The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap: Let Them Eat Cake

Nobody puts Siggy Flicker in a corner, according to Siggy Flicker. The Real Housewives Of New Jersey star takes particular offense to Margaret Josephs trying to shut her down, especially because it was Siggy who “brought her in.” Jeesh – we’re only weeks into RHONJ, and alliances are already crumbling under the ladies’ feet like rickety boardwalk planks! Siggy breaks down her feelings on most of the group – except Dolores Catania – turning on her in Boca, and why she cannot be silenced.

Siggy complains, “Less than 48 hours after introducing Margaret to our group, I am being told how I should feel and what I can’t say. Margaret can’t pass up an opportunity to add fuel to the fire and cause division among my friends.” This “fire” was started by Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice getting into a food fight, which resulted in Siggy’s $1,000 custom-ordered cake being tossed on to the sidewalk.

While Margaret claims that Siggy and Dolores weren’t excluded from the beach memorial ritual on purpose, Siggy begs to differ. “She organized a memorial for Teresa’s mother, ordered a wreath and booked a paddle board instructor from my beach club—my private beach club—and never said a word to me. Me, the member of the beach club who sponsored the weekend. This means she used my name to get into my beach club to plan an event for people she met less than 48 hours earlier. Yet she wants us to believe it slipped her mind to tell me? And it slipped her mind to tell Dolores who has known Teresa and her mother since she was 16 years old? The memorial was not spontaneous. Its planning was premeditated and calculated.”

So just to be clear, not only is Boca Siggy’s town – the beach is hers too!!! Lord, almighty. We’ve got a live one here, folks! Siggy continues, “When Margaret was asked why she excluded Dolores and me from the memorial, she said she had no intention of excluding us, but the ceremony was for Teresa and Melissa, not Siggy and Dolores. Classic Margaret, she doesn’t apologize, she justifies.”

When Margaret and Dolores had a private conversation about Siggy at tennis, Dolores was #TeamSiggy all the way. Siggy accuses, “When Margaret asked Dolores if I was OK, it wasn’t out of concern for my well being, it was Margaret’s way of opening a dialogue to slam me with the only person in the group who wasn’t mocking my disappointment. If it was out of concern, Margaret would have shown some level of empathy for my feelings. Instead, Margaret’s response was to spew a prepared list of complaints about me that she felt required me to apologize. When Dolores made it clear that she wasn’t susceptible to Margaret’s ‘fake it till you make it’ brand of concern, Margaret resorted to labeling Dolores a mini Siggy. After all, how could anyone not agree with Margaret’s speed-date assessment of my character. It’s amazing how Margaret, the self-proclaimed feminist, can be so judgmental towards people she’s known for less than 48 hours.”

RELATED: Teresa Giudice Regrets That Dolores Catania And Siggy Flicker Were Excluded From Flower Ceremony

The drama didn’t end there, because when the ladies gathered at Siggy’s condo for dinner later, all hell broke loose. Siggy felt the tension rise as soon as Melissa, Teresa, Margaret, and Danielle Staub arrived. “The trip went to hell in a hand basket when the ladies arrived at my home for dinner. Melissa walked into my home, pointed to a wall of my photographs and declared them ‘all my personalities.’ Margaret chimed in to declare them to be a ‘shrine to Siggy.’ In reality, the photos are from a shoot that my husband lovingly presented to me as a gift.”

You know, this is essentially Siggy’s fatal flaw: She wants to put herself on public display, be “over the top,” act bold and brash – yet she wants to retain her fragile sensitivities to any perceived (or real) slight. You just can’t have it both ways. At least, not in Housewife Land. (Just ask Vicki Gunvalson!)

Still reeling from the cake incident, Siggy writes in her blog, “I needed to discuss it and clear the air. Each took their shots. Melissa was holding onto her belief that she was just having fun. Classic Margaret couldn’t wait to mock my sensitivity, call me Soggy and minimize my feelings. Teresa identified insults that she claims I made. I was so upset and babala (drunk) that I didn’t remember some of what Teresa was attributing to me.”

Melissa listed words that I must eliminate from my vocabulary immediately. According to Melissa, I can’t say ‘you’re acting like trash.’ I guess Melissa referencing multiple personalities or drug use is OK to say. I must remember that ‘you’re garbage’ is ok but ‘acting like trash’ is not allowed.”

But the person most offended by the word “trash” was Danielle, who freaked the frack out when she heard the T-word! Siggy complains, “Then the woman who froths at the mouth anytime she can spin the conversation into sex started screaming at me in my home, ‘Don’t f—ing use that word in my presence again!’ I’m sorry, come again? I never got the memo of what I can and cannot say in front of Danielle who I was just getting to know for the first time. Don’t you know when you try to shush me, I get louder? See what I did there?”

Again, Siggy reminds us that she made Margaret part of the group, and that the beach club is hers!!! “It was upsetting to hear Teresa say Dolores should have backed her when I couldn’t remember saying things at the flying cake party. Really? You joined a woman you just met against me and your decades long friend. Do you realize if you had said hey guys they’re my friends, this would have stopped on your ride to my beach club.”

Oh my. If this is any indication of the season to come, I’d say we’re in for quite a ride. Will Siggy survive it, though?

TELL US: IS SIGGY GOING TO HOLD ON TO THIS CAKE THING THE ENTIRE SEASON? SHOULD MARGARET SHOW MORE LOYALTY TO HER?

Photo Credit: Bravo

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