Well, what do you know!?! VH1 is finally getting a clue when it comes to drawn out series. Has the network finally realized that sometimes it’s better to end a show when the drama fades than to try to recreate manufactured drama with an old cast by bringing in newbies? No, I’m not talking about the Love & Hip Hop franchise…
Remember that time Brooks Ayers really had cancer and wanted to prove it so badly that he falsified doctor’s reports? While he’s no longer filling the love tank of OG Vicki Gunvalson, Brooks certainly created a great story line for the viewers of Real Housewives of Orange County. Not only is faking cancer the most deplorable tall tale one could create, but why would someone do it while being filmed for a popular reality series? Of course, I am not saying Brooks lied about having cancer, but that’s mainly because, you know…legal stuff.
While all of Vicki’s co-stars doubt Brooks account of his health thanks to a lot of discrepancies, his random treatments (or lack thereof), that damn psychic, and just a basic distrust of Brooks in general, it’s only been recently that Vicki has distanced herself from the man who has been consistently wrecking her reputation. Now, her family wants Brooks punished for also defaming the reputable medical provider who he touted as the producer of his fake reports.
“He’s Captain Lee (Captain Lee, Captain Lee), when you crew for him, you’re working hard as can be. Fool around, you’ll scrub the decks till three. He’s rough. He’s tough. He’s alpha to a tee. Captain Lee…he’s the stud of the sea!” Can I get an “AMEN”?!?
We learned a lot of juicy little secrets on the final installment of the Below Deck reunion, didn’t we? Captain HAROLD Lee Rosbach? Respect! The reunion begins where last week’s left off…galley-gate! Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow is still accusing Kate Chastain of boozing on the clock when the fire started, and Captain Lee reminds her that former chef Leon “Beef Cheeks” Walker said she was and then admitted that she wasn’t. One way or another, he was lying. Amy Johnson skirts Andy Cohen’s direct question as to whether she’s ever seen Kate drinking on charter by responding that she thinks all of the finger pointing is petty. Andy drops the subject and moves onto my favorite Bravo promo in the history of television. Lee jokes that his wife “has gotten a lot of mileage” out of his “alpha to a tee” persona, and the crew reveals he’s a bit of a celebrity…and his first name is actually Harold, which Andy never knew. Lee’s plethora of colorful metaphors is revisited, with “when you get caught with your tit in the ringer” being everyone’s new favorite. Rocky accuses the Captain of showing support to his chief stew and head bosun, but Amy disagrees. She believes he is there for his entire crew, and Lee is quick to respond he’d lay the smack down on anyone–even Eddie Lucas–if he thought it was necessary.
The original Love & Hip Hop franchise may be returning in two weeks with a brand new season, but one cast member may not get to watch the episodes as they air. Mendeecees Harris was sentenced today in Rochester, New York on a very serious drug trafficking charge.
The reality star (and groom of co-star Yandy Smith, thanks to VH1 sponsored live wedding ceremony) pleaded guilty to crime back in April in US District Court, and his sentence today could have had him facing years of prison time and a very hefty fine. As I was typing up this post, the Democrat & Chronicle updated its site with the judge’s ruling. Mendeecees was sentenced to serve 97 months in jail, or just over eight years to those (like myself) who aren’t mathletes.
Is it possible that I’ve already forgotten half of the story lines from this season’s Love & Hip Hop Hollywood? Thanks goodness that last night’s first reunion installment brought me back up to speed! This time around, Nina Parker is tasked with keeping the cast in check, stirring the pot, rehashing the drama, and getting the heck out of the way when the inevitable messiness begins. She introduces the cast (there are some folks that maybe lasted an episode), and Hazel-E is in desperate need of a bra. Brandi missed the memo that this wasn’t a costume party, so she’s dressed as a fancy ostrich. Nina explains that Omarion and Apryl Jones were not able to join their co-stars because they have way more sense than this crew Omarion needs to focus on his music.
Princess and Ray-J’s turbulent romance is the first story line to be recapped. Ray admits he’s made a lot of mistakes, and Princess is happy to share that the charges against her have been dropped after that whole “Ray-J let me get arrested” fiasco. She reveals that the pair is engaged after Ray popped the question on the finale. Teairra Mari interjects that Ray has TMZ on speed dial, so it’s the perfect segue into Teairra’s two-faced ways with the couple. Teairra takes offense to Ray’s accusation that she was only interfering to get him back in her bed. She calls him a liar, but she fails to come up with another logical reason for inserting herself into their relationship.
