Little Women: LA Recap: Beauty Brawl

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Another baby race? Say it ain’t so, Little Women: LA! We already know one cast member is expecting twins, but who? Christy McGinity and hubby Todd have also decided to pursue adoption in lieu of undergoing more IVF treatments. And Briana Renee has been hinting at her desire to spawn procreate with Matt since day one. Now it seems Terra Jole is pressuring Joe for more kids too. So, here we are. The race is on…again!

Elena Gant and Terra are out getting Elena’s tattoos lasered off. Elena says she wants them gone since she’s preparing to have kids (that makes sense…how?), but the process takes three years. No time like the present to start, I guess! The ladies have recovered from their bumps and bruises ala the motocross event, but have not recovered from their issues with each other: specifically Elena’s beef with Jasmine Sorge. Elena hasn’t invited Jasmine to her eye shadow palettes launch because she is DONE with that fake somebody. 

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Briana and Matt are still playing the part of loving newlyweds hoping for a spinoff as they stroll through a park on a random workday. Which is easy to do when your husband is perpetually unemployed. Briana is at an all time low in her friendship with Christy, who lashed out at Briana at motocross. Matt accuses Christy of being “butt hurt” and simply unhappy. Briana wants to focus on more delusional endeavors, like planning a dream wedding to the man she secretly married after he cheated on her by sending d*ck pics to strangers! Matt says he’s here to help. I bet he is. <side eye>

Jasmine meets Tonya Banks at the spa to get some girl time after the motocross blowup. Ironically, Tonya and Jasmine are bosom buddies now that last season’s messiness is behind them, but Jasmine has a new foe to deal with these days: Elena. Tonya reiterates that Elena was hurt by Jasmine not inviting her to her “mommy party,” so Jasmine shouldn’t be surprised that she’s not invited to Elena’s launch. Jasmine lies claims that she wishes all the success in the world to Elena, and that she’s not trying to compete with her in any way. Then she accuses Elena of lacking confidence. 

Tonya agrees that she suffered from low self esteem all her life, but becoming a mother got her out of her funk and taught her to love herself. Awww. I love that. Jasmine cries that she’s been bullied her whole life, which I’m sure all of these women have, so she takes it personally when someone calls her fake and phony. She claims she’s just trying to be herself. Why do her tears seem fake to me then? #irony 

Later on, Terra and Christy meet up for lunch to dish about Briana. They agree that Briana has dramatically changed since Matt came into the picture, and her family agrees. Briana’s sister, Tiana, reached out to Terra to talk about Briana – and she’s coming to lunch right now! WHAT? Christy feels like it’s a bit of a lost cause when it comes to “saving” Briana, but she’s willing to talk to Tiana. 

Tiana shows up and, without even a hello exchanged, gets right down to business. Briana’s parents still haven’t met Matt (he’s been married to their daughter for SEVEN months), even though they want to. Briana is still spreading propaganda that her parents want nothing to do with him, though. Tiana met Matt only because she was “forced.” And their whole family is afraid of how much Briana has distanced herself from them. Everyone – friends and family alike – agree on one thing: Matt is a sociopath. “He’s got his victim, and now he’s working it,” says Tiana.

Last year’s background check on Matt revealed a somewhat checkered past, but now Tiana says she’s seriously worried he might abuse Briana. She claims Briana casually said, “I don’t understand why it’s not okay for men to hit women” while they were driving in the car last year. This troubled Tiana for obvious reasons, and further cemented how much her sister has changed since Matt’s come into her life.    

Christy, having had experiences with domestic violence, feels like she is reliving it all watching what’s happening with Briana. What does Briana’s family want from her now? Tiana says they want an apology. I assume they just want their daughter back too, as all parents do. Terra and Christy promise to help in any way they can. 

Okay – a few things here: first, Matt is a Grade A D-Bag. No argument there. And Tiana seems genuinely worried about her sister, as I’m sure are her parents. But is recruiting Terra and Christy on a reality show storyline the best way to “save” Briana from her potentially hazardous situation? Maybe it is because it’s the only way they can operate – publicly – right now. But Tiana is running a HUGE risk here too, as she throws out pretty serious accusations about Matt getting physical with Briana that are unsubstantiated (at present). I know, it’s TV. But if Briana is really in a dangerous position, I just wonder if this move will do more harm than good? #ThisIsGettingTooRealForMe! 

At Jasmine’s house, her hubby Chris and little boy are chillin’ in the living room. Chris has been accepted to a program to become a railroad conductor, and he recently passed a big test to get the job. Yay! But there’s no position available for him in California right now, so he’s either furloughed or needs to move out of state. Boo! Jasmine is not up for moving, and she wants to have another child. She’ll wait on the baby. But how long can they wait for a job?

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At the adoption agency, Christy and Todd are starting the process all over again. They’re pursuing a foster-to-adoption program so they don’t risk biological parents not choosing them for “independent adoption” after they find out Christy and Todd are little people. The adoption agent admits she hasn’t worked with little people before, but she assures them they shouldn’t be discriminated against except for their medical restrictions. Christy is concerned that Todd’s morbid obesity will limit their options, as his health might hinder them from becoming qualified adoptive parents. Todd admits this is a concern too, but says he’s not worried about it. Christy isn’t so sure. 

