Southern Charm New Orleans Recap: Patron And Paint, Whine And Design

Oh Southern Charm New Orleans, we are back and ready for some drama. Last night’s episode did not disappoint, and I think the guys are much needed comic relief while the women fly off the handle in feeble attempts to whip their husbands into shape. I actually kind of like this show!

Tamica Lee and husband Barry Smith are cleaning up after their dinner party, and he finds the priestess’ incense to burn to increase their intimacy. Barry wonders how all of their friends know about their lack of sex life. Tamica plays dumb…she has no clue how that subject came up during the meal. She certainly isn’t sharing their lack of pillow talk with her friends. Outside of the city, Reagan and Jeff Charleston are walking their dogs, and Reagan wants her giant house in the suburbs as well as a pied-a-terre in the French Quarter. Jeff isn’t yet privy to the news that he won’t be joining his bride during stints in the city. Reagan is in her second year of law school, but she wants a flexible schedule so she can run her multiple businesses. #CraigLife Jeff is willing to support Reagan in any endeavor since she had his back when he was in the throes of his NFL career.

Sonny is Tamica’s younger brother, and he heads to his sister’s new house to hear all about the house-warming party. Tamica dishes on Gian’s crush on Barry. They are talking about working together, but Tamica isn’t worry about Barry. However, her former high school rival is another story. Tamica swears up and down that there is no jealousy when it comes to women fawning over her husband. If you don’t believe her, she’s happy to repeat it multiple times just in case you didn’t believe her the first time. Reagan and Jeff are doing a photo shoot to promote her growing jewelry line, but she’s stressed out due to her class schedule. Jeff is an incredibly supportive husband and dotes on Reagan and her business in hopes of showing his appreciation for Reagan’s earlier sacrifices. Jon Moody arrives to help model her wares, but he’s shaking his head at Jeff’s puppy dog routine with his wife. Jon wants Jeff to step up to the plate and mix things up a bit. Perhaps he should dye his hair black or murder some people. Did I hear that correctly?

Southern Charm New Orleans Recap: Patron And Paint, Whine And Design

Barry owns a gym where he also trains the clientele. Tamica calls, and Barry jokes that she only calls him when she’s sitting alone or walking alone and she feels awkward. Tamica only comes to the gym when she needs to pick up some extra cash–she doesn’t work out there. However, Barry appreciates what a great marketer she is for the gym, getting all of her friends to join. That evening, Jon is taking Jasmin out on something that is definitely not a date. They met in Chicago, and he wants to wine and dine her because he loves beautiful ladies. Jon asks Jasmin what she wants to do while visiting the Big Easy. She just wants to do more and see more…of Jon. She has no desire to hit up Bourbon Street. What Jasmin requests, Jon concedes. He can’t say no to a lovely Kylie Jenner wannabe, although he reminds himself that art is his only monogamous relationship. He mentions not being able to settle down until he has a cool $10 million consistently in his bank account. I need a paintbrush and a plan.

Southern Charm New Orleans Recap: Patron And Paint, Whine And Design

In the French Quarter, Reagan and Jeff are touring apartments. Reagan is excited to be closer to school, and Jeff is thrilled to be back in the heart of the city after spending a lot of time there while playing for the Saints. Reagan drops the bomb that this is going to be her home base during the school week, and Jeff looks like he just lost his ice cream cone to a shrieking seagull. Across town, Justin Reese is meeting Jon for a cocktail. He jokes that Jon is dressed like a 1990’s R&B singer in his tight ass turtleneck in the 80 degree weather. It’s by far the best line of the evening, but Jon can wear whatever he wants given those pecs and his immense talent. Jon will be treating his guy friends to a painting lesson. Justin is excited, although he’s incredibly confused by Jon’s Ark/Titanic and chicken/pig analogies. I don’t really get them either, but I like ’em.

Southern Charm New Orleans Recap: Patron And Paint, Whine And Design

Sonny started Son of a Saint which is a charity that mentors to preteen boys living in the inner city. He and Tamica’s father played for the Saints and died of a heart attack at a young age. At the board meeting for the organization, Tamica gives lots of side eye to fellow board member Gian. Gian wants to nominate Jon as SOAS’s man of the year. Tamica is very confused. Are Gian and Jon even friends? Gian clearly wants Tamica’s life…according to Tamica. In Covington, Jeff shares his disappointment with Reagan over getting the boot from the French Quarter apartment. He’s depressed about his mother’s alleged stealing of his fortune, and now his wife wants to move into town and leave him in the outskirts.

Jon loves a metaphor and hates a shirt. He’s hosting his married guy friends for a night of liquor and easels. Jeff welcomes the attraction, but he wonders about Jon’s motives. The party has no food, no chasers, just lots of alcohol. A man needs to eat. While the men are bonding, Tamica and Reagan are dining together for a much needed girls’ night. The women wonder about their spouses’ whereabouts because Jeff’s location isn’t available on Reagan’s phone. Tamica has a lot of opinions about Reagan’s new apartment. She thinks it is very weird and worrisome that Reagan seems to be distancing herself from Jeff. Reagan accuses Tamica of projecting. She and Jeff aren’t Tamica and Barry. Reagan isn’t going to leave Jeff just because Tamica once separated from Barry. Tamica explains her situation was different–it was years ago and she was suffering from postpartum depression. Reagan clarifies that their issues are different. She’s getting some space from Jeff so their marriage will remain intact. She’s not postpartum. She’s post graduate.

Southern Charm New Orleans Recap: Patron And Paint, Whine And Design

At Jon’s painting party, the men believe their subjects will be of the fruit variety, but they are wrong. Two very naked ladies position themselves in front of the painting posse, and the men’s jaws drop. Barry is concerned because he didn’t get his permission slip signed. Barry is focused on the models faces in his very abstract work, while Justin envies a career that involves looking at nude women all day. Jeff is so nervous and shaky, he knocks over his easel. I’m sure all the tequila shots probably didn’t help either. As the guys channel their inner Picasso, Jon welcomes a bevy of young ladies for a bigger party. Barry knows what’s up, and he quickly texts his wife to let her know the boys’ night has gone south.

Southern Charm New Orleans Recap: Patron And Paint, Whine And Design

Tamica grabs a traveler with the intent to kick Jon’s ass. Reagan is equally wasted pissed, but she shouldn’t worry. Jeff has spent the entire evening telling bored random ladies about his wife and happily married life. Tamica and Reagan bust into the party to scream at Jon. Tamica shames the single women who slowly trickle out the front door. Barry understands why Tamica is pissed, although she has absolutely no reason to be. Jeff wants to know why his wife believes he’s going to be tempted by another woman. Justin is mortified. He’s glad his girlfriend wasn’t tracking his location, but he also acknowledges that Barry and Jeff barely looked at the naked models when they were painting, much less paid any attention to the female party goers.

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DID TAMICA AND REAGAN HAVE A RIGHT TO BE PISSED AFTER THAT BOYS’ NIGHT WENT SIDEWAYS? 

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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