This is so, so rich. The two most upstanding ladies that MTV has introduced us to courtesy of Teen Mom are feuding over who is the better (worse?) mom to the children they very rarely see. One of them has a penchant for pregnancies while the other has a predilection for porn.
I bet you can't even guess of whom I'm speaking, can you? Bwahahaha! I'm kiddding, of course. We all know the only logical fame whores battling on social media could only be Jenelle Evans and Farrah Abraham. Farrah mades some back handed comments about how fertile Jenelle is, and Jenelle retorted, citing Farrah's backdoor aptitude for surgery and having the paps on speed dial. Man, this is amazingly bad. See you later brain cells!
It's been an emotional few days for Brandi Glanville in regard to her missing dog Chica. She's been understandably upset for what has to be months (I'm going by what we're watching each Monday on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and what we see in real time as Brandi's life literally plays out on Twitter).
I certainly don't blame Brandi for being emotional about her pooch. After all, pets are totally part of the family as the most gentle and loyal companions. However, just this week Brandi had a glimmer of hope as far as Chica is concerned.
Abby Lee Miller never ceases to amaze me with her hatefulness as she pits Chloe against…Chloe? This show is totally fake, right? On last night's Dance Moms, the troupe convenes for the pyramid, but instead of praising the girls for their great victories in the last competition, she goes through a laundry list of Kelly and Christi's bad behavior. Next she introduces the team to "the new Chloe" who she found at the open call in Orlando. She makes the Chloes stand side-by-side, and poor vintage Chloe looks totally crestfallen. I wonder if Chloe 2.0's mom knows what she's gotten her daughter into with Abby!
MacKenzie is on the bottom for not winning her division followed by Brooke who is a slave to her smart phone. Paige places one step higher than her sister for technical issues. Kendall rounds out the bottom. Chloe is the last on the second rung for not being perfect in the trio. Third from the top is the new Chloe. Why not? That's totally fair. Maddie takes the second spot, and girlfriend does not like it when she's not on top. She should never play poker. I am so proud of Nia for making it to the top of the pyramid. Well deserved, for sure! Kendall and Nia will be performing a jazz routine. Old Chloe and new Chloe will dancing head to head in solos. Melissa starts to shake…why can't Maddie compete against the new Chloe?
She tells the magazine, "I had my official last chemo treatment, and while I'm hesitant to say I'm cancer-free – maybe that's common for people who have had cancer – I'm doing great. Everything is moving in the right direction. I am very excited."
"Mostly, they bum around Los Angeles sleeping with each other’s partners, drinking too much and squabbling endlessly, but at the end of the day, they’re all just lost kids with failed dreams who work in the service industry and happen to be trailed by a production crew."
This line is from a recent Time article, and may I say that it's pure genius and totally accurate. That's right, we're getting high-brow up in here! The piece is on the crew from Vanderpump Rules and seeks to explain viewers' fascination with mean girl Stassi Schroeder, man whore Jax Taylor, and the rest of Lisa Vanderpump's attractive SUR minions. It's certainly my guilty pleasure and last night's finale was everything I hoped for and more!
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have…a day in the life of Kim Kardashian? It takes a lot out of this poor gal to wear crop tops and change her hair color, but she's learned to take the good with the bad.
For example, Kim finally had a spot of good luck when her teenaged identity thief was brought to justice, but, on the flip side, it turns out that the rumor she was posing for the cover of Vogue was just that…a rumor. Add that together with the fact that she decide whether she has more fun as a blonde, and it's already quite a week for Miss Kimmie.
Don't fail us Mo'Nique! We've been through enough piddly hosts, so I hope she's able to hold her own with the crazy crew of Love & Hip Hop! Last night was the first half of the reunion, and Mo'Nique started with a long-winded monolog about adventures and riveting stories. Yeah, not so much. Forget about the story lines, lets talk hair! I can't decide if Yandy Smith looks like a fabulous pin-up or if she's been playing in Hugh Hefner's closet. I never thought I'd want Tara Wallace to put back on the blonde wig–I know many will disagree with me, but that pixie cut isn't doing her any favors..not to mention that dress looks like a surfer's rash guard! She's a gorgeous lady, and that hairstyle makes her look mousy. Tahiry Jose's hair looks amazing in the blunt ombre'd bob.Joe Buddenis dressed like my best friend's five-year-old on Easter Sunday.
Okay, now onto the reunion! Yandy reveals that she talks to Mendeecees Harris on the phone about five times a day. Mo'Nique warns that those collect calls can get expensive! Do inmates really get that many phone privileges? We are treated to anErica Mena/Cyn make-out montage. We get, VH1, they're lesbians! Sure they are. The pair is still together (thanks to Chipotle!) as they are holding hands on the sofa. Rich Dollaz' jealousy is well documented in clips, and he looks just as stupid as I remember. Rich joins the twosome on the sofa, and he tells Mo'Nique that he didn't have any loyalty to Cyn in her relationship with Erica, and he's a self-proclaimed creep. He feels sorry for Cyn because he thinks she's a prop in his back-and-forth with Erica.
Do you live in or around Nashville? Do you have "legitimate" friends and a life most would envy? Do you appear to be between the ages of 18 and 24? If so, then MTV is interested in filming you for a reality show about really, really beautiful, rich, drama-filled people who live in Music City.
I'm guessing that if you're thirty-plus, you can still try to get on the show if you look like you could pass for a young twenty-something…be forewarned though! These are the skeletons that come sprinting out of the closet when you subject yourself to reality television!