Last night was the season premiere of Teen Mom 2. New season, new criminal charges against Jenelle Evans, new custody battle (this one with Nathan Griffin, the battle with Barbara Evans continues), and new lips. Leah Messer is anxiously waiting for the court to decide on Corey Simms’ custody petition, but it looks like Leah could use a break three nights a week and every other weekend. Chelsea Houska is probably too stable and happy for this show, but she provides a breath of fresh air after Jenelle and Leah segments. Meanwhile, Kailyn Lowry, Jo Rivera, and Vee Torres are trying to turn their co-parenting triangle into a square, but Javi Marroquin doesn’t want any part of that.
Do Jenelle’s lips really look good, or is it just that they look good compared to Farrah’s? Now if she could learn to keep them closed, that would be a real improvement! Speaking of improvement, or lack thereof, Jenelle hasn’t learned much from her previous encounters with the law and we find out she has been arrested AGAIN. This time for assault against Nathan’s new girlfriend Jessi, who looks like an older (tamer?) version of Jenelle. According to Jenelle, “the judge is gonna be like, ‘this is stupid.’” DUDE, all she did was throw water at the girl and the glass slipped! Likely story.
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Nathan calls Jenelle and asks when he can see Kaiser. Naturally, this turns into a screaming match. Nathan reminds Jenelle she’s facing a felony charge – she’s not, it’s a misdemeanor. I doubt Nathan knows the difference, but now Jenelle fears Jessi is pushing to have her misdemeanor escalated to a felony, so she Skypes her lawyer (attorney-client relationships goals). “No, Jenelle,” the lawyer assures, “the most you’re looking at is 30 days in jail.” In the past, a 30 day stint would have been no big deal for Jenelle, but now she’s trying to get a job in the medical field and this charge could ruin everything! Because the rest of her rap sheet is not a problem?
Cut to Kaiser screaming as Jenelle freaks out. To make matters worse, Jace spills a drink everywhere! When Babs shows up to get Jace, Jenelle, exhausted and at her wit’s end, is
completely relieved rude and intolerant. After being screamed at by Jenelle, Babs leaves in tears with Jace.
Nathan and Jessi got their own segment (hopefully the one and only) and Nathan looks douchier than ever with a fauxhawk. In a conversation that seems directed toward someone other than the viewers (A judge? Child protective services?), they recollect Jenelle’s attack on Jessi and express concern over Kaiser’s safety.
Leah is stressed out waiting for the court to rule on custody. At least she’s getting along with Jeremy Calvert and they are doing well co-parenting. The twins’ kindergarten is 45 minutes away and Leah struggles to get them there on time. The girls whine about being tired, cold, and hungry (where are Ali’s Lunchables?) while Leah drives looking half-dead and TEXTING. Leah, please do not text and drive EVER, but especially not with your kids in the car!!
She perks up later for brunch with her friend while Addie eats sugar packets. Leah complains how hard it is to get up so early, “sometimes I’m so sleepy I can’t stay awake.” She needs to get the kids to school on time because she’s worried Corey Simms will use it against her if she doesn’t. Corey will use it against her if she passes out driving and wrecks the car! And, according to Corey and Miranda, Leah has been absent and late to pick the girls up since the last custody hearing. Leah, just split custody and take a break; you look like you need one.
Leah, Corey, and Miranda all go to Columbus, Ohio, for Ali’s doctor’s appointment. The awkwardness is palpable, but no one argues. Corey and Leah tell the doctor that Ali is falling at least 5 times per day. The doctor explains that she’s still strong, but around 7 years old she will get weaker, and she needs to be using her power wheelchair. Everyone looks sad, especially little Ali, who writes in her coloring book “coreylea.”
Kailyn decided not to take Jo to court for child support and they’re getting along much better. Unfortunately, Kailyn and Javi seem distant. They don’t see each other Monday through Friday and barely talk. Catching up, Kailyn tells Javi she had a discussion with Jo and they’re trying to work things out, but Javi doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to be buddies with Jo, even though Jo’s son calls Javi dad.
Kailyn takes Isaac and Lincoln to the family photo shoot Jo and Vee had planned. Javi was a no-show; he’s not interested in this extended family. The photo shoot looks adorable and we see how sweet Isaac is to Lincoln. Afterward, Kailyn, Jo, Vee, and the boys go to dinner, but Javi refuses to go. “I just want to be at home,” he pouts, “I would appreciate it if you drop off Lincoln so I can be with one of my kids.” Javi thinks there is no reason for Lincoln to be there if Javi is not there. Kailyn looks ready to kill him.
At dinner, Kail, Jo, and Vee talk about co-parenting and hoping to turn their triangle into a square. Jo thinks a conversation between him, Vee, and Javi will help, but Kail is worried things will get worse. I’m with you, Kail.
It’s Aubree’s first day of kindergarten and Chelsea is beaming with pride. Cole Deboer is living with Chelsea and Aubree now and I think I detect a slight baby voice. Don’t do it, Cole! Chelsea’s great; Aubree’s great; Cole is great; Pete the pig is great; everything is fine and dandy. Even Adam Lind is showing signs of getting his life together. Yes, Adam showed up for Aubree’s first day of kindergarten, where Chelsea agreed to sit down and talk to him sometime about custody. She’ll never trust him though. “He’ll always be a pile.”
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Photo Credit: MTV