The first ladies of Lifetimeâs âLittle Womenâ franchise are back for season FOUR! This season of Little Women: LA sees the gang reunited, minus Brittney âFreakabrittâ Guzman, for another round of oversized drama, including more friendship fallouts and â of course â more pregnancy news. (Has there been a season yet that didnât involve marriage or pregnancy hullabaloo of some sort, I ask you? Looks like this oneâs no different!)
We start out at Jasmine Arteaga Sorgeâs home, where sheâs fixinâ to throw a Mommy Cocktail Party. Itâs been only about a month since Elena Gant and Saint Prestonâs vow renewal in Hawaii, which means itâs also been a mere hot minute since the epic throw down between Briana Renee (formerly Manson), Matt Ericson, andâŚevery other human being on the show.  Jasmine is still sporting the spider lashes, and sheâs still BFFs with Briana, who shows up first to the soiree. Â
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Since Hawaii, Jasmine is the only friend Brianaâs got left on earth. No shocker there. Tonya Banks, who Jasmine has buried the hatchet with, shows up and informs us that sheâs still single (Bye, Jaa!) and keeping busy with her workout videos. Christy McGinity arrives next. Her focus is on daughter Autumn, whoâs just undergone major surgery and is bedridden. Christy and Todd have put artificial insemination and horrifying OB appointments on the back burner until Autumn recovers.
NOT on the back burner is Christyâs white hot rage at Briana for accusing Todd (in Hawaii) of stalk-texting her! Christy thinks Briana is a Liar McLiarpants, especially after she found text messages from Briana to Todd on his phone (Briana claimed she didnât even know Toddâs number). But Christy says sheâs willing to keep things amicable with Briana at Jasmineâs party until further notice.
Terra Jole hasnât seen the ladies in a while, having spent most of her time taking care of baby Penny, whoâs health has been an ongoing concern. Terra arrives and chats with Christy about her 1982 spiral perm. Since theyâre allies again, they know theyâll need to join forces against Jasmiana! (Apparently, Terra and Christyâs alliance will be short lived, however, given last weekâs news of Terra smashing a glass into Christyâs head while filming! Ugh.)
With proverbial spoon in hand, Terra immediately stirs the sh*t by asking Christy why Jasmine didnât invite Elena to her party today? Because itâs âmommiesâ only, she guesses. Something tells me this will not sit well with Ms. Gant, especially if predictions are true that Elena may be the cast member pregnant with TWINS. (Just a guess here, but Iâd place a few bucks on that bet. Some are predicting it may be Briana too, but I just cannot go there! #SayItAintSo!)
Jasmine gathers the women at the table to chat about mommyhood. They discuss Autumnâs surgery, then naturally, boob jobs. Ermergerd. Jasmine reveals that not only does she want to dabble in more plastic surgery, but she also wants to start an EYELASH LINE. To be fair, her talking head interview look does reveal a better lash look than she normally sports, but still. Girlfriend usually needs major help in the false eyelash department! Because of her type of dwarfism, Jasmine is not able to grow hair, so she has to rely on false eyelashes and hair. Sheâd love to help other women who struggle like her. She also reveals sheâd love to have another child, although sheâs not actively trying right now.
Guess who else is trying to get pregnant? Briana!! Christy along with the rest of the universe is not thrilled to hear this news. She doesnât want to see Briana chained to D-Bag of the Year forever.
Tonya changes the subject, asking the ladies to come along to a motocross event where they can get down and dirty. More to come on that later.
With the party behind her, Terra meets Elena out to see samples of her new makeup line. Elena is promoting 5 different eye shadow palettes, âLittle Palettes,â and wants to throw a preview party for her friends and family to take a first look. Terra fills Elena in on Jasmineâs eyelash line dreams, which doesnât sit well with Elena. Sheâs also miffed that Jasmine, who Elena tried to include in the group last season, didnât invite her to the mommy party. Elena has been getting the sense that Jasmine is going a little Single White Female on her lately and sees her as a fake b*tch, period. Terra smiles, knowing that Elena will go hard at Jasmine now that sheâs in possession of this info.
