I'm not going to lie, I didn't miss Abby Lee Miller one bit on last night's Dance Moms. Of course, I could have done without Leslie as well. I guess you really can't have it all!
Abby is missing in action, but thankfully her best choreographers are prepared to teach the girls the group number. With Abby not around to delegate solos, the mothers are up at arms about who is most deserving. First up, Jill and 2.0 are cussing and giving each other the hand and dropping f-bombs all over the viewing room. Keep it classy, moms!
In the studio, Abby's employees are working on a newly minted group routine…while hoping they won't get fired. Christi takes the opportunity to call Kelly and tell her that now it the perfect time for Kelly to bring her girls to dance. In her mind, if Brooke and Paige are still on the pyramid, they are still on the team. Leslie is livid that Kelly's involvement could jeopardize Payton's spot on the team. Kelly arrives and instructor Gianna allows Brooke and Paige to join the group. She's too stressed to deal with extra mama drama.
Quick question for y'all…once you've called off your engagement, how many wedding ceremonies should you have to convince everyone that your marriage is legit? If you are Basketball Wives: LA'sGloria Govan, the answer is two…one in Vegas, and one in Santa Barbara.
What? You weren't invited to either? Say it ain't so! Oh well…you may just get to watch the most recent nuptials on television!
If you learn anything important from TLC (and why wouldn't you? It's The Learning Channel for goodness' sake!), it should be that you don't mess with June Shannon. The Here Comes Honey Boo Boo matriarch may be a fierce mama bear when it comes to protecting her colorful brood. That said, she's just as quick to call them out for bad behavior!
Those of you who admit to watching the show (and those of you who watch it in secret and silently giggle while reading Sugar Bear's one-liners) know that middle daughter Pumpkin (not to be confused with the slightly older Chubbs) often uses negative behavior to gain recognition among her loud and crazy family members. She has complained in the past that she isn't thrilled with the attention she's garnered in her life outside of the hit reality show. While Pumpkin has complained of being the victim of bullies, it seems that she's taken on the role of mean girl.
You wanted them to go away. You petitioned the network. You're secretly glad they'll be back next week. Am I right? The wine-bottle throwing, hair pulling, pocketbook hostage holding, Non-MFing-Factor yelling ladies of Basketball Wives are returning to VH1, but this time we're promised a softer, less violent side of the group. Yeah, right!
Not only does Shaunie O'Neal get into it with her nearest and dearest Tami Roman, but there is also a lot of new drama courtesy of new cast mate Tasha Marbury. We'll be treated to a post-Chad Johnson Evelyn Lozada, and Suzie Ketcham continues to do what she does best–stir up the insanity by talking out of both sides of her mouth!
Can't wait? Check out the extended trailer to tide you over until the premiere on August 19th!
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE CRAZINESS!
In it, Jacqueline reminds herself for three pages that her goal with Teresa was to be civil, not to mend their friendship. We got. Actually, we got it the first time you wrote it! Likewise, she explains for several paragraphs pages why she felt the need to get the tummy tuck. I'll spare you the detailed description of her pre-surgery lingerie routine. You're welcome.
Of course, I am just giving Jacq a hard time, but I tried to only hit the highlights for you. I feel like Ross on that episode of Friends…"Yes, you went on for eighteen pages…FRONT AND BACK!"
It's so haa-arrr-arrd to say good-bye to Stevie Jaaaaaaayyyyeeeeeee! Last night's final installment of the Love & Hip Hop Atlanta reunion was bittersweet. On one hand, it's been an emotional roller coaster of a season, and this girl is drained, but on the other, speaking like Lil' Scrappy in the off-season tends to draw some strange looks in my place of biz-nigh-ee.
We'll jump right back into where Mona Scott Young left us…with Rasheeda and Kirk Frost's dysfunctional marriage. The audience is stunned to re-watch Kirk suggest his wife get an abortion, and he says–with a straight face, no less!–that pulling out was a legitimate form of birth control. What, is he sixteen? Mona scolds Kirk when he laughs over the footage of his affair, and he again relays to Mona that he believes Rasheeda gave him a free pass. Mimi Faust is all "oh no he didn't" from the sofas, and Drew knows better than do anything but nod in agreement to Mimi's outcry since he's sitting between her and Traci Reece.
What do you call Kody Brown making eighteen thousand walk-throughs of his new cul-de-sac compound? Why last night's episode of Sister Wives of course! Janelle, Christine, and Robyn are all set to move in, but poor Meri just can't seem to catch a break with the loan underwriters. Shucks!
It's another walk through, and the homes are finally landscaped. Christine gushes about her new kitchen, and Robyn teases that it sounds like Christine is describing the love of her life when waxing poetic about her appliances. Sounds about right. I'd prefer granite countertops to a flaxen haired polygamist wearing head-to-toe denim. Christine is stressing about packing, and apparently she thinks her children will be motivated by copious amounts of baby talk.
You know, of all of the reality stars in all of the franchises in the far-reaching corners of Bravo Land, the one I'd be the most frightened to feud with is Real Housewives of Atlanta'sNeNe Leakes. Not only does she have a sharp tongue, she's a legit heavy hitter after making the jump from Bravolebrity to bona fide television actress. Sure, The New Normal has been canceled, but, you know what, so was a gem known as Malibu Country.
That said, Wendy Williams apparently didn't get the memo–and she's supposedly friends (albeit maybe former) with the Neenster! After whisperings of discord between the ladies, Wendy is trying to set the record straight, saying that rumors of tension between the two are totally exaggerated.