Our deepest apologies to the people of Iceland for whatever epic disaster ensued when The Real Housewives Of Orange County descended upon their fair country. For viewers at home, the trip is just beginning though! And Lydia McLaughlin is pretending to be excited about the adventures awaiting them. She’s also making sure to plug her magazine a whole lot, as it’s the impetus for the trip (in theory).
Lydia gushes, “This week’s episode we gear up for Iceland! We get offered a lot of press trips because of NOBLEMAN Magazine, so when we were offered a trip to Iceland we had to make it happen. I have heard so much about Iceland and seen so many great photos. Doug was too busy with our upcoming deadline so I was excited to go represent for NOBLEMAN. We figured if we like it, we could send a writer and photographer and do a big feature for NOBLEMAN.” Hey, you guys – did you catch the name of Lydia and Doug’s magazine? It’s NOBLEMAN!!!
It’s Monday morning, so you know what time it is! Time to grab that cup of coffee and relish in the fact that you are not one of the poor souls featured on 90 Day Fiance. This week, we meet Josh and Aika, who is giving me strong whiffs of Anfisa with her expectations and no-nonsense talk of Josh “providing” for her. Molly’s bartender-fiance, Luis, arrives from the Dominican Republic, much to the chagrin of Molly’s eldest daughter, Olivia. Bonus: Luis wastes no time in calling his bride-to-be “chubby.” He’s a smooth talker, this one.
Nicole and Mayspend their first days in Morocco with Azan. And I need TLC camera crews to have eyes on that sweet baby AT ALL TIMES! Because they are the only thing standing between her and disaster. For real. Elizabeth gets ready to travel to Ireland to meet her bad-news boyfriend, Andrei (that is, if he can tear himself away from dancing IG live sessions). Lastly, teenage bride Evelyn welcomes David to New Hampshire, deciding to scare the sh*t out of him with her terrible driving right away while her dad sits in the backseat, praying. David will be thrilled to know that he is being dropped off at a creepy pastor’s house right after this! (Note: No update on Thailand David and Annie this week. He’s probably busy scraping sidewalks for loose change to buy a half-dead ox or something…)
Do you know how I know that my love for Flipping Out runs deep? I am always rooting for everyone on this show, including the incorrigible Jeff Lewis, even when they are being evil a$$holes. Okay, when Jeff is being an evil a$$hole. But, seriously! I want the best for him – for all of them. (And of course, I want him to throw out all of my husband’s hideous college sh*t and redecorate my house from scratch, but I’ll have to settle for living vicariously through his clients for now.)
Last night’s finale, aptly titled “Full Circle,” brought us to the end of Flipping Out’s most intense season yet. A baby changes everything, and it certainly changed the lives of everyone on this show, most notably Gage Edward’s and Jeff’s. The nightmare of parenting a colicky infant, the revolving door of nannies, and losing beloved staff along the way all took a toll on the new fathers. But it’s a new day at Jeff Lewis Design! And with (a much calmer) 10-month old Monroe getting baptized and sitting for her first professional photo shoot, they can finally celebrate making it through the storm. So, cheers, papas! (Warning: This recap will contain a sh*t-ton of photos because, well, there was a baby photo shoot!And a baptism! And, come on! It’s basically cuteness overload, folks.)
It seems we must face facts this season on The Real Housewives Of New Jersey: Siggy Flicker has decided this is her “moment” and she’s making sure everyone knows it, especially Margaret Josephs. But Margaret isn’t one to back off when Siggy huffs and puffs that she’ll pull her pigtails out! No, no, no. She came to PLAY, and I’m loving her for it. Margaret also shows us a peek into her wacky world of Claire’s Boutique inventory when she throws a launch party for her bag line, which Siggy and Dolores Catania refuse to attend. Call Siggy’s crab cakes salty, will they? Hmmph! She’ll be eating them alone from now on, then. In pigtails!
Last night began with the ladies at home after a drama-filled Boca vaycay. Melissa Gorga’s birthday cake was not able to make the trip home because – just in case anyone in the tri-state area hasn’t heard yet – Teresa Giudice threw that sh*t on the ground. (R.I.P. $1K cake!) Siggy is, by the way, still not over it – not by a long shot. The town of Boca Raton is very much over Siggy, though, I’d imagine.
LeeAnne Locken is coming for Cary Deuber, even though no one sent for her! And with The Real Housewives Of Dallas finale just around the corner, Cary is in full damage control mode about the allegations Brandi Redmond and LeeAnne are making about her husband, Mark. Cary defends her role as the “babysitter” for Mark’s children with his ex-wife, as well as accusations that she and Mark had an affair before divorced from their former spouses.
Cary describes telling Mark about LeeAnne gossiping about his, um, alleged social activities at The Roundup – and her own gossip about LeeAnne’s fiance, Rich. “I was dreading telling Mark about the negative things that were said about him and Rich — both of them. I was disappointed in myself for sinking to LeeAnne’s level to take a swing at a spouse; while I was ashamed to admit to Mark what I said, I was relieved to have it off my chest with the group and with Mark. What stung even worse, though, was having to tell my husband that the same hateful rumors about him were STILL being spread by the same Two-Faced Texan who had promised to turn over a new leaf last year.”
Nobody puts Siggy Flicker in a corner, according to Siggy Flicker. The Real Housewives Of New Jersey star takes particular offense to Margaret Josephs trying to shut her down, especially because it was Siggy who “brought her in.” Jeesh – we’re only weeks into RHONJ, and alliances are already crumbling under the ladies’ feet like rickety boardwalk planks! Siggy breaks down her feelings on most of the group – except Dolores Catania – turning on her in Boca, and why she cannot be silenced.
Is it just plain naive to think that one couple on the train wreck of 90 Day Fiance could really, truly make it? Because I want that for Evelyn and David, young lovebirds who seem smitten with one another, are (somewhat) age-appropriately matched, and who share core values. Alas, the TLC machine might chew them up and spit them out by the end of season five, but until then, let’s pretend they are the real deal, okay? We need this!
In addition to Evelyn and David being introduced this week, we revisit the absolute sh*tshow of everyone else’s relationships. Nicoleholds her daughter hostage goes to Morocco to further torture Azan, the other David (in Thailand) tries in vain to come up with enough scratch to pay for his bride, Annie. And Molly continues to delude herself into thinking that her much-younger fiance, Luis, is the love of her life – despite her eldest daughter’s protestations, not to mention her father’s warnings.
Teresa doesn’t think Siggy’s dramatics over the cake throwing incident were warranted, but she really got her drawers in a twist over Siggy calling MelissaGorga and her “animals.” She explains, “This episode started out with the aftermath of ‘Cake-Gate.’ I really wasn’t happy watching as Siggy called Melissa and I ‘animals.’ Just like Siggy thought us throwing the cake was in poor taste, I thought what she said about us was also in poor taste.”