pipes up that the things Joe said were low and can never be taken back. Lila tells Terra she doesn’t even want Joe, and Terra says, “So stop texting him, ho!” She says Lila is a ho and a stalker, but Lila calmly denies all texting accusations. Tonya suggests they all make an agreement to let each other know if they’re bringing each other’s ex’s to an event next time. What!? Lila coughs the word “cult” under her breath and Tonya gets all finger-in-Lila’s-face about it. Lila calls Tonya crazy, then Terra continues calling Lila a ho…repeatedly. Through tears – whether fake or real – Lila says she’s not here to mess with Terra and Joe and that she’d like to have a peaceful group of little women friends here in LA. She invites the ladies to a party to start fresh. Terra agrees that she doesn’t want to get fired up over drama anymore. Does Terra know that if you don’t keep starting drama, there probably won’t be much drama? Simple!
The next day Elena goes in for her butt augmentation surgery. The surgery is intense, with Elena getting fat sucked from various places on her body then injected into her butt. To make matters scarier, Elena is the first little person her doctor has worked on. Elena is put under rather quickly, which surprises the doctor. God, this is actually frightening listening to the doctor say things like, “Wow, she’s really tight on this side. Do you think it could be her anatomy?” as he performs the surgery. OMG. #lawsuitvideo #electivesurgerynightmare
They finish the procedure and have a little trouble reviving her, but she comes out of surgery just fine. Elena is cold and tired after waking up, but she interviews that she’s excited. Though she does ask Preston to smack her because she feels like an idiot for making the wrong decision to do this. Preston, sweetheart that he is, just strokes her head and smiles. #loveisblind
Traci and Erik are moving into their new house with Erik’s dad (and cat!) still along for the ride. Erik’s dad is not happy about his room assignment, wanting instead to be closer to them. They finally wrangle him back into his appropriately-distanced-from-the-master bedroom and hug over their new adventure.
It’s the day of Lila’s party and she’s nervous about Terra showing up and going cray-cray on her. Lila, who’s newly sober, is nervous about being around alcohol too. Christy, sober for 5 years now, is there for moral support along with Briana. Elena, and Elena’s freshly minted butt – which she can’t even sit on yet – show up next. She tells the girls her butt looks like she had a wild night of anal sex with her husband. Eww. Please let that be the end of her story. Terra and Tonya show up next. Although Tonya isn’t looking to start a fight, she claims she’ll finish one if Lila starts anything with her tonight.
Tonya asks Briana about Matt. Briana says he’s good and he wants to come visit her again soon. Tonya then asks if they’ve done Skype sex yet. I don’t even want to know. Lila says it’s hard being a little person in the dating world, but she just wants a strong man to throw her around. Terra and Tonya snark under their breath that the guy would have to be a weight lifter to throw Lila anywhere. Christy hears it all and wonders when these women, who say they’re sick of drama, will start acting like real friends and leave their middle school antics behind. What was that Tonya said earlier about not wanting to start a fight? Ummm, yeah.
Lila asks Terra about her life, which is Terra’s favorite subject. She tells Terra that she’s very happy for her, wishes her nothing but the best, and knows Terra’s baby will be beautiful. This move is called Killing Her with Kindness, and I for one am LOVING it. Terra sort of grunts a “thanks,” then follows Lila into the kitchen to tell her that she didn’t mean to be so aggressive at the party when they first saw each other. I guess that’s as much of an apology as Lila’s getting from Terra for now. Terra then announces a group trip to Catalina she and Joe want to take everyone on. Terra tells Lila she can come, but she can’t promise Joe will be anything less than a massive douche lord cordial. Traci asks Christy if Todd will be ok on the trip. Christy claims Todd is a big teddy bear and will, of course, be nice. Oh, but of course! She then asks Traci if Erik will behave too. Traci responds that “Erik didn’t rush our table.” Burn. Tonya shuts down the husband smack talk with a toast to friendship, but thinks Terra is out of her mind inviting everyone on this trip.
Next week we’ll see how insane Terra’s idea really is when all of the little people board a boat headed for a few days of sleeping in tents together…on an island.
TELL US – WHO WILL SURVIVE THE CAMPING TRIP NEXT EPISODE?
Recap Author: Erin M.