Back in my last life when I taught first grade, I used to read "Which Witch Is Which" to my students around Halloween. For some reason, when I watch this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the same question resonates in my head! Is it the actual Wiccan Carlton Gebbia? Kyle Richards for her comments? Brandi Glanville? I just don't know anymore. Of course, Carlton thinks there is no bigger bwitch (my new hybrid word) in 90210 than Splits and Joyce Giraud. I think someone needs to Escape from Witch Mountain! Who's with me? Kim? (Sorry, couldn't resist!).
In her Bravo blog, Carlton has had enough of the judgment and hypocrisy, so she goes and does the proper amount of judgment towards Kaftan Kyle herself. Perhaps these ladies should be friends as they seem to act in the same general manner!
Good gravy, Scheana Marie is quite a piece of work. The Vanderpump Rules waitress and sometimes pop star wannabe has certainly gotten down the rules of Bravolebrity as she dishes on her upcoming wedding. Will it be televised? Scheana hopes so! Someone call Andy Cohen!
Of course, Scheana is smart enough to know (did I just type that?) to scoff at the idea of a wedding spin-off…nice way to beat the network to the punch of NOT asking you to have one! In the wise words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
Leave it to Love & Hip Hop'sErica Mena to say something so foul that even I am offended, and I am not easily offended at all. You can't watch what I have to watch and get grossed out easily, right? 😉 As you know, Erica's story line was her new lesbian relationship with Cyn Santana and the resulting love triangle with former beau and sometimes manager Rich Dollaz.
After a volatile season and reunion, even Cyn seemed convinced that Erica was still head over heels in love with Rich. Of course, after lots of screaming and Rich acting like b*tch (seriously dude, just be a gentleman), Erica swore up and down that her feelings were gone. He had hurt her one time too many and only seemed to want her when he couldn't have her. I mean, he did, but she still had a girlfriend. Y'all know. Like me, no matter how insane it gets, you can't get enough of it. I blame Mona Scott Young!
It was the bump-it pull of a Lifetime. Literally. Last week's Dance Moms erupted in a volcano of crazy and violence when Kelly Hyland pulled Abby Lee Miller's hair after being provoked with some insane teeth chomping on the part of the world's most hateful dance instructor! Not only that, but Melissa totally lied to her fellow moms when she claimed to not know that daughter Maddie would be competing in a duet with one of the finalists from Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. And, of course, these mothers just can't get over themselves or Melissa's betrayal. I love that they pretend they wouldn't do the same for their kids to get ahead…
Making sure we all know just what a liar Melissa is, Christi recently tweeted, "FYI: in the car, on the way to the comp in the Bronx, Melissa said to me & Kelly: ur gonna hate me today. She KNEW about the duet," later commenting to a follower, "We didn't even know Kalani was in New York City, let alone dressed and ready for the duet. We found out on way to stage."
Blah, blah, mission statement, yada, yada, yada commitment ceremony. Give me something to work with, Browns! Last night's Sister Wives was more of the same as the family prepped for their big party. The yards of the cul-de-sac compound are almost complete, so that's one thing they can check off their list, but what about dresses for the wives and the actual mission statement itself? Kody jokes that with four wives it's easier to make decision because it's like he has a committee to get things done. Christine recognizes that in a monogamous relationship there is no tie-breaker. It's so profound.
One of Janelle's friend's daughter has just graduated from school with a degree in fashion design, and she's volunteered to create four custom dresses. Each wife has a vision for her dress because, you know, they're "fashion designers" in addition to being "jewelry designers." Not surprisingly, Meri is asking a ton of questions and has countless opinions. She wants edgy, not elegant. No worries there! Janelle admits that she has warned Sam the designer about how picky particular Meri can be. I guess we're not the only ones still harping on her need for a wet bar!
Kody and his wives are meeting with their family therapist to get assistance with their mission statement. Christine fancies herself quite the writer, although her wife counterparts aren't too sure. Robyn gets choked up every time they read over it. Of course she does. She's mainly concerned with how the completed mission statements will be displayed. Somebody call Cracker Barrel to get some ideas! Kody wants the statement immortalized on canvas and signed by all the wives. Janelle is worried that putting it on canvas could be limiting if Kody gets another wife. While she doesn't foresee Kody getting another wife, they didn't foresee Robyn coming either. Ouch. Kody thinks he's pretty much done with wives. Meri is worried that once the the mission statement is completed and the commitment ceremony is over, the family will sink back into dysfunction. Kody wishes Meri wouldn't be such a Debbie Downer all the time. Amen.
If Kyle Richards wrote a memoir, I'd like to think she she title it "Kaftans and Hypocrisy: The Splits Richards Story." It's got bestseller written all over it, doesn't it? The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star can't get over how hypocritical co-star Carlton Gebbia has been, yet she can't see how bad her own behavior is towards former bestie Lisa Vanderpump. I was hoping that when Kyle watched last week's episode and saw Lisa defend her to Carlton, she'd feel badly for not returning the favor when Brandi Glanville was bad mouthing Lisa. Not so much! Why am I not surprised?
In her Bravo blog, Kyle begins, "This week is the kick off to some real craziness coming up. Buckle up! Mauricio and I received an invitation to Carlton and David's event and then after the dinner party received a 'disinvite.' I think it was a given I wouldn't go, but if Carlton felt the need to make sure I wasn't going to attend, I think the disinviting should have been directed to both Mauricio and myself. I'm not sure if she actually thought my husband would show up without me or she just wanted to add salt to the wound."
Mob Wives newbie Alicia deMichele Garofalo certainly started her reality career under different circumstances as she's awaiting sentencing for counts for fraud and embezzlement as the bookkeeper for her husband Eddie's crooked trucking company. We've watched as she's dealt with her husband going to jail and fearing for her three sons if she has the same future behind bars. Now, she's announcing plans to divorce Eddie…who she hasn't been with for years. Wow. I love the liberties that shows take with "reality"!
Speaking to Radar Online, Alicia reveals, “My husband and I aren’t together anymore. I’m filing for divorce within the next couple of months.”
Citing "just a lot of betrayal" and "too many [reasons] to mention" that factored into her decision to file for divorce, Alicia is more concerned about her sentencing than the end of her marriage. Eddie is currently serving his sentence in Brooklyn while Alicia awaits her fate. She laments, “At the end of the day, I could be taken away from my children. I don’t know what’s worse than that.”
Last night's Mob Wives was a big ol' Twitter hating, lingerie wearing, baby building, screaming mess. Can you guess who was doing the most?
It begins with Renee Graziano heads to Drita D'avanzo's house for dinner with Natalie Guercio and Alicia deMichele Garofalo. Drita is prepared to play the role of mediator. She isn't going to let anyone get physical in the house she just redecorated. The meal starts out as an awkward, tense blind date. Even Big Ang is quiet, which is unheard of for her. Renee calls out Alicia for not eating, and Alicia takes the opportunity to say she wants to calmly rehash their issues. Alicia confronts Renee about spreading rumors about her that are jeopardizing her case. Renee admits that she is guilty of gossiping, but she'd never be a rat. Alicia accepts what Renee has to say, and she doesn't believe she's leaked any information to the press. Renee believes that Alicia has a giant problem with her best friend Carla, and the women's discussion gets heated.