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Just when I think Abby Lee Miller can't sink to a new low in favoritism and self-importance, I'm treated to a new episode of Dance Moms.  Last night's show was insane!  

Abby is on Cloud Nine after beating Cathy and her Candy Apples, but Kelly and Christi are still not speaking.  Before the pyramid begins, Asia and Kristie 2.0 return.  Asia finds herself at the bottom for missing last week due to a television gig.  Nia is next for lagging just a tad behind in the group number.  Kendall is called out for a lacking rehearsal, and Paige rounds out the bottom tier even though she garners Abby's praise.

MacKenzie finds herself in fourth place followed by Chloe and MaddieAbby cannot say enough about the girls' flawless duet.  Brooke takes the top spot–has that ever happened?–for dancing up with the senior troupe.  The group number is entitled "Living with the Ribbon."  Abby wants it to be a tribute number to all of the people who have been affected by cancer, and Melissa immediately gets choked up because she lost her mother to the disease.

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kathy-wakile-full

When I think of Real Housewives of New Jersey, I usually think of ridiculous drama, table flipping, prostitution whores, and the always feuding duo of sisters-in-law Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice.  Thankfully, there is the boring calming presence of Kathy Wakile to bring everything back to normal.

In her Bravo blog, Kathy discusses daughter Victoria's college plans and husband Rich's need for a private consultation with Emily Post.  I'd say that's a fair assessment, no?

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upscale-basketball-wives

Remind me never to believe Shaunie O'Neal when she claims she wants Basketball Wives to take a more positive turn.  It's never going to happen if she and her band of mean girls keep bashing former co-stars Jennifer Williams and Royce Reed in the media.

As always, Shaunie and her minions Evelyn Lozada and Tami Roman claim to take the high road, but are they really?  I'll let y'all answer that!

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newlyweds3

The couples of Newlyweds: The First Year are now getting into the swing of the married life, and this week I don't mean swinging punches.  Blair Late and Jeff Pederson are still arguing about finances, while Tina Sugandh and Tarz Ludwigsen continue their uncomfortable honeymoon pact.  Kim and Alaska Gedeon share a tender moment when he shows rare vulnerability, and Kathryn Bougadis and John Lagoudes can't seem to see eye-to-eye over that pesky pool table!

Tina is upset because things seem to be changing between her and Tarz.  He's too into work, and she feels totally unwanted.  Tina feels stupid airing her issues, and she hates that Tarz doesn't seem to find her as attractive as he used to before they were married.  He wants to scale back, but his inner workaholic isn't letting him.

John is hoping to show Kathryn that he is capable of manual labor by painting the nursery.  She was raised by a handy father, while he grew up thinking that a true sign of success was the ability to hire people to do those things for you.  Thankfully, before he can paint too much, there is a tanning salon emergency because the beds won't work.  As Kathryn tries to fix the problem, John keeps shushing her.  He's very dismissive of her part in the business.  If I were Kathryn, John would have a paintbrush where the sun doesn't shine.

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hiphop1

Whoa, Nellie!  Last night's Love & Hip Hop Atlanta was full of bleeped out rants and blurred out bodies, so basically it was like any other Monday night!

Mimi Faust  and Ariane are still vacationing in New York City on what has to be the least fun trip ever.  While Mimi is over all things with K. Michelle, she is concerned that Ariane is straddling the fence.  She needs to choose between Mimi and K. Michelle.  Ariane assures Mimi of where her loyalty lies, and Mimi asks for her take on Nikko.  Not beating around the bush, Ariane tells her friend that she believes Nikko is not very genuine, but she's happy as long as Mimi is happy.

Lil' Scrappy has called Shay in Erica Dixon's absence.  She is happy to come by and give him a massage and chat about their relationship.  The pair decides–much to Shay's chagrin–that sex ultimately ruined their friendship, and they'll have to cut out the "benefits" portion of their relationship.  Of course, Scrappy makes this decision while rubbing on Shay in his bed.  No one is shocked, are they?

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Kim Kardashian seen leaving her hotel

We all know that Kim Kardashian loves a photo opportunity, and it makes her mother Kris Jenner oh so proud!  Of course, now that Kim's with Kanye West, he's reigned in Kim in the photo famewhoring (to a small extent) realm.

The couple is still followed by the paparazzi as Kim models maternity wear, but what will happen once their daughter is born?  While most tabloids will be vying for pics of the newborn, one magazine reportedly wants Kim for its cover.  Not surprisingly, it's a gentlemen's read.

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tamra-eddie-engaged-wedding

Wedding bells are ringing for the loud and boisterous Tamra Barney, but when will she actually walk down the aisle?  The Real Housewives of Orange County star is marrying beau Eddie Judge in several ceremonies…a small family gathering and now a spin-off event.  Geez.  That Tamra loves a camera, doesn't she?

Well thankfully, some folks who are well-connected to the Bravo franchise aren't the best at keeping a secret, and now we know that Tamra and Eddie's wedding festivities will be happening sooner rather than later!

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brandi glanville-taylor armstrong

It's never easy being one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills…and apparently it's not easy being one of their assistants either.  Just ask Brandi Glanville's assistant who was recently (kind of) thrown under the bus by her boss about a missing dog.  Brandi's Chihuahua was stolen…although Brandi isn't sure if the poor pooch was just lost by her assistant.

Regardless, co-star Taylor Armstrong is crying foul.  Lost or stolen, Taylor thinks that Brandi is just creating another publicity stunt to keep her name in the media.  Well, if anyone would know what that looks like…

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