The closer we get to the premiere of The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Checks In, the more I expect to hear about Teresa Giudice. But a “throwback” confession from Lisa Lampanelli, while hilarious, isn’t quite what I had in mind.
Lisa Lampanelli’s Greatest Story Ever Told:
“You may remember I did this show – this little show on a major network – called The Celebrity Apprentice,” said Lisa. “The year that I did it, it was definitely, because of me, called Celebrity Fight Club because I hated everyone. What makes it worse for the women celebrities is that we have to spend two hours in hair and makeup every day because we look so bedraggled. One morning, like six weeks into the show, I am super tired and at 4 a.m. my makeup artist comes in and she goes, ‘Lisa, listen to this, everyone in wardrobe is saying Teresa – From the Real Housewives, who was also on the show with me. You know, the one in jail now. – is definitely pregnant because her stomach appears to be getting bigger.’ I’m like, ‘I need to investigate this because I need to be in on all the tea, honey.'”
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Lisa explained how her quest for tea and need to gossip bit her in the ass:
“That day we get to the task. I go in, we’re not being filmed yet, and I check out the whole cast,” admitted Lisa. “I land on Teresa‘s stomach. Now remember at the time I weighed 248. I’m not the beautiful, skinny bitch I am now, so I’m just happy that somebody else appears to be gaining weight. I look at her stomach and it did appear a little bit bigger than usual. I grab my phone and I text to Aubrey O’Day, who was also on the show with me, and I said, ‘Check out the gut on Teresa. Word is, she’s knocked up again, and that’s all we need, another one of those kids running around.’ Because, you know, her kids aren’t exactly, you know, sweet. I hit send. At the exact second I press the word send, I realize I sent that freaking text to Teresa.”
Lisa shared how she recovered and which of their co-stars took the blame:
“Thank God I am a genius, which proves why I should have won The Celebrity Apprentice,” boasted Lisa. “My mind starts racing. We’ve all done it. We’ve all pressed send in an email that we didn’t mean to send, or a text. I start freaking out, but I’m smart. So I look at Teresa and I go to her, ‘Check out your phone.’ I texted her again and I said, ‘The text you just receive is one I’ve forwarded to you from one of your teammates. I’m not going to throw anyone under the bus right now, but all I have to say is, keep your eye on Clay Aiken.’ And to this day Clay doesn’t know that’s why Teresa hated him. I escaped unscathed. Until now. She’s probably going to kill me when she gets out of jail.”
This made me laugh (and nod my head the whole way through) because I have been there. I am guilty of writing a bitchy email about a friend, then sending said email to said friend. It’s not a good feeling. But thankfully it’s something we can laugh about today.
TELL US: HAVE YOU EVER DONE THIS? DID YOU WATCH THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE 5 WITH TERESA, CLAY, AND LISA?
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