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 Real Housewives of Melbourne

G’day Real Housewives of Melbourne! Bravo is now airing season 1 of The Real Housewives of Melbourne, two episodes each Sunday.  This weekend they kicked off with episodes 1 & 2 and we have your recaps for both!  (ep 2 coming later today).  In episode one we get to know the Aussie Housewives – Lydia Schiavello, Andrea Moss, Jackie Gillies, Chyka Keebaugh, Janet Roach, and Gina Liano

First up is Lydia – she is married to an famous architect, Andrew. They visit their “snow house” (aka second home in the mountains) every weekend via private jet. She has 3 children and 3 stepchildren and they all get along really well.  She is studying interior design – so far so normal!  Oh, wait.  She tells us she wears the pants at home and Andrew wears the pants at work but when Andrew’s home she prefers to be in his pants.  No – ugh. It looks like Lydia will be the housewife that can’t stop talking about banging her husband (a la early days of Alex and Simon – GROSS).  Lydia also loves to spend money.  Just last weekend when she was on ski trip with Andrew she had to have to TRUCK deliver her mounds and mounds of shopping bags.  I have a feeling Lydia is all about money all the time and creepy sex-talk.  Eew.

Kim Kardashian on late-night talk show Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Kim Kardashian’s stylist loves to make a statement.  The jury is still out on what that statement IS exactly. 

Kim stepped out in yet another attention grabbing ensemble this week, stopping by Jimmy Kimmel for an interview tonight.   Kim once again showed that she doesn’t care what body type an outfit is designed for, she’s going to wear it

Mrs. West crammed herself into an outfit clearly made for a tall lanky supermodel type with a much smaller chest, slimmer hips and longer legs.  Kim was spilling out of the white bustier and that long teal ..um robe? dress that wouldn’t close? boxer’s robe? lingerie? silk blouse?  In any case, whatever it is, it clung to her rear end and hips in a most unflattering way.  And I can’t tell what color those pants are supposed to be.  In some photo sets they looked beige and in others they appeared as a light pink.  They made her legs look even shorter than they are.  

So, is Kim doing it on purpose for the attention it brings when she wears ill-fitting and/or plain old bad fashion? Or is she just completely unaware how to dress for her body type? A little of both?  It’s interesting because she looked better when she arrived at the studio – in just a pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt. 

Did you watch Kim’s interview tonight?  What was she promoting this time?

Update: Kim wrote on Instagram, “Tonight’s look- Ulyana Sergeenko.”

joe-gorga

Last night on Watch What Happens Live they shared this hilarious photo of Joe Gorga in his sister Teresa Giudice’s nurse costume and her hair because Joe had commented that they’d look like twins.  And it’s completely hysterical because they truly do! 

Joe shared the picture on Instagram this morning, writing “I’d say we’re two hot bitches! Lol #twins #rhonj.” 

 

Photo by Joe Gorga’s Instagram – via WWHL

 kris-jenner-kuwtk

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, we saw the final installment of the Thailand vacay. Kim Kardashian continues to believe kids are fashion accessories and momentarily contemplates taking a Thai orphan home. Brody Jenner puts his protective big brother panties on and Khloe Kardashian opens up more about the disaster she once called her marriage..

Things kick off with a group boxing session. Khloe may or may not be visualizing the instructor is Lamar’s cheating a$$. She is a machine. Everyone is impressed and applauds her strength. Brody and Kim feel Khloe should quit kicking the instructors a$$ and just tap his a$$ instead. Kim decides it’s her turn in the ring after all she wants people to clap for her too! Apparently she doesn’t like to get her hands dirty, and instead opts to ding the bell. Everybody claps Kim’s big achievement.

 BuKAXDTIUAAmoGN

On last night’s Game of Crowns, we take a week off from pageants to revisit some old drama: matching jumpsuits, death threats, and Lynne. And introduce some new drama: vow renewals, peace pipes, and Lynne.  

We pick up backstage at the Mrs. New England States pageant where a freshly crowned Vanassa Sebastian marches off to drag her husband Brian into the fray with Susanna Paliotta’s stylist, Anthony.  Reminder: Anthony sold Vanassa and Susanna the awful matching jumpsuits that caused a ruckus oh, I don’t know, a million years ago. The pageant director reminds Vanassa that she has a crown on her head, so she should STFU, but that ain’t gonna happen. Susanna’s eldest daughter Victoria gets involved and Susanna is a proud mommy. Meanwhile in another corner, Nick confronts Lynne Diamante about her accusation that he threatened to kill her. Lynne promptly ignores him and slithers away. Everyone parts ways after giving up/being asked to leave by official parties.

joe-melissa-gorga

Joe and Melissa Gorga were in Andy’s clubhouse to dish on tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  Joe and Melissa answered questions about everything from how much money they really put out for their new garbage company, whether they’re building that dream home yet and when we can expect a new Melissa Gorga album!  

Melissa on who she thinks was at fault in the fight between Amber Marchese and the twins: “I feel like Amber came in very strong, but I know Nicole pulled the first hair. I feel like they both equally…  I don’t think anyone should put their hands on anyone, that I will say.”

On the new house, the Gorgas say they just started building  the new one.  And Melissa wanted to make it clear that she does like the rental house they’re in.  Interesting since she says she’s moving back to Montville..

kandi-burruss-todd-tucker

Newlywed Kandi Burruss is spoiling her husband Todd Tucker for his birthday!  The Real Housewives of Atlanta start bought him a brand new Corvette! 

Kandi showed off Todd’s new toy on Instagram.  She shared, “Happy Birthday to my love @todd167!!!!! I love you babe! His bday is Monday August 4th but we’re celebrating all weekend! #stingray #corvette #MadeInTheUSA #HeLovesHisGift I’m a good wife!”

It’s a generous gift and one that will probably send Mama Joyce into a tizzy over!  Crossing my fingers that the cameras were rolling for it! 

TELL US – IS KANDI BEING OVERLY GENEROUS? WHAT WILL MAMA JOYCE HAVE TO SAY? AND…HOW JEALOUS WILL PETER THOMAS BE!?

 

Photo Credit: Instagram

kim-kardashian-birthday-ricardo

Kim Kardashian seems to be incapable of letting anyone be the center of attention and have a moment in the sun.  Today the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star posted this photo of herself basically naked, wearing only pantyhose, with her wedding veil held over her head by some peasants. 

You’d think this photo had something to do with Kim showing off more pictures from her wedding.  But it isn’t.  It’s actually a Happy Birthday message for Kanye West’s BFF Riccardo Tisci.  Yeah, the two things go together and make perfect sense, right? 

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