OK, Don’t Be Tardy fans, last night was all about getting a crash course in what it means to be a free agent in the NFL. In layman’s terms (if you’re Brielle, please Google what layman’s terms means before going any further) a free agent is a player who is not signed to one particular team. In short, a player who is on the market, playing the field, trying to get that next gig, like Tracey on Tinder.
Guiding us on this little lesson will be the ever-optimistic Kroy Biermann (our free agent) and his still-not-totally-on-board-but-says-she-is wife, Kim Zolciak Biermann, as they go to meet with Kroy’s agent, Buddy. Normally, Kroy not being signed to a team would be stressful but since Kim’s stroke, she looks at the unknown of free agency as one big adventure. Unless that adventure involves living in Green Bay. Or Buffalo (haha!). Or having to live in someone else’s house with their furniture and toilet (paging Teresa Guidice for some much needed foreshadowing).
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So not really one big adventure but one big list of demands. Close enough. Now before you go thinking Kim is being difficult, she will go to Tampa, Miami, or New York City to support Kroy and his dream.
I have to admit, I was in awe of how patient Buddy the Agent was while he sat through a lunch of Kroy looking unaffected and Kim pouting and trying to use brain power to understand what free agency is (it makes her dizzy). Buddy finally escapes from lunch, probably thrilled to be back on a plane to wherever he lives, maybe Green Bay or Buffalo.
In case you were wondering, Kroy isn’t the only one who is trying to figure out his next career move. Brielle is
selling Fit Tea on Instagram on the family payroll as Kim’s assistant, which sounds like possibly the worst job in the world, so good thing it’s not really a job, right? The downside to working for her mom? It doesn’t really leave her a lot of time to learn words like “quantify”, which Kroy gets roasted for even using in front of the likes of Kim and Brielle when trying to explain how his meeting went.
Just like any good millennial, Brielle thinks she deserves a raise and the time to ask is after Kroy explains the uncertainty of their family future. Nice work, Brielle.
But Brielle is concerned about this whole move thing so she talks to Ariana, who looks like she would rather be doing anything than entertaining Brielle’s concerns. Ariana has concerns of her own. Mainly, what if they are forced to move somewhere like Florida, with “lots of old people” or worse, somewhere that doesn’t have Chick Fil A? How will they eat? No seriously, she asks how will they eat.
Kim calls her Virtual Assistant, Ryan, who lives in Colorado but is on 24/7 for Kim. What is a Virtual Assistant you ask? It’s someone you call to do anything that needs to be done. So, not Brielle. Brielle is busy placing miscalculated Chick Fil A orders and posting her Kitchen Conversations with Tracey to Snapchat.
Ariana is working on her math homework (if you have five orders of value meals at Chick Fil A, how many drinks do you need to ask for?) when Kim and Kroy sit down to try and talk to her about their possible move if/when Kroy gets picked up by another team. Ariana doesn’t want to leave her friends and expertly points out that Kim doesn’t have any friends outside of Kroy, so this will be easy for her.
Kim tries to reassure Ariana she will do just fine in another school and finishes with a “believe in you” cherry on top. Ariana recognizes she is getting nowhere and lies to get rid of Kim and her bumper sticker approved words of advice. Ariana is my favorite. We all know how Kroy’s season plays out but for now, it is just fun to be along for the ride.
Photo Credit: Bravo