Blah, blah, blah….that's what comes to mind when I hear the title of the latest Dance Moms special Dance Moms Chatter. Jeff Collins returns to mediate (is he wearing pink pants? Props!) an hour of filler that promises Kelly and Christi drama, comediennes, and drunk fans (turns out they were one and the same). Jeff revisits the breakdown in Kelly and Christi's friendship, and Kelly admits that she has a hard time letting people into her life. Likewise, Christi knows that it's going to take a long time to regain her former bestie's trust.
Two super fans/comediennes join Kelly and Christi on stage. As the four women share cosmos, Christi wouldn't mesh well with the super fans who hope their kids are never more than mediocre. They don't want their entire lives to revolve around their children's after-school activities. Kelly reminds the super fans that their kids would fit right in with her daughters as Abby Lee Miller is constantly reminding her that her girls are average.
I notice that Christi's hair is the same color as Jeff's pants–it's got a pink tint…or is that my television? We are treated to a montage of all the moms yelling and bickering at some point during the franchise (there is no cohesiveness or chronology in this special), and Christi takes the opportunity to take digs at Kristie 2.0. Kelly reveals that it was Asia that dubbed the original Christi as "Fat Christi." Out of the mouths of babes…
It was the slap heard 'round VH1, and it preceded the bare-footed table jumping that will surely be an event at the next summer Olympics if Evelyn Lozada has her way. At the very least, it should be some new Derby parlor game!
Okay, if I didn't already know that Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was scripted, I think Kirk Frost's mountain weekend last night would have been a dead giveaway. Seriously? The dude has a pregnant wife and he has cameras following his every move. I hope both he AND Rasheeda are laughing their way to the bank with that VH1 storyline! Let's get started, shall we?
Kirk heads to Benzino's to vent about his pregnant wife making a video with HIS money from THEIR joint account. Benzino thinks that his friend is starting to wage a battle on his wife, and he hates seeing a "power couple" like the Frosts crumbling. He thinks his friend needs to get away from the city and the strip clubs and head to the lake. Kirk will be able to clear his head, and hopefully Benzino will forget he can't find love in the ATL.
I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance for this blog post because I know I'm going to offend people with my bluntness and stupidity…even people who roll their eyes at the mention of all things Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, little KompassNorth, and the child that is most certainly NOT America's Baby.
First things first…a quick disclaimer: just because I doubt that Kim and the tiny rapper's newborn has yet to sit up, say her first word, moonwalk, or buy her first pair of Manolos does not mean that I am in any way making fun of the baby's development. That said, the founder of the Pussycat Dolls is claiming the child is already giggling up a storm. False. Not false because I am snarky and Kim irks me, but false because I took more than my share of child development classes. I don't doubt that gas is making North make some super precious faces, but she's not actually laughing.
That's right, it's a Zoila for Jenni and husband Jonathan Nassos! The two welcomed a daughter over the weekend and shared her name over Twitter. Unfortunately, Zoila Chavezhoped the moniker would have been a bit different.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO FIND OUT HER FULL NAME!
It wasn't Turtle Time for Real Housewives of New York'sRamona Singer on a recent African safari. In fact, the crazy-eyed, wine-swilling drama queen was apparently attacked by an unidentified wild animal! No worries though. She's back in the States, safe and sound.
Things are very Gone with the Wind Fabulous for Real Housewives of Atlanta'sKenya Moore as the eviction suit against her heats up…and speaking of heating up, there is some pretty scandalous gossip surrounding Porsha Stewart that is making the rounds. We'll have more on that in a bit! First, let's start with the former Miss USA's legal woes.
After neither Kenya nor her lawyer showed up in court to fight the eviction, she claimed that she never received notice of the hearing. Now, her former landlord Conya Dillon is asking for an expedited hearing, and she's not fooling around. In her legal documents, Conya calls out Kenya for using the eviction proceedings to prolong her fifteen minutes of fame.
Radar has obtained court filings Kenya's landlord accuses her former tenant of violating the terms of her lease fifteen different times, as well as causing “extreme emotional distress as the result of the delay [of the eviction] and the defendant’s malicious and intentional [character] attacks."
So, while I love reality television, I am so far behind on actual "respected" entertainment. Case in point? I am still trying to catch up on the movies that were up for Oscars in February. I highly recommend Lincoln and Silver Linings Playbook. I know, I know, you've probably already seen them!
That said, last night, I finally watched D'Jango Unchained. Amazing, but I can't stomach Tarantino's caricatures of violence. I also can't handle Jamie Foxx. He's brilliant. He's talented. He made me sob in the theater when I saw Ray. He isJuilliard trained. And then he became a rapper. In my head, he went backwards.
His spiral continues, apparently. Now, Jamie is allegedly dating Cristy Rice from season one of Real Housewives of Miami. The man won an Oscar for gosh's sake. He needs to call up Charlize Theron or Halle Berry (except they're taken…no biggie). Whatever. Nothing shocks me anymore. Maybe Cristy is nicer than she appeared on RHOM. Maybe?