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dd1

I guess we've been spoiled by Duck Dynasty and the Robertson family, and I'm certainly alright with that.  However, imagine my sadness when I realized that last night we were just treated to one new episode instead of the two to which we've grown accustomed.  Granted, it was hilarious, but I can always use a full hour of the Roberston boys.  Phil, Si, Willie, and Jase bring a balance to my week, and I'm forever grateful to them for it!

I have to say that Missy stole my heart when she decided that "Jason" (who's that? haha!) needed a wedding band.  We all know he'd never stray, she just wanted an outward symbol of their marital bond.  Can you blame her?  Of course not!  And when hilarity ensues (like it always does with the boys from Duck Commander), you've gained my attention!

Missy takes Jase to Grassi's Fine Jewelry determined to put a ring on it.  Beyonce wishes she were there too, without a doubt.  Jase likens ring shopping to fishing when you don't have a good lure.  He admits that he lost his initial wedding band over twenty years ago, but that's okay because when women see him, they run.  Unfortunately, that statement isn't a compliment to sweet Missy.  The pair look at bands, and Jase is hoping to find something that won't make him the laughing stock of the warehouse. 

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catelynn tyler

Oh my good gracious.  Y'all know how I feel about the ladies of MTV's Teen Mom franchise, but I'll let you in on a little secret.  I've always held out hope for a slightly normal life for the first cycle's Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra.  The couple chose adoption for their daughter on their episode of 16 & Pregnant, and they have faced multiple relationship and socio-economic hurdles with grace and maturity.

Both Catelynn and Tyler came from backgrounds where the cards were already stacked against them, but the pair seems determined to beat the odds.  Despite family drama (his jailbird dad married her addict mom–and that relationship was nothing short of abusive), the two graduated high school and started working towards college degrees.  Now, they are moving their issues to MTV's sister network.  Le sigh.

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duck dynasty boys
 
Oh my, oh Si!  I seriously cannot get enough of the Robertson family, and I am so excited to share more of this fabulous group with the wonderful RT readers.  The fan favorite seems to be Uncle Si, although I have a soft spot in my heart for Jase.  Poor Willie seems to be the brunt of the family's good-hearted ribbing, with Phil doling out the most deadpanned advice.  Honestly, I wish other reality families would take note (cough, cough Kardashians!).
 
Today, we get to delve a little behind the scenes of the Robertsons, and the executive producer of the Duck Dynasty shares just why this show works so well.  Enough chatter from me…let's get to it, shall we?  
 
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dm1

Hey, y'all!  Remember last week's Dance Moms when Abby Lee Miller was slightly supportive of her dancers?  Yeah, that was short lived!  Last night's episode had a bitter Abby back to wreck her talented troupe's self-esteem.  Good times! 

The girls and moms enter the studio, and Abby is actually happy and proud of the girls' performance at last week's competition.  This week, the dancers are headed to compete in Michigan.  During the pyramid, Brooke is on the bottom, and Abby is livid that she talked to Nia when she forgot her routine.  Abby gets even angrier when Kelly laughs at her daughter's mishap, and she dismisses Brooke from for the competition.  MacKenzie is also on the bottom for not resting her injured foot.  Nia's outstanding Rosa Parks performance is also on th bottom, and all Abby can say is that Rosa herself would have been proud.  So then why is she on the bottom?  Kendall rounds out the bottom.  Chloe and Paige are on second row for a winning duet.  Maddie is on top, and Abby believes she deserves a standing ovation.

Kendall receives a solo, and Abby wants her to work on stamina.  Chloe also gets a solo.  She has the two run in place silently.  Maddie will be dancing a duet with sister MacKenzie entitled "Run From Mother."  The group routine is called "Gold Digga" but that is all the information that Abby is willing to give.  Abby explains to the girls exactly what a gold digger is.  In the viewing area, Melissa is sporting a wedding band and reveals that she was married the previous Monday in the dress the moms picked out for her.  Kelly gushes that she was able to keep the secret given that Paige was in attendance at the ceremony.  Melissa shares camera phone shots of the nuptials. 

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nene

It's no secret that Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes wants to be less a reality star and more a legitimate television personality.  She's already conquered the sitcom realm with her NBC hit The New Normal, and now many of her fans are hoping we'll see the Neenster on the talk show circuit.

Not too long ago, NeNe served as a guest host on ABC's The View, and she was very well received to say the least. While I don't always find NeNe's behavior on RHOA to be all that funny (although her WIG! oneliners are classic), I find her hilarious outside the show.  Now that Joy Behar has announced she'll  be bidding farewell to The View after nearly seventeen years, would NeNe make a good replacement?

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PETA MURGATROYD, SEAN LOWE

Well, that didn't take long!  Just the other day, the word on the street was that former Bachelor Sean Lowe was spreading his diva-licious attitude all over the set of Dancing with the Stars.  While the gossip was *slightly* far fetched, Sean is laughing off the claims that he thinks he "makes" the reality competition. 

At the other end of the entitled dancing spectrum is fresh faced Disney teen Zendaya Coleman, but of course, she changed the game this week as well when she put her synchronized foot in her perfectly pouty mouth.  Confused?  Read on!

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kim

Another day, another math conundrum in the realm of the Kardashians.  Kim Kardashian is helping us train our brains with some weighty word problems.  The Keeping up with the Kardashians star, who is preggers with Kanye West's baby (duh!), is slyly revealing just how many pounds she's gained.  Using terms like "only half" and "60 pounds off," she is causing my brain to fry with the computations.  

When she's not making the public subtract and divide, she's being coy about Kimye Jr.'s potential moniker and how she wishes she had some junk food cravings.  Pregnancy is the one time that she has the excuse to eat whatever she wants, but all the baby seems to desire is rabbit food.  Poor Kim just kan't katch a break!  

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3tm

This may sound a bit odd, but I've taken to thinking of Teen Mom 2 (actually the entire franchise) as MTV's personal Truman Show.  It's not true, it's just the network's way of punking everyone everywhere.  In fact, it's getting to be the only way I can rationalize these girls and their unapologetically abhorrent behavior (that includes you, Farrah Abraham!).  It has to be some sort of joke or satirical take on modern society, right? 

In my head, Jenelle Evans is using this as her doctoral thesis, and Leah Messer Sims Calvert is planning to use her footage to create a poignant yet ironic documentary on the importance of self-esteem and the teenage girl.  Kailyn Lowry is working undercover to fix glitches in the family court that allow one parent to abuse the legal system just to get back at the ex who scorned them…she's good at her job, by the way.  Finally, Chelsea Houska is having the last laugh, as she's actually fluent in eight languages (whining is the ninth!), and she's testing a scientific theory regarding how high pitched and nasally a voice must be before viewers press the mute button.  Well played, ladies.  Well played.  Too bad my alternate Teen Mom universe is just one blogger's sad delusions.  :) 

So, let's get to last night's episode, shall we?  Jenelle is recovering from her boob job, and she can't wait until she's fully recovered so she can spend some time with Jace.  Sadly, that won't happen until the poor child is at least eighteen.  Gary is taking good care of her, and Jenelle wants to talk about three things: 1) Kieffer; 2) what Gary thinks of her new ta-tas; and 3) Kieffer.  Oh, wait… Kieffer has been texting Jenelle, and Gary isn't willing to lose his "career" to fight with such a loser if he decides to come visit.  He'd rather get back to checking out Jenelle's new rack.

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