So there are whisperings that Brooke Burke-Charvet'ssudden departure from Dancing With the Stars in favor of sportscaster Erin Andrews is due to ABC's desire to draw more male viewers to the competition show. Um, is Erin planning on being naked for the duration of the upcoming season? I really don't think there is another way to get young guys to watch a ballroom dancing competition that should have tapped its way off our small screens a while ago…and I still watch religiously!
Brooke, who co-hosted with Tom Bergeron for seven seasons, is reportedly "in shock" from being fired, but she's handling it like the classy champ she is. Bad move, DWTS. Bad move…although I do love some Erin.
All Joyce Giraud wanted to do was bond with friends and see her family while mourning the recent loss of her father. Poor thing should've known better! After all hell breaks loose on the everyone versus Lisa front, Kyle is left confused by Brandi's story and Lisa's staunch denial. Y'all know I'm a Lisa fan through and through, but do I think she tried to get Brandi to bring those rag mags to the ladies' vacay? Of course I do. Was it catty? Sure, but that's how these women operate. That said, do I think that the Kyle/Brandi/Yo trio handled themselves like some sixth grade mean girls? Yup. I, for once, agree with Kyle (do I have a fever?)–had Lisa just played it off and admitted her part in a tasteless joke, the whole trip would have played out much differently.
You know, as much as I blame Ray J for the whole Kardashian kerfluffle, I don't think Ryan Seacrest is totally without fault. After all, the E! mastermind keeps renewing their show season after season and promoting their shenanigans every chance he can. His most recent infraction occurred when he had Kim Kardashian on his radio show yesterday to talk about what she claims will be her "super, super-small intimate" wedding to the tiny rapper.
While we're on the subject of Keeping up with the Kardashians star, some yahoo is calling Kim the "Marilyn Monroe of our age." Yes, you read that right…and for once it's not Kanye West (even though he's made that lame comparison in the past). Do people just throw around Norma Jeane's name without knowing anything about her? Kim is nothing like Marilyn…and would she even want to be? What a tragic life.
I am really having a hard time watching this mess. I can't even think of a witty introduction to last night's Dance Moms because I personally want to rip that bump-it out of Abby Lee Miller's hair every time she speaks. The girls have gone from fun-loving talents to terrified robots. Shame on her.
Abby, Melissa, and her daughters arrive in Los Angeles so that MacKenzie can get into the recording studio. What is Abby now? A pop star manufacturer? Abby wants to make sure that MacKenzie has the personality and energy to be a mini-Katy Perry. She interrupts the session to tell the poor girl that she is performing like Brooke, and that isn't a compliment. MacKenzie puts a little oomph into her singing, and Abby is finally seeing her star potential…at least one of us is. She and Abby head back to Pittsburgh while Maddie stays behind for a performance of her own.
With the start of the pyramid, Abby reminds the girls that she is looking for a dancer to be her Maddie when Maddie is off doing more important things…like a job in L.A. Nia is at the bottom because of her headpiece debacle, followed by Kendall. She's clearly the reason that her duet with Kalani didn't place first as Kalani and Maddie took the top prize in their duet. Of course, Kalani learns a bit about Abby and her fickle ways when she goes from the top of they pyramid to the bottom row. Chloe is third and praised for her duet Maddie, but she needs to work on her facial expressions. MacKenzie is in second for her brilliant work with the candy box in the group number. Christi wonders why MacKenzie is above Chloe after Chloe won both of her dances. Duh, Christi! The candy box! When Maddie is once again in the top spot, Jill scoff that it's predictable.
Well, I'm not going to say this is at all surprising. No sooner had Jenelle Evans' husband gotten released from prison that there is now a warrant issued for his arrest. It's shocking to me that the Teen Mom 2 star wants to divorce Courtland Rogers when the pair clearly has so much in common. Bonding over multiple jail stints totally should have been the strong foundation on which to build their marriage.
But, alas, Courtland is likely on his way back to big house due to recent antics…and by antics, I mean stealing from a friend who was trying to help him get into treatment. Don't bite the hand feeds you, Courtland! It seems that his pal Katie McMillan invited him into her home at Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina and hoped to get him help for his addiction issues. He repaid her by stealing, and subsequently trying to pawn, her jewelry.
Well, someone certainly doesn't care about being friends with any of her Real Housewives of Atlanta co-stars. It's the NeNe Leakes Show, and that's all there is to it! After the craziness of Sunday night's episode, the Neenster has choice words for new biffles Marlo Hampton (she's not even a real cast member, NeNe reminds us) and the crazy that is Kenya Moore. Poor Cynthia wanted some fun at the Bailey Bowl, but with this group, that is quite the pipe dream!
It comes as no surprise that you won't need any sunglasses given the amount of shade NeNe throws in her Bravo blog this week! Aptly titled Manlow and Krayonce,she begins, "Here we go again! If you read my blogs, then you know I hate long, drawn out stuff. I don't have time to touch on the BS, so let's jump right in! The Bailey Bowl: I love a good challenge, so when I was told to gather up a team and meet on a field for some fun and competition, I was there! We started off by having some good competitive fun. Then here comes the BS!"
When it comes to fighting, the housewives franchise has nothing on the ladies of Mob Wives! Case in point? The giant brawl at the season's premiere party with broken bottles rumored broken bones! I think that Renee Graziano could take on all of the housewives at once, and it still wouldn't be a fair fight! Well, maybe Teresa Giudice could get in a couple of good blows…
Even though Drita D'avanzo has calmed down since seasons past (she used to be the scariest one!), she still knows how to differentiate between the "fights" the Bravolebrities claim to have and the knock-down-drag-outs-call-the-police-I-see-blood! explosions for which their VH1 counterparts are known!
Thank you, reality television, for making my home state look like the classiest and most intelligent place in the country. It started with Myrtle Manor, and then CMT slid thirty minutes down the coast to Murrells Inlet for a little gem called Party Down South. Next week, I'll have the pleasure of recapping Bravo's attempt to ruin the beautiful and historic city I adore with a little train wreck called Southern Charm (it's how the other half live, y'all…and I cannot wait!).
While all of South Carolina is abuzz about the upcoming society-skeeze-fest, those characters up scenic Highway 17 need to make sure they aren't forgotten. Enter the brain trust that is Lyle Boudreaux of Party Down South glory.