Dance Moms Recap: Panic Attack

I knew it was too much to ask for another Abby Lee Miller bye-week on Dance Moms. It’s like my week is just full of Mondays! It’s deja vu as the episode begins with the moms yet again wondering if the ALDC leader will show her face this week. Kira announces that she’s enlisted Kalani’s hometown dance teacher Alexa to work on a solo for Kira at this week’s competition in Phoenix. Jill wonders if it’s such a good idea to defy the crazy lady to whom they subject their children, but Kira retorts that if Abby has a problem with her decision, perhaps she and her daughter will leave with her original instructor. Kira also shares the rumor that Jeanette has taken over Candy Apples with good ol’ Cathy. I am not sure I’m up for all of this drama (pours wine, shovels Trader Joe’s mac and cheese into mouth for a late dinner/really ate lunch…)! 

Across town, Jeanette reveals that Cathy won’t be joining the Candy Apples in Los Angeles this week, but she’s gotten her blessing to lead the studio to victory. The Candy Apple moms must have gotten a Groupon on Botox. Jeanette cites their group number as an interpretation of people who get a taste of fame and go crazy. The ALDC girls notice that there is no pyramid set up this week, and Abby enters, totally ignoring all of the moms. Holly questions her intentions, and she coldly leads the girls in warm-up and mentions her attendance will be determined on a daily basis. Kira mentions her plans to have Kalani to work with her hometown instructor, and Abby says she’ll think about it…not.

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The moms request a five minute meeting with Abby to discuss their latest issues, and Abby claims to have nothing to say. She grants them her presence briefly and she tells Gianna to come retrieve her in five minutes no matter what. When the mothers cite Abby’s altercation with Kira, Abby turns on Jessalyn, claiming she is the reason for her absence, not Kira. Jessalyn commented that they all need to help each other, implying that Abby didn’t ever help anyone. She drones on for two minutes about her charitable acts before being fetched by Gianna. The moms can spot her deflection a mile away…she’s not going to engage in another tiff with Kira because she needs Kalani for a win. Kira is quite fine with this turn of events of course she is, but the remaining ladies are peeved to say the least. 

Abby grants Kalani Kira’s requested solo, and she announces the group routine will be entitled Panic Room. She is sick and tired of being undermined and offended by these women who accuse her of not doing what’s best for their girls. I have to admit, this number looks like it’s going to be amazing. Regardless, the mothers are concerned about competing against the Candy Apples. Speaking of, Jeanette has Cathy’s girls practicing their routine with Ava as the lead. Back at the ALDC, Alexa has arrived and is discussing her plans for Kalani’s choreography. Kira takes Alexa to meet Abby, sharing the news that Jeannette is helming the Candy Apples. The moms watch Kira approach Abby as meekly as possible, and they laugh about her bravado when Abby’s not around. Gianna is quick to shoot down Alexa’s suggestions (when did she become this mini-Abby? I am not digging it at all), and Abby is silently fuming. She wants Alexa to sign a non-compete, but Alexa declines. After that awkward interaction, Kira and Alexa reconvene to focus on Kalani’s solo. Kira doesn’t want Ava to gain another win over her daughter. Not surprisingly, Jeanette is giving her daughter the same pep talk for her praying mantis solo…a jab at Abby’s insults. 

At the ALDC studio, Alexa is getting frustrated with all the critiques she’s having to give Kalani. She’s clearly regressed under Abby’s instruction. Meanwhile, Abby is really focused on her last practice for the group number. She shares her criticisms and lack of confidence with the girls, much to the mothers’ dismay. The following day, the team arrives in Arizona and the moms immediately start in with the Candy Apple mothers. You’ve got to love their maturity. As Kalani rehearses backstage, Abby bites her tongue as Alexa gives criticism after criticism. When Abby mumbles under her breath, Jill stirs the pot and requests that Abby express her feelings so everyone can hear. Abby declines, but she’s beside herself at Kira’s insinuation that her choreography wasn’t good enough for Kalani.

Ava is the first dancer showcased, and her lines are impeccable. Abby does her best to pretend not to watch. Backstage, Kalani and Ava exchange well wishes (because the girls are so much more mature than their mothers!) as Kira warns that her daughter better not blow it after she’s talked such a big game to the other moms. Kalani’s performance is also stunning, and she receives a good round of applause from Abby. In the dressing room, Gianna realizes that Kalani and Nia’s age bumps the group up an age bracket and out of the junior division. Abby quickly gives Kalani the ax from Panic Room, and Kira complains that her daughter is being punished for having Alexa choreograph her solo. Um, you think? Kira vows that if Kalani doesn’t dance with her team, she’s leaving the ALDC. Haven’t we heard this before? Abby screams that JoJo should not be dancing in the teen division any more than Kalani should be dancing as a junior. The moms fear that reblocking the number without Kalani will be be their demise, and Kira cites all of the people who are in the audience to see Kalani perform.

Jeanette’s girls dance first, and while they are great, I can’t get over their swan costumes. It’s definitely a very dramatic number. In the wings, Abby’s girls take turns giving pep talks in the wake of Kalani being cut from the routine last minute. Even without Kalani, the routine is amazing…reminiscent of their phenomenal group numbers from season’s past. To prove her point, Kira won’t allow Kalani to sit with her team during the awards ceremony. Jeanette is insulted when Ava’s solo places fourth, and Kalani wins her division. The Candy Apples group number places third with the ALDC scoring the deserved top spot. In the dressing room, Kalani is in tears, and Kira announces that they are going to stay in Arizona. The other moms plead with Kira to reconsider as Kalani cries that she wants to be with a teacher who wants her on the team. 

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DID KIRA MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE BY ENLISTING ALEXA? 

[Photo Credit: Lifetime]