At Christyâs house, sheâs rifling through her closet with her mom, whoâs staying at Christyâs to help take care of Autumn. They come across a pink box, which contains the ashes of Toddâs infant daughter, Chloe (sp?), who he tragically lost only after a few days of her birth, due to double-dominancy. Todd doesnât want to spread Chloeâs ashes until he has another child, but Christy confesses to her mom that sheâs DONE. She doesnât want to pursue having another biological child anymore, but has yet to tell Todd this news. #Really? Christyâs mom offers that they might still consider adoption, but she better hurry up because ânobodyâs getting any younger.â
At lunch, Jasmine and Briana are dishing about the âtransitionâ of being married to Matt and how heâs also â ahem â âlooking for a job.â MmmmmHmmmm. <side eye> Briana doesnât want to be the nagging wife to Mattâs deadbeat husband, but there you have it. She doesnât feel as if she and Matt rushed into marriage, but she does admit they have been arguing more lately. Briana expects Matt to contribute financially to their relationship and doesnât want to be impatient with him while heâs looking. Last seen gainfully employed, Matt was in Seattle jumping in front of people with guns and saving childrenâs lives and working for the governmentâŚor some such nonsense. At least thatâs what he said at the reunion, which cleared things up like shiny new crystal! #LinkedInProfileFromHell
Christy, Christyâs perm, and Todd are out for ice cream (is this part of Toddâs new diet!?) to discuss their future. Todd wonders when theyâre going to try for another baby? Christy admits the hormones of IVF exacerbated her neck issues and wreaked havoc on her body so badly, she doesnât want to ever go through it again. Todd tears up, telling Christy he doesnât want her to âgive him a babyâ just for the sake of their relationship. Heâs willing to adopt. So is Christy! Awww. Sounds like theyâre going to pursue this option together.Â
Oh lawd! Weâre plunged into the private life of Briana and Matt next as Briana takes Jasmineâs advice to heart. She wants to find a âloving wayâ to tell Matt how she feels. (May I offer the following suggestion? âGET. A. JOB.â) At lunch, Briana tells Matt, âI need you to be looking for a jobâŚâ but Matt defends himself immediately as having worked since he was 16 years old, so there! Briana pushes again, then Matt does what he does best: mocks her. Good to know he hasnât suddenly morphed into a Reformed Man since last season! I had a teensy suspicion that he might use this season to redeem his on-camera image after seeing himself on air â or reading even 10 of the 10,000 negative comments about him online. Alas, not so! Looks like weâll be treated to more of the same when it comes to everybodyâs favorite average sized, d*ck pic sending, jobless loser! (Too harsh? Nah.)
Itâs Motocross Day! And, since thereâs been no screaming fights just yet, probably the scene of this episodeâs big brawl. Elena is freaking me out with her oddly mesmerizing blue contacts, while the rest of the ladies are getting their biker chic look on. Christy is ready to explode at the mere sight of Briana, while Elena is cold-shouldering Jasmine. She tells Terra, Tonya, and Christy that she doesnât trust Jasmineâs intentions and she feels Jasmine is ultimately trying to replace her in the group.
After much tugging and grunting, the ladies get their motocross gear on and mount their bikes. Brianaâs has training wheels, which seems to be the safest bet at this point since Tonyaâs bike bites the dust almost immediately. #LittleBossDown! After they get the hang of it, they tear up the track and, I have to admit, it looks mad fun! Ack! Until Brianaâs training-wheeled bike turns over! She dusts herself off, then takes a unionized biker break. Oh snap! Terra biffs it â BAD â next! Well, this has gone from fun to fiasco in less than 20 seconds. Perhaps not Tonyaâs brightest idea ever?
Jasmine brags that she didnât fall even once, but Elena rightly snarks that she was the only one driving a 4-wheeler. So, shut it. At the table after their ride, Elena starts in on Jasmine for not inviting her to the party. Jasmine defends that it was a âmommyâ event only, and she doesnât have a personal problem with Elena.
Not one to let someone elseâs fight detract from her own brewing fight, Christy takes the reins next. She confronts Briana about her lies that Todd had been inappropriately texting her, when it was Briana texting Todd all along (according to what Christy says she read on Toddâs phone).
Christy threatens to email all of their friends the conversations between Briana and Todd to PROVE what a liar she is. âAll you are is full of lies! Iâm sick of looking at your ugly face!â yells Christy, after telling Briana she could give a f*ck about her being married to Matt at this point. Since Briana has come for Christyâs marriage, thatâs her number one concern now.
Meanwhile at the other end of the table, Elena and Jasmine are still biting each otherâs heads off about who invited whom to whose party. They are getting nowhere. Terra claims she âjust feels bad for Tonyaâ for putting this event together, only to see it all blow up like this. Thatâs rich, since Terra was the one who fed Elena the very info sheâs using to attack Jasmine right now! Tonyaâs exasperation in the photo below completely sums up my reaction to this 2-headed beast of an argument:
Bottom line: Elena thinks Jasmine has no friends of her own, so now sheâs trying to take hers away. Jasmine thinks this accusation is ridiculous. Nothing she can say will diffuse this situation. âI didnât know Elena had a claim on being the only little person blonde woman,â snarks Jasmine in her talking head. She looked this way long before Elena came to America, she says, and has been in the beauty industry for 10 years. So her eyelash line is not a copycat move either. âIâm done!â Jasmine shouts before walking off.
Elena is done too. But she does want everyone to come to her eye shadow palette preview party coming up â everyone, that is, except Jasmine.Â
TELL US: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE SEASON 4 PREMIERE? IS JASMINE TRYING TO COPY ELENA? IS BRIANA LYING ABOUT THE TODD TEXTS? WHOâS PREGNANT WITH TWINS!?!?Â
Photo Credit: Lifetime
If youâre curious about that brawl between Terra and Christy coming up later this season, TMZ shared video last night.Â