Let’s just state it plainly: Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer] is THE WORST. And Briana Renee is pathetic. Last night’s Little Women: LA revisited both of these long-held truths as Matt was once again caught cheating, this time with a guest in the very same Alaskan hotel his wife was sleeping in several floors up. Terra Jole is delighted to have the heat taken off of her, given the ridiculous tantrum she had last week over Christy McGinity Gibel existing. But she is at least confronted about her bullying ways before the story shifts entirely in Matt’s disgusting direction. So, are we taking votes on who’s the most vile now? (I will always and forever be casting my vote for Matt’s – it’s a matter of principle at this point! I cannot take him smarming up my damn screen for one more minute!)
We begin by reliving Terra’s meltdown, which no one should really have to witness twice. After Tonya Banks practically tries to tackle her into submission and Jasmine tells her to “calm the f**k down!,” Terra finally stops screaming long enough to get back down the mountain. But she wants to remind everyone that Christy is “FAKE FAKE FAKE!” before she stomps off. No one cares anymore, though. Especially since they know what this is all about: Christy not signing Terra’s book release.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New York, Carole Radziwill and Dorinda Medley take it to the streets, heading to D.C. for the Women’s March, while back in NYC Ramona Singer shellacs her hair back in a tragic Blonde-Ambition-meets-Pinot-and-Ambien look and throws a party with the shadiest guest list she can summon. Ramona’s informant friend Missy, who accused Tom D’Agostino of snogging her in a limo while concurrently being engaged to Luann De Lesseps, is resurrected from her UES cryogenic chamber for the evening to confront the recently married couple. Meanwhile, Tinsley Mortimer continues planning her escape, and Sonja Morgan tries to understand what the hell Frenchie is saying.
We begin with Tinsley and Carole meeting for lunch, where they break Tinsley’s sad situation down: She’s living with an oppressive tyrant and needs to move out. Her mom is coming into town to help her apartment hunt, in fact. Carole and Tinsley were also invited to the Winter Botanical Garden, which solidified them as new “pals” in the social rags. It also helped Tinsley’s socialite comeback tour, which she still sadly imagines is real.
In her blog, Karen calls out Charrisse’s lies, explains how her move went (but still withholds details), and comments on Ashley’s accusations about her financial status. First, Karen says Charrisse lied about the gift baskets Karen sent to everyone’s rooms in order to make a big stink about it on camera. “Can someone please roll back the tape? Charrisse knew about the gift baskets and she knew she would be receiving one from me as well. Charrisse’s speech to the girls in the hallway was yet another lie she told just to manipulate and mislead the girls.”
Terra knows she’s not the most popular person right now, commenting, “This episode is borderline nuts … or maybe I am. Surely my inbox will see more hate mail after this episode and I’m okay with that. Opinions about the show are fun to read until they are hurtful towards your children.”
Bethenny breaks down her thoughts on this week’s episode, which she says was certainly easier to live through than last. “Well, this week was a little lighter,” she comments. “If I can host a party where Dorinda Medley experiences ‘just the tip’ and Carole Radziwill swigs from a luge, then my holiday work is done.” Bethenny’s marketing and sales work is done too, I assume, as that holiday party obviously was one giant Skinnygirl commercial.
But first we begin at Briana Renee and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer’s] house, where they’re fretting over baby Maverick’s sleep issues. He doesn’t have sleep apnea, but he does need extra oxygen at night – which is tough to do with a clunky mask. Luckily, Briana’s anxiety has lessened. But now she feels bullied by the girls, who almost all piled on her about her – um – funky smell. (Gah! Again, are we really witnessing this nightmare on TV?!?!) Briana says that Terra is the main bully, but the others aren’t far behind. Only Jasmine Sorge has her back. Matt flexes his douchiness muscles, begging Briana to let him “unleash” on them. “Take the handcuffs off me and let me tell them how it is!” he demands. Briana dumbly shrugs, secretly loving the idea of a Big Matt Attack.
After months of deflection, derailment, and Tom D’Agostino’s devilish doings, Countess Luann de Lesseps finally married the man who offers her the lifestyle of her dreams. Yes, Mrs. Luann D’Agostino is now a commoner! Jet setting to Palm Beach, vacationing in Aspen, lolling around the balcony of her Manhattan penthouse wondering whether she should eat another peeled grape. In short, she’s just like us! If we were filthy rich and married to questionable dudes. But the ladies of The Real Housewives Of New York aren’t quite done questioning Luann’s every move, and they have another chance to openly gawk at her happiness when she invites them to a post-wedding celebration.
Speaking of parties, Bethenny Frankel hosts one of her own – but guess who’s not invited? Okay, we all know it’s Ramona Singer. Because homegirl went NUCLEAR last week in the Berkshires and is persona non grata to both Bethenny and Dorinda Medley now. Poor Dorinda is still resurrecting her house from the Ramonsoon that all but destroyed the joint, not to mention Sonja Morgan jacking her PJ’s in broad daylight! There’s also moving afoot. As in: Adam moving out of Carole Radziwill’slitterbox apartment, and Frenchie moving into Sonja’s townhouse. Tinsley Mortimer, as always, is left pondering the life choices that brought her to this tragic rung on the downwardly mobile socialite ladder.
“Karen sending a gift basket from her is typical Karen,” snarks Charrisse of the welcome gifts Karen left in all of the ladies’ rooms. “Her tricks never surprise me. Let Karen do whatever she needs to do to make herself feel a sense of relevance. Poor thing, I feel sorry that she needs to go through such measures so that she can feel above me.”