It’s Go Time! This week’s Real Housewives Of New York picks up right where we left off – in the Hamptons at Ramona Singer’s home, with Dorinda Medley poised to pounce on Sonja Morgan. And pounce, she does. She does NOT make it nice. No, no, no. And Ramona couldn’t be happier (or more Pinot’d up) that she gets to host the party that will launch a thousand storylines this season. Ramona isn’t so happy later on when Carole Radziwill un-invites her to her election party, though. This week also marks the emergence of Tinsley Mortimer out from under Sonja’s tattered wing when she sneaks out for dinner with Luann De Lesseps and Dorinda – but fails to invite her benefactress along! Oh, I could just pinch myself with delight at the Jane Austen-ness of the whole Tinsley/Sonja tableau! It’s just…delicious.
As Sonja and Tinsley stroll into the party, Tinsley is nervous to meet Dorinda. But there’s no need! Because after double kisses with Luann, Dorinda plays nice with Tinsley, trading small talk about how it’s going living at Sonja’s Socialite Rehabilitation Center. But Tinsley goes deep fast, revealing her messy past – then instantly regretting the word vomit. Dorinda’s like, Who cares? I see a limping gazelle strolling through the weeds… She’s got her sights set on Sonja, and only Sonja, tonight.
In her blog, Dorinda also recaps last week’s antics, which included Ramona questioning Bethenny Frankel about a decades-old horror flick in which she appeared nude. Or, as Ramona calls it: soft core porn. But first, Dorinda explains her sleeping arrangements in the Hamptons. “I am being pulled between staying with Luann [De Lesseps]and staying with Ramona, so I decided to split the weekend and stay with both. I was happy to finally see Lu’s newly renovated home, and it is gorgeous. It is exactly what you want a beach house to be—cozy, updated and with a view of the water. What more could a girl ask for?”
Alpha female Gizelle Bryant came out swinging with new cast mate, Monique Samuels. But now the Real Housewives Of Potomac star says she is letting her initial reservations about Monique’s “bragging” go – although she’s still side-eyeing the NBA wife and mom. As for Ashley Darby wanting to meet Charrisse Jordan’s estranged husband, Eddie, at their daughter’s sweet sixteen party, Gizelle understands. I mean, this dude has been the invisible secret hanging over Charrisse’s life for over a year now. People want proof that he actually exists!
Before breaking down her thoughts on the ladies, Gizelle comments on her mom – and her mom’s mad love for Gizelle’s current squeeze, Kevin. “I’m very happy that my mother likes a man that I’m interested in, but I think her love for Kevin is a bit much. Looking at how excited they are about seeing each other reminds me of the movie, How Stella Got Her Grove Back. Is Kevin’s real name Winston?”
New gal Mary Russell has officially inserted herself into the hornet’s nest of Little Women: LA this season, becoming the newest cast member to cause strife and friction among a group of women who already need deep, prolonged therapy. As Mary holds auditions for her fashion show this week, Elena Gant continues to get her nose out of joint about Mary’s “authenticity” – or, more likely, her success. Which Elena clearly resents, given her own fashion line failure. Terra Jole can’t help but be caught in the middle of her two warring friends – just the way she likes it! But at least Briana Renee doesn’t strip down to her skivvies again. And for that, we give thanks.
We begin with Elena and Jasmine Sorge having lunch. They’ve come so far as mommies dishing about babies now instead of enemies dishing about each other. Both seem grateful for that growth. But Elena has a new target in her sights: Mary, who she sorta-kinda made up with at the Sex Expo, but who she apparently still hates. Because, jealousy is hard. Jasmine’s anger is focused on Briana, who called her out for being “up Terra’s a$$” last week. Finally seeing Briana for the crap friend she is, Jasmine is thiiiiiiiis close to closing the Briana and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer] chapter forever. Which will leave Briana with a grand total of zero friends. And her own head up her a$$, where it generally prefers to reside.
In her blog this week, Terra Jole offers her thoughts on the latest episode of Little Women: LA. In particular, Terra makes a plug for the newest addition to the group (and possibly, a permanent addition to the cast?), Mary – who Elena Gant and Tonya Banksterrorized did not initially warm to. Terra also takes a moment to react to Briana Renee’s “boudoir photo shoot,” which she says was ruined by hubby Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer]’s leering, slobbering commentary.
Terra begins by joking, “With typical Little Women antics at an all-time high, and hearts healing at an all-time low, it’s been a real rollercoaster. For this episode, every time you hear the words ‘fashion line,’ it’s drinking time!”
We open with the ladies settling in to their respective Hamptons homes – Carole Radziwill is bunking at Bethenny Frankel’s Skinnygirl pad, Dorinda is staying at Luann De Lesseps’ house, Ramona is chillin’ at her abode because no one can abide her, and Sonja has somehow convinced unnamed “friends” to lend their house to Tinsley and her for the weekend (which they’ll arrive at the following day). Bethenny is hoping Carole can cool her jets on the election talk, while Luann is showing Dorinda how to literally cool her nether-regions on her super fancy crapper. “It’s the Cadillac of toilets!” squeals the soon to be ex-Countess.
Good viewers, I regret to inform you that we will be subjected to reliving a moment that no one should have to suffer through twice in this recap today – the “boudoir photo shoot” that Briana Renee and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer] thought was a brilliant idea. This week, Little Women: LA also brought us an extended version of Terra Jole’s argument with Briana, and bonus footage of new gal, Mary, who Elena Gant decides to haze. But all is not lost! For Terra takes the group on a dildo tour.
We pick up at tequila tasting, where Terra and Briana are going at it over the women’s march – but really, their issues go about 62 floors deeper than that. Briana has a nasty habit of being cool to your face, and very uncool behind your back. And Terra’s not here for it anymore. Jasmine Sorge isn’t either, it turns out, as she jumps in with questions about Briana “stealing” Terra’s manager. Jasmine isn’t drinking the Terra Kool Aid, as Briana surmises, as much as she’s seeing the light after how dirty Briana did her friend Lisa (because it was Lisa’s fault Matt was sending her inappropriate texts, remember?).
“So we finally get to meet the new girl—oh wait, I don’t. But before I get there, let me talk about a few other things,” snarks Dorinda in her blog. “Hannah has decided to move out. It took a long time for Hannah and I to heal after Richard’s death. She decided to move back in with me, and I decided to mother her as much as I could during the aftermath of his death. It was the best decision for both of us, but now after five years she has decided it’s time to move out and get her own apartment. I am happy to say it’s in NYC and not too far away.”