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Before we begin our recap of Little Women: LA, it’s of some interest to note that Briana Renee did a bit of damage control in an interview posted just hours before the episode aired. She claimed that her sister, Tiana, falsely accused her husband Matt Ericson of abusive tendencies on last week’s show. And she’s hoppin’ mad about it. Briana says Tiana’s accusations were “a complete, blatant straight-up lie” and “disgusting.” Furthermore, Briana maintains she never told Tiana she thought it was “ok” to hit a woman, although Tiana says differently. In other news: Christy McGinity Gibel lost in a car accident lawsuit brought against her in The People’s Court today. Whah?  

Very interesting times we’re living in with the ladies of LWLA, indeed. Now, on to the show! Terra Jole and Tonya Banks are washing their doggies at the pooch spa. Terra vents about her discussion with Briana and Matt at Elena Gant’s Little Palettes party. The conversation went something like this: Briana, do you want to reconcile with your family? (Terra and Christy) I’m fierce! (Briana). They are dead to us and will never meet their grandchildren! (Matt). So, it didn’t go well.    

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Tonya says Terra is “better helping a dog off the street” than helping Briana, and that “you can only help those who can help themselves.” Is Tonya kicking a$$ in the #TRUTH department lately or what!? Did she read some Deepak Chopra on her hiatus from the show and come back as Little Boss 2.0: Deep Dish Boss? Whatever she’s done, I am digging it! I’m also digging the fact that she’s about to serve up a heaping helping of hardcore advice to Briana later this episode, with a dash of pointing and screaming thrown in for good measure (because she is, after all, the same Tonya we know and sometimes love).

Meanwhile, Briana is forging her “strong family unit” with Matt and her daughter, Leiana, as mom and daughter color at the table while stepdad sexts d*ck pics chills on the couch. Briana and Matt snuggle up to feed each other’s mutual delusions about EVERYONE being out to get them! And ALL of Briana’s friends meddling in their pure, untainted love affair! And Tiana being the biggest turncoat EVER for accusing Matt of his obvious sociopath ways! Matt recites his line – again – about being done with Tiana forever and vows that he will never apologize to Briana’s parents. Other than that, he tells Briana he will “back her no matter what.” Huh? She’s Brokedown Bonnie to his Creepy Clyde, so these two are not reconciling with a lamp post let alone family members. Not. Gonna. Happen. 

Jasmine Sorge is over at her dad’s Mexican restaurant hoping to garner his help in finding her husband, Chris, some work. Jasmine’s dad is a self-made man, so Jasmine feels ashamed asking for his help, but he reassures her that he’s happy to do so. Chris can come work at the restaurant on weekends to get them over the hump until he can (hopefully) find a position with the railroad. Aww. Love that! 

Terra’s cat, Zeus, has apparently gone missing, so Christy is helping her make signs to post around the neighborhood. I am reminded of a time not long ago when I chased my own cat around the neighborhood after she escaped. I scaled neighbors’ fences – hootenanny style – rang doorbells, bawled my head off, only to return to my house in defeat hours later…where my cat was sleeping on the screened porch. Yes, I chased (and almost caught) my neighbor’s cat. Because I am an idiot/lunatic. Is it too much to wish this same fate on Terra? #Dreams!

Cats aside, Terra and Christy move on to the Briana/Matt situation. They’re both in disbelief about Matt saying he’d never let Briana’s parents meet their grandchildren. They also don’t believe how much Briana has changed since she’s been with Matt. She looks different, she acts different. And not in good ways. Terra suggests they get the gang together for some apple picking. Here’s hoping the absence of Matt’s Blue Shirt will allow Briana to speak for herself (even if she’s just spewing her memorized lines). 

Tonya’s love life has been on pause since Jaa broke up with her last year. Her ex – and the father of their daughter – Kerwin is the man Tonya’s been turning to in her hour of need. He’s always wanted to make it work with her, but she hasn’t been interested. These days, Kerwin ain’t lookin so shabby, I guess. Over Skype, Tonya straight up asks him if there’s a possibility of “working towards the future together.” Just one hitch: Kerwin sorta has a girlfriend. And Jaa is still friends and business partners with Tonya, which doesn’t sit well with Kerwin. He is open to coming to LA to talk more about possibilities though.

At Jasmine’s house, she’s cooking dinner while Chris and her son, Mason, hang out in the kitchen. Chris got a call from the railroad about some temporary work, but it’s out of state. Jasmine drops the bomb about asking her dad for help, but Chris isn’t sure how he feels about this. Being the sweet guy he is, Chris agrees to give it a try temporarily – if only for Jasmine and their son,

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Aw, naw! Little Boss got a GUN! How and why we just got transported to a firing range is beyond the scope of logic, but her we are. Tonya and Terra are here to take out their frustrations on some skeet. Even though the rifles are taller than both of them, the gals manage to shoot their targets. Yipee Yaw Yay! After that, they sit down to shoot the sh*t. Terra doesn’t think it’s smart for Tonya to rekindle things with Kerwin, but Tonya just wants some lovin’. And right now Kerwin, like Biz Markie, got what she neee-eeeeeds. 