I guess the friendship contract I assumed had been voided long ago is still in place after all! Perhaps the former and current Real Housewives of Atlanta stars have even added a truce addendum! Cynthia Bailey, who drafted the infamous document to solidify her bond with NeNe Leakes, has found her voice over the past two seasons, and when NeNe left the show, there was no love lost between the one-time besties. However, it seems that hell is starting to freeze over–is that a pig I see flying??–because the two ladies have been spotted together…and they are smiling (and blonde)!
NeNe shared the above-posted picture to her Instagram with the caption, “Super sexy in the big city @cynthiabailey10 #byebrazil #workinprogress.” NeNe has been in New York due to her Broadway stint in Chicago, and Cynthia isn’t the only one of the Neenster’s RHOA cast mates who wish her well. NeNe retweeted former Atlanta housewife Sheree Whitfield (who has already made waves this season), responding “Thank u boo!” to Sheree’s comment: “Proud of you @NeNeLeakes You are gonna kill it! #neneinchicago”
“Mental wounds not healing; who and what’s to blame? I’m goin’ off the rails on a crazy train!” What could possibly be to blame? Maybe those sparkly butterflies occupying the ceiling of Eros? I so wanted another boat ballad to steer us into last night’s fun, but a little Ozzy Osbourne never hurt anyone. Plus, a boat is just a train on water, right? I don’t know about y’all, but I think it’s high tide, um, I mean “high time,” that the crew of Below Deck got a proper reunion! And a two-parter to boot! They have clearly arrived by Bravo standards! Andy Cohen has pulled the yachties from the WWHL clubhouse, and he feels like Captain Lee Rosbach has called them all to the bridge of the Eros.
Emile Kotze is sporting his grandfather’s suit, Eddie Lucas is looking adorable with a beard (it almost–ALMOST–makes me forget his douche-esque behavior this season!) and Kate Chastain has foregone the resting bitch face…for the time being. The get together kicks off with the gang recalling their favorite charter guests, and Connie Arias recalls that her roommate Emile would ask her to hit the deck a few minutes early every morning so he could spank the salami (or whatever the phrase may be). Lovely. Andy inquires as to why Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow is always chatting with her pal the ceiling, and she jokes that there were likely sparkly butterflies and unicorns flying around up there. When Eddie tries to crack a joke, Rocky jumps. Does Eddie want to get into things already? Is his girlfriend there so Rocky can share some of the sordid details of their laundry room hook-ups?
Last night was the season finale of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. What a ride! The episode begins as Moniece and Rich Dollaz are having a date night, and she applauds him for his civil meeting with Lil’ Fizz. She’s excited with the state of their relationship–Rich has done everything she’s asked of him regardless of how crazy he may consider her requests. Of course, with Moniece we know that that’s saying a lot! Next on her list? Engagement rings and wedding bands! Rich is on board as long as his ring is just as expensive as hers. Meanwhile, after coming out to his ex-girlfriend Amber to appease his current boyfriend Milan, Miles has decided to face his best guy friends with the news that he is gay. After the regular friendly ribbing and a quick game of pool, Miles realizes he should’ve never been nervous to tell his friends of his sexual orientation. They are extremely open to his admission, except for the fact that he didn’t feel comfortable telling them earlier.
Ray J is still whining about losing Princess, and he’s pulling out all the stops in hopes of making her come back to him. Cue a giant red bow and a brand-new house. He is all in as far as a relationship goes, but Ray’s not all in as far as Dabo’s (#allin #BYOG #GoTigers) standards go. Princess knows that Ray can be unpredictable, but she’s hoping he realizes why she needed to slow things down in the first place. She still loves Ray, but she’s not sure she can trust him due to his history of strippers and late nights. This is Ray’s final chance with Princess. Until the next chance, obviously. Princess cites that she is not ready to move into a new house unless Ray can promise her that it will be hers forever. She wants everything in her name. Ray isn’t about to convey his latest property over to Princess, but he lies and tells her that it’s in the works. Princess is excited about this next chapter, but she shouldn’t hold her breath for a quitclaim deed. Neither should Ray J, as we all know that this is just VH1 renting a house for filming purposes and for no other reason.