Last night's Mob Wives was a lot more tricks than treats as friendships were tested and costumes were thrown by the wayside. Who needs to be dressed up as an actual person or thing when you can throw on black angel wings, red contact lenses, and a lace thong?
At Big Ang's house, Renee Graziano stops in share her recent showdown with Alicia diMichele Garofalo. Renee thinks that Alicia has been as fake as can be since the get-go. Meanwhile, in Philly, Alicia is telling her side of the story to Natalie Guercio. Renee's side of the story is much more dramatic than the actual event, but she tries to explain to Ang that there has always been something about Alicia she's disliked. Doesn't she understand that you don't throw around the term "rat"? Ang hopes that Alicia can learn to filter through all the gossip she hears.
Natalie has invited Alicia, Ang, and Drita D'avanzo to go to the pumpkin patch in preparation for Halloween. The women are scaring themselves silly in a haunted corn field. It's all in a day's work for Natalie since she works in a funeral home. Really it's just a bunch of fake dead bodies sprawled around everywhere. I could have also gone without with Natalie and Ang's sex ed lesson with gourds. Natalie invites the ladies to a Halloween party at her funeral home. She's going to set up a bar in an actual casket. "That's so cute" squeals Drita until she finds out the location. Natalie wonders if she should invite Renee, and Alicia believes that it's good for her friend to be the bigger person.
Sometimes I feel sorry for VH1. It tries, it really does. The networks problem is saturation. One reality series is going well? Let's copy it in film a franchise in every state! These basketball players' wives are causing major drama and enticing viewers? Let's find more basketball wives? Wait, there aren't any? Well, that's okay! Let's find some women who maybe dated, had a baby with, or got an autograph from an NBA player. That's the same, right?
You know where I'm going with this, don't you? It's time to welcome back the women of Basketball Wives: L.A. to our televisions! It seems like they've been gone forever…and I haven't really missed them, to be honest. We'll see some new of our old favorites (is Draya Michele's new beau dating Jackie Christie's daughter too?), and some new faces who are already fitting right in. One of the new ladies has an online business with an "F" rating from the Better Business Bureau! Sounds about right!
Oh please let this be true…please, please, please! It would be so amazing to see this come to fruition. I always knew that Bethenny Frankel had a secret type, and I was right! She's totally into douchey frat daddies who are still puffing their chests and doing keg stands a decade after they graduated from college. They are a fascinating breed, but don't get too close. They are prone to STDs and using more hair product than any woman I know!
And Bethenny is in love with one! Yes! She wants to shout it from the rooftops, no doubt, wearing a string bikini and one of those weird bejeweled belly necklace situations. Epic.
What can I say about Brandi Glanville that hasn't already been said? She over shares? Yup. She has no filter? Duh. She has no problem throwing people under the bus? Check. Really nothing that comes out of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star's mouth shocks me anymore.
If you watch RHOBH, you know Brandi makes no secret about her financial situation. Even with her best-sellers, her bank account isn't even in the same stratosphere as her co-stars. I'm a flip-flopping Brandi fan, but I do like how candid she is about her struggles with money. She may not have the most, but she works hard for what she has…unlike when she was married to Eddie Cibrian.
Did anyone think that K. Michelle would last on Love & Hip Hop? Her move from the Atlanta franchise seemed calculated to revive viewers who have grown bored with the ratchetness that is the New York cast.
However, K. Michelle was barely on the show (I can't say I blame her!) this season, clocking in–maybe–a few minutes an episode. That said, I am not shocked to hear that she won't be returning for another season!
Oh Mama Joyce! You keep talking so much smack about your daughter's fiance, but really you may have more in common with his than you think! Kandi Burruss' mother has made no secret for her disdain for Kandi's beau Todd Tucker.
The newbies are invading Dance Moms and Abby Lee Miller couldn't be more excited. Melissa is homeschooling both Maddie and MacKenzie so they can have more time to dance. Why are they wearing full make-up? Both Maddie and MacKenzie are happy. Melissa is happy. Most importantly, Abby is thrilled, and really, that's all that matters to Melissa, right? Jill is trying to decide if homeschooling would be right for Kendall so she can step up her game.
Abby calls her girls together and congratulates them for beating Kathy's Candy Apples, and then she quickly reminds them that she kept enough recruits from her Orlando open-call to replace the entire team…even Maddie. Melissa wasn't expecting that bombshell! Abby is excited to scope out the talent in Atlanta. Holly volunteers her services as a former school recruiter to help with the trip…and spy. Melissa then offers up her daughters and herself to sell Abby's merchandise at the auditions. I'm surprised she's able to speak with her face shoved so far up…well, you know.
Brandi begins, "I broke my hand on a Thursday. I had my friend who is a MMA fighter and boxer wrap it for me and was happy to go to Carlton's party on Sunday. I did not go to the doctor for a few reasons. First, I barely had any time to — and second I didn't have medical insurance at the time. I had been trying for the last year to get medical coverage, but had been turned down because of a pre-existing condition. I have two little boys to take care of and I didn't want to waste my money on myself and have yet another reason to be turned down for insurance," adding, "I now have medical insurance, and, yes, my hand did heal a little deformed. My best friend drove up from San Diego, thank goodness, because with my right hand broken I couldn't really do my hair or makeup, and so I got a helping hand from my girls."