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dancing-with-the-stars-season-18

Bring on the parade of former child stars (I'm not complaining–The Wonder Years is my Netflix go-to!) and a loud housewife as we prepare for an eighteenth season of Dancing with the Stars. While all of the original judges will be returning, host Brooke Burke has been replaced with sports commentator Erin Andrews. Also returning? Dance pro (and eye candy) Maksim Chmerkovskiy! He reveals that he was actually invited back in a different capacity.

Also, Lisa Vanderpump paved the way for Bravo housewives on the dance competition, and she has some sound advice for competitor NeNe Leakes of Real Housewives of Atlanta. She knows that it takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to make it on the show, but Lisa promises NeNe that it's worth every minute!

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Khloe Kardashian arriving at Loews Hollywood Hotel

The guest list for Kim Kardashian and the tiny rapper's intimate wedding may have just gotten smaller by two people. While the producers of Keeping up with the Kardashians want to film yet another of Kim's weddings for the show (they need a story line, y'all!), putting the hoopla affair on E! may cost Kanye West his desired best man. 

As Kim preps for her big day (shouldn't be too hard to plan for given that it's her third), sister Khloe Kardashian is strutting her stuff now that she's newly single. She sported the above outfit (is she going for hillbilly dominatrix?) while attending a Rick Ross concert. I guess she doesn't want to get lost in the shuffle, but I doubt that outfit will help Kim convince Beyonce that her wedding to Yeezy will be a classy affair!

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juan pablo bachelor

I think Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis may be past the point of a simple "Bless his heart." He just needs to step quietly away from the roses and fade back into obscurity. And while he's at it, he should probably stop blaming all of his insensitive remarks on a language barrier.

On Friday, Juan Pablo retweeted (and then quickly deleted due to backlash) a follower's joke that made light of disabilities. In the aftermath, he told his detractors to "relax" and "try to be happy and enjoy jokes and sarcasm." I'm confused. Hasn't ol' JP blamed all of his cluelessness about sarcasm on his language barrier? It seems that ABC is as tired of this season's Bachelor as I am!

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In Touch the sixth annual ICONS & IDOLS

From reality star to executive producer? Jenni "JWoww" Farley has come a long way since Jersey Shore? Who knew those crazy kids had such lofty aspirations in addition to fist pumping and a life of GTL? JWoww first followed in pal Snooki's fuzzy slipper clad footprints when she penned the "self-help" tome The Rules According to JWoww: Shore-Tested Secrets on Landing a Mint Guy, Staying Fresh to Death, and Kicking the Competition to the Curb, and now she's set her sights on the cinema.

Jenni is now taking her visions of orange meatballs and gorilla juiceheads to the big screen by serving as executive producer to the upcoming horror film Jersey Shore Massacre. Yes, really. 

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“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” season 4 and “Vanderpump Rules” season 2 Cross-over premiere

I have to say that Carlton Gebbia's Bravo blog is the perfect storm of everything the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star likes to do: down tequila shots, hate on Kyle Richards, make digs at Joyce Giraud, and forge a better friendship with Lisa Vanderpump. I'm not always in Carlton's corner, but I do adore her take on Monday's episode. Besides calling out Mauricio Umansky and Michael Giraud for wanting to be the eighth and ninth housewives (preach!), she seems to have an even-keeled about her opinions…except when it comes to hating on Kyle, and that's pretty entertaining.

She begins, "Back to Puerto Rico…Kyle seems so hell bent on an apology from Lisa – for what? Is she seriously demanding this huge, blown-out-of-proportion apology from Lisa for allegedly saying 'take the tabloid' regarding Kyle's husbands alleged affair? Really, are you joking? Did you also demand that same apology from Brandi [Glanville] too? Just curious? Good God, give it a bloody rest."

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Khloe Kardashian Appears at Kardashian Khaos

So both Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian were the victims of robberies recently. It would only make sense that they find new places to reside so it wouldn't happen again. Not really, of course, but after Khloe discovered more than $200,000 worth of jewelry was missing while moving out of her marital home with Lamar Odom, she's finally found a new place to stash her pricey belongings.

In case you were curious, Khloe is a true Bielieber. After selling her home to the star of The Big Bang Theory, Khloe is set to purchase the douchiest house in Calabasas. That's right! She's buying Justin Bieber's party pad. I am sure his neighbors are overjoyed that the egg-slinging jackhole popstar is moving to Atlanta. Atlanta? Not so much. Speaking of, Kris Jenner's house is on the market as well…at least the exterior, that is! Confused? Keep reading!

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Leah Remini and Family

Can we go ahead and start jumping on Oprah's couch over this news? That's probably putting the cart ahead of the horse, but TLC has announced a new show which will premiere this summer that will follow famed actress and former Scientologist Leah Remini and her family.

I'm not going to hold my breath that this show will divulge all the secrets of the controversial religion, but a gal can hope, right? 

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k-michelle

Oh, VH1, you never disappoint! The network that brought us the classic Love & Hip Hop franchise is at it again, hoping to target that professional, unmarried woman in her mid to late '20s who totally has her life together but “doesn’t see any shame in watching provocative, fun TV.” Sounds about right! I know these women, and I can see them joining me in a marathon of Naked Dating. Yes. Because that's going to be a show thanks to the art of blurring out body parts!

Nudity not your thing? Perhaps you'd rather watch cameras follow around my favorite Backstreet Boy Nick Carter or get lost in the nail-biting excitement of a traveling paternity testing truck. Who needs ice-cream when it has DNA? Still not convinced? How about K. Michelle's as yet untitled project. So she was telling the truth! The network is also debuting show that chronicles embarrassing hook-up walks of shame. Let me set my DVR (no, really).

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