Well, it's official! Abby Lee Miller is engaged. RT, dibs on recapping the Dance Moms spin-off that's sure to surround planning her big day! After months of speculation and vast amounts of Twitter love thrown back and forth, the villainous star of Lifetime's hit has confirmed that, yes, she is in fact betrothed to Michael Padula.
Wait, who? Well, according to his Twitter, Michael is an Italian actor, "voiceover king," and TV host who has a penchant for tweeting–and retweeting–all things Dance Moms. If I didn't know better, I'd say the handsome(ish) mystery man was just a major super fan…until I came across tweets about how beautiful Abby is even when her hair is up in a towel and how much he loves her.
Ahhh, the rite of passage known as one's twenty-first birthday. I remember mine fondly. After all, it was just a couple decades years ago (around the same time Evelyn Lozada celebrated hers). I had a Spanish final exam the morning of my birthday, so none of that hitting the bars at the stroke of midnight the night before…oh no, I just had to start the festivities at lunch on the big day. And talk about stylish! I was sporting a turtleneck, Pilgrim shoes, and high-waisted jeans (how they are making a second round in fashion is beyond me), and damn did I look good as I hit up all the classiest joints Clemson had to offer in the late '90s. I'd say my twenty-first birthday was almost–ALMOST–as over-the-top as Evelyn's night out for daughter Shaniece Hairston…except I didn't get a Benz…and I still can't look at butterscotch Schnapps.
Over the weekend, Shaniece was treated to a major time in Vegas this past weekend courtesy of her mother's new fiance generosity. She was even gifted a Mercedes Benz G550. Every twenty-one-year-old should learn about the responsibilities of adulthood by driving a car worth well over $100K, right?
Last night's Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was all about pee pee pictures and repentance…with lots of freeloading thrown in for good measure. Let's get to dissecting that craziness, shall we?
Oh gracious. Kylie Redd and the purple haired girl Kalenna pick up Rasheeda in a van en route to New Orleans. The ladies are ready to drink and twerk and Kirk Frost looks a bit bewildered as he's left to deal with Karter, his mother-in-law, and his growing Adam's apple. Once the road trip begins, Rasheeda wants to hear all about Karlie being kicked out of Benzino's new club. Karlie retracts her statement that she liked the Zeen's tiny peen after he accused her missing it. She'll take Yung Joc's kielbasa sausage over Zino's little Vienna wiener any day of the week. To prove her point, Karlie has requested a "d" pic from her current man…and his permission to post it in all his glory side-by-side with Zino's for a size comparison. Who does this stuff? I mean, really?
I don't know why TLC and ABC didn't think to make last night's episode of Sister Wives as a crossover with Shark Tank. Can you imagine Daymond John or Mark Cuban reacting to Kody Brown's hair and Robyn's whining as they pitched My Sister Wives' Closet? Christine could model the jewelry wearing her finest medieval garb! What a missed opportunity!
The wives are working on a business plan because apparently showing up and just asking for money doesn't work with venture capitalists…they like presentations. It's crazy that rich people won't just give out money to tacky online jewelry boutiques!? Robyn and Kodi are rocking denim tuxedos and whining about goals and differences and hopes and dreams and teamwork. Meri complains, and Janelle is the only one with any sense of vision, organization, and focus. Shocking. Why is she still here? Run, Janelle, run! We'd all support you! Kody decides the family should take a day to figure out where to go from here, which is a great idea considering they have to pitch themselves and their business in twenty days. I love that the two people who claim to be the most invested in this company are the two biggest procrastinators in the Brown bunch.
And this is why you don't mess with Ramona Singer. I kid, I kid, but the Real Housewives of New York star is still embroiled in all the craziness of her husband's "alleged" affair with a girl named Kasey Dexter. And Kasey is all about making sure that everyone knows what a dog Mario Singer has been in the meantime. Can you blame her?
Ramona and Mario are all about presenting a united front when it comes to denying Mario's extra-curricular relationship. Unfortunately for Mario, his paramour didn't get the memo.
Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there! So what you're about to read has got to be one of the most far-fetched and ridiculous things I've ever heard, until you realize it's about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, and ridiculousness for these two is any given Tuesday. It would actually be more far-fetched to hear about them doing something normal…like grocery shopping, or volunteering, or, I don't know, staying out of the public eye for a quick minute.
Sadly, we all know that will never happen. Ever. So, in the meantime, let's discuss North West'sfirst birthday, shall we? It's today. Happy birthday, kid. Use those candles to wish for a tiny bit of normalcy, to never be dressed by your father, and that genetics don't curse you with your mother's ass.
While I am beyond thankful that Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy have finally come to a custody agreement regarding daughter Bryn, there seems to be no end in sight when it comes to finalizing their divorce. I am not at all shocked, as it seems these two are out for blood. Yawn.
The pair first filed for divorce in January of 2013, so it's been well over a year that these two have been fighting. The alleged main issue? Jason wanting a pretty penny for helping build Bethenny's Skinnygirl empire.
Y'all, I'm having an off week. It's the only way to explain my utter shock when watching a preview clip for Paul Nassif and Terry Dubrow's new plastic surgery show. I've read about it. Hell, I've written about it! It's titled BOTCHED for crying out loud! I can't exactly say I didn't know the premise of the pair's new endeavor!
Alas, my tolerance for creepy isn't what it used to be in my younger days, and I could barely stomach the bad plastic surgery. How does this even happen? I am sure the stories will be sad and the Bravolebrities past and present will nip, tuck, and repair these folks, resulting in a heartwarming and tearful reveal, but yikes! I guess I didn't realize how many ladies (and gents!) out there actually strive to look like a feline! Although now that you mention it, Adrienne Maloof WAS married to Paul…
That said, I will certainly be watching Botched when it premieres on E! later this month. I may be watching with one hand over my eyes, but I'll be watching nonetheless!