Last night's Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was all about pee pee pictures and repentance…with lots of freeloading thrown in for good measure. Let's get to dissecting that craziness, shall we?
Oh gracious. Kylie Redd and the purple haired girl Kalenna pick up Rasheeda in a van en route to New Orleans. The ladies are ready to drink and twerk and Kirk Frost looks a bit bewildered as he's left to deal with Karter, his mother-in-law, and his growing Adam's apple. Once the road trip begins, Rasheeda wants to hear all about Karlie being kicked out of Benzino's new club. Karlie retracts her statement that she liked the Zeen's tiny peen after he accused her missing it. She'll take Yung Joc's kielbasa sausage over Zino's little Vienna wiener any day of the week. To prove her point, Karlie has requested a "d" pic from her current man…and his permission to post it in all his glory side-by-side with Zino's for a size comparison. Who does this stuff? I mean, really?
I don't know why TLC and ABC didn't think to make last night's episode of Sister Wives as a crossover with Shark Tank. Can you imagine Daymond John or Mark Cuban reacting to Kody Brown's hair and Robyn's whining as they pitched My Sister Wives' Closet? Christine could model the jewelry wearing her finest medieval garb! What a missed opportunity!
The wives are working on a business plan because apparently showing up and just asking for money doesn't work with venture capitalists…they like presentations. It's crazy that rich people won't just give out money to tacky online jewelry boutiques!? Robyn and Kodi are rocking denim tuxedos and whining about goals and differences and hopes and dreams and teamwork. Meri complains, and Janelle is the only one with any sense of vision, organization, and focus. Shocking. Why is she still here? Run, Janelle, run! We'd all support you! Kody decides the family should take a day to figure out where to go from here, which is a great idea considering they have to pitch themselves and their business in twenty days. I love that the two people who claim to be the most invested in this company are the two biggest procrastinators in the Brown bunch.
And this is why you don't mess with Ramona Singer. I kid, I kid, but the Real Housewives of New York star is still embroiled in all the craziness of her husband's "alleged" affair with a girl named Kasey Dexter. And Kasey is all about making sure that everyone knows what a dog Mario Singer has been in the meantime. Can you blame her?
Ramona and Mario are all about presenting a united front when it comes to denying Mario's extra-curricular relationship. Unfortunately for Mario, his paramour didn't get the memo.
Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! So what you're about to read has got to be one of the most far-fetched and ridiculous things I've ever heard, until you realize it's about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, and ridiculousness for these two is any given Tuesday. It would actually be more far-fetched to hear about them doing something normal…like grocery shopping, or volunteering, or, I don't know, staying out of the public eye for a quick minute.
Sadly, we all know that will never happen. Ever. So, in the meantime, let's discuss North West'sfirst birthday, shall we? It's today. Happy birthday, kid. Use those candles to wish for a tiny bit of normalcy, to never be dressed by your father, and that genetics don't curse you with your mother's ass.
While I am beyond thankful that Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy have finally come to a custody agreement regarding daughter Bryn, there seems to be no end in sight when it comes to finalizing their divorce. I am not at all shocked, as it seems these two are out for blood. Yawn.
The pair first filed for divorce in January of 2013, so it's been well over a year that these two have been fighting. The alleged main issue? Jason wanting a pretty penny for helping build Bethenny's Skinnygirl empire.
Y'all, I'm having an off week. It's the only way to explain my utter shock when watching a preview clip for Paul Nassif and Terry Dubrow's new plastic surgery show. I've read about it. Hell, I've written about it! It's titled BOTCHED for crying out loud! I can't exactly say I didn't know the premise of the pair's new endeavor!
Alas, my tolerance for creepy isn't what it used to be in my younger days, and I could barely stomach the bad plastic surgery. How does this even happen? I am sure the stories will be sad and the Bravolebrities past and present will nip, tuck, and repair these folks, resulting in a heartwarming and tearful reveal, but yikes! I guess I didn't realize how many ladies (and gents!) out there actually strive to look like a feline! Although now that you mention it, Adrienne Maloof WAS married to Paul…
That said, I will certainly be watching Botched when it premieres on E! later this month. I may be watching with one hand over my eyes, but I'll be watching nonetheless!
I swear, if they're not arguing about chairs, the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County can find something equally as benign to bitch about–like gym promotions! Look, I understand why Tamra Judge wanted to be mad at Heather Dubrow for not offering up a CUT Fitness segment on her previous stint as a guest host on Good Day LA, but I don't really think that Heather had any pull regarding the situation. I'm not even a Heather fan this season (what happened?!?), but both women agree that Heather called her to fill her in on the situation when it happened, and Heather tried to rectify things–and promote CUT!–when given the opportunity. These women will complain about anything…and try to stir up drama at every turn. Lizzie Rovsek clearly learned that from watching past seasons…what was she trying to pull on Monday's episode?
Taking to her Bravo blog, Tamra begins, "Good Day L.A…. Let me tell you why I was so upset since you did not hear the whole story. Last summer I got a text from Heather saying she was going to co-host GDLA and wanted me to know that GDLA was bringing on another fitness studio and she had NOTHING to do with it. I said 'No worries' and thanked her for letting me know. I know there are a lot of gyms/fitness studios out there. A week later I see the segment on GDLA and they have the fitness studio SHE works out at (50 miles away from GDLA studio), HER chef and HER clothier on the same segment. So I thought to myself, 'REALLY, Heather, you had NO input, however all the guests were people you deal with directly?' My feelings were hurt!"
We've got a situation here. I blame people's awareness on how harmful UV rays are…and that's a positive. The only good summer color comes from a bottle that may or may not turn your ankles and palms orange. But isn't orange the way the kids from Jersey Shore taught us how to roll?
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino and crew took take pride in having a skin tones that rival that of an Oompah Loompah, so it's no surprise that post-reality show fame, Sitch has attempted to capitalize on the GTL lifestyle that made him a household name. Unfortunately for the employees of his tanning salon, things haven't been so rosy.