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Since they’re growing out of their current home, Terra and Joe are house-hunting for a new place to raise baby Penny – and a gaggle of other kids, if Terra has her way. Being little people, it’s tough to find a home that suits all of their needs, but they can customize what doesn’t work. The view is amazing, but the bedrooms are on the small side. Terra wants an option to add rooms to this 3-bedroom, as she busts out the following news: “I want 3 to 4 kids. I want a big family!” Joe’s reaction is this:

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Joe wants to put the baby talk on hold, which causes Terra to throw her keys in his face (hinting at the glass she’ll throw in Christy’s face months later!). Terra accuses him of going back on his word. They’ve both wanted a big family from the beginning, she claims. Okay, are we acting like none of us witnessed Joe Gnoffo’s reaction to seeing that pregnancy stick of Terra’s 2 season’s ago? It went something like this, “OH HELL NO!” (tosses stick across the room like it’s a pipe bomb). So, maybe Terra’s remembering a different version of events? 

Christy is out shopping with her mama, who’s been staying with her throughout Autumn’s recovery from leg-straightening surgery. They’re having a lovely time as mom snipes at Christy about having “no neck” and Christy fills mom in about the Abuse Intervention Lunch with Tiana. Good times! Christy still cares deeply about Briana, and she vows to talk to her about Tiana’s concerns at Elena’s makeup party tonight. Mom agrees. Ugh. Can’t wait!

At Elena’s party, Christy, Tonya, and Terra fill her in about the Tiana lunch. Tonya astutely points out that they, as her friends, can’t fix Briana’s family situation. #LittleBossWisdom But Christy has the bright idea of throwing Briana a “reception” (a wedding reception!?) and inviting Briana’s family there secretly. Secret weddings. Secret interventions. Secret receptions. This will not end well. Elena likes Christy’s idea, but Tonya isn’t convinced. It’s not their business to insert themselves into Briana’s family drama. “She got herself into it, she can get herself out,” quips Tonya. True dat. 

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Matt and MATT’S BLUE SHIRT (which is its own character at this point #MBS) and Briana join the party, and everyone mingles harmlessly for awhile. After Elena makes a speech and thanks the crowd for coming (Yay for her! The palettes are super cute!), Christy reveals that her parents are moving in with her…permanently. Even though she drives her crazy, Christy’s mom is a big help around the house. She’s also talking to her estranged brother these days, which Tonya jokes is good “because at least someone’s talking to their family!” Uh……..oh. 

Briana of course hears their comments because she’s, like, ONE foot away, but doesn’t react. So Terra and Christy take Briana aside to reveal what Tiana told them. Matt’s Blue Shirt – of course – joins them for the chat. Briana wonders why her sister is being so shady!? Terra asks if Matt wants to be accepted into Briana’s family, but he claims he didn’t cause the rift, so he can’t fix it. (Wasn’t this the same dude who said “I’m done with her forever!” after Tiana left last season’s reunion couch? Yeah, we heard you, Matt. We have ears. And a rewind function on our DVR.) 

In an attempt at dramatic flair and mangled English, Matt says he’s never seen so much “evilness” in his life perpetuated toward one person. Then he claims to have the pukes because he’s so UPSET. So he squats, mid-aisle. #LetsSeeTheVomit! #MethodActing #Don’tRuinTheSHIRT!

Briana-of-the-misguided-purple-highlights claims that her family mess started before they got married. Christy and Terra backtrack, admitting there are two sides to every story. Is it just me, or have Terra and Christy been reduced to almost whispering at this point? It’s as if they’re afraid of Matt’s reaction as much as Briana is. Terra does propose that Matt might want to play nice with Briana’s family, should they ever have children. Then Matt drops the following bomb: “That will never happen. I will NEVER let them see my child.” 

Terra and Christy are shocked at Matt’s words. And Terra’s even more shocked that Briana would just lamely stand by and let her husband say such things. Really? He’s said worse. Matt claims Briana’s stepmom told her that nobody would want to be with her unless they were “fetishists.” Matt may be getting this a bit twisted. I imagine they questioned if Matt was a fetishist, but who knows.

Briana says she is disgusted by her parents’ comments, and their treatment of Matt and her. Matt claims Briana’s parents told them to “stay the F” away from them, so they’re simply respecting their wishes. Christy presses Briana about whether this is indeed TRUE, but Briana is apparently not allowed to speak when Matt’s Blue Shirt is holding court. Christy wishes they could have had this conversation without Matt, as he is clearly controlling the dialogue here. But that ain’t gonna happen. 

Bottom line: looks like Briana’s not budging on this one. Tianagate: To Be Continued.  

TELL US: WHO’S TELLING THE TRUTH HERE? IS TIANA GOING ABOUT THIS BRIANA SITUATION THE RIGHT WAY? 

Photo Credit: Lifetime

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