We catch up next with Elena and her angelic husband, Preston, who is bringing her red roses. Just because. #RealityTVHubbyofTheYear! #TeamPrestonFoLife! #ComeTrainMyHusband! Preston is proud of Elena’s efforts with her makeup line, but Elena is still smarting over her beef with Jasmine (who she deliberately didn’t invite to her launch party). Jasmine not inviting her to the “mommy party” still doesn’t sit well with Elena, who thinks Jasmine is fake and untrustworthy. 

Ah, but the bigger issue surfaces: Elena is ready to have a baby. (And if rumors are correct, she is currently pregnant with twins!) Preston says the only thing a man should EVER say when told his wife is ready for a baby: “You’re going to be an awesome mom.” Whether Elena’s already pregnant at this point in filming is also suspect though, and may explain her irritation with being uninvited to the mommy party even more. Hmmm. 

Back at Jasmine’s, she’s cleaning out her closet with Briana. Jasmine is pleasantly surprised to hear that no one talked about her at Elena’s party. They had bigger D-bags to grill that night, as Briana reveals the shiznit that went down about Terra and Christy meeting up with Tiana regarding their “family issues.” Jasmine encourages Briana to mend fences with her family too. Finally! It’s about time Jasmine stop feeding the massive bonfire of delusion with her blind loyalty to Briana and Matt.

Briana argues that she has a “different kind of family” though – whatever that means – and she doesn’t see reconciliation in the future. Her parents are too controlling, she cries, and now her friends are attacking her without understanding the full picture. Ugh! Jasmine falls right into the melodramatic trap Briana is setting by supporting her “unconditionally” again and agreeing that the rest of the girls are simply haters. Fail. 

Christy and Todd are house hunting since Christy’s parents are pretty much permanently moving in with them. Christy’s mom, ever the charmer, notes that the outside of the house is “disgusting” and the inside of the house smells. The place is a bit dingy and dark, but the biggest issue is Todd: he can barely make it up the stairs without having a coronary event. Plus, they’re going to have issues with steps if they adopt a baby. Christy thinks Todd’s weight is a huge (no pun intended) issue, baby or no baby. And she’s probably right. 

It’s apple picking day! Jasmine tells Christy and Tonya she’s going to give Elena her space for now, but she hopes they can move past their issues today. Talk turns to Briana. Christy rehashes the convo from Elena’s party, which gets Tonya heated immediately. She doesn’t understand why Briana let’s her man control her, especially when it comes down to her issues with family. Jasmine is apparently “shocked” to hear Matt’s words about not letting Briana’s parents near his unborn children. Maybe she’s getting a better picture of who this dude is now?

Elena is a no-show for apple picking. Jasmine hopes it’s not because of her. But, yeah. It is. After Terra and Briana arrive, the gang rallies to go get their picking on anyway. They have fun with their picking sticks for awhile before Jasmine and Terra sidle off to the side for a chat. Terra warns Jasmine not to butt into Briana’s relationship with Matt too far because any friend who goes hence will see their friendship with Briana go up in flames. Jasmine, ever the sh*t stirrer (is she learning this from Terra, seasons 1-3?), vows to talk to Briana about Matt’s true feelings anyway. She’s convinced that her “softer approach” will win the day.

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The group cheers with some apple cider later, but the innocent moment is soiled before the first sip is even swallowed. Terra, of the Don’t-Hassle-Briana-About-Matt! camp, immediately calls Briana out about their last conversation at Elena’s party. As Briana’s purple highlights bleed on to her forehead (did Jasmine do this to her hair? WTH!?), she defends her right to stay disconnected from her family.

Tonya is sick of hearing this C-R-A-P, and tells Briana in no uncertain terms that she is letting Matt force a wedge between her family and her. She feels Briana is naive and easily manipulated. Yep. And that Briana isn’t going to understand her parents’ perspective until Leiana grows up and does this to her. Yep. (Oh, GOD! Let’s bow our heads in a quick prayer that Leiana never meets a Matt of her own, even if Briana does sort of deserve that twisted karmic payback!!!!)

“How DARE he!” Tonya asserts, “How dare you let him!” she emotionally continues, in reference to Matt’s Law of the Land when it comes to their (potential) kids’ relationship with Briana’s parents. Briana mumbles that “it wasn’t right” of Matt to say those words, but she can’t even begin to fight the righteously indignant Tonya that is – shockingly – totally on point with everything she’s throwing at Briana right now.

Tonya tells Briana she needs to lay down some of her own laws now. She’s gotta tell Matt that her family is important to her, period. They were there for her before Matt came into the picture. And they’ll be there when Matt leaves her, after the reality TV fame dries up. “You’re right,” Briana admits, even though she claims “F you” is really what she wants to say. Tonya pushes further: she wants an answer from Briana about reconciling with her family. And she wants it NOW. Briana finally says she’ll “think about it,” which is a helluva lot more than she’s been willing to say thus far.

After last season, I never thought I’d type these words, but: Thank you, Tonya Banks, for being the voice of reason!

TELL US: DO YOU THINK TONYA GOT THROUGH TO BRIANA? 

Photo Credit: Lifetime

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