I have many fond memories of Alfred E. Neuman, as I'm sure all of you do, but this upcoming August issue of Mad Magazine is going to be the be-all-end-all in Mad madness. Not only are they spoofing the reality wedding of the century with a cover that recently debuted on Access Hollywood Live, but Reality Tea has the hilarious exclusive on an inside feature: Reality TV Rejection Letters.
The Bachelor rejection letter spoof starts off – "After a thorough background check that included talking to your former employers and ex-boyfriends and researching your criminal record, we came to the conclusion that you were simply too well-adjusted for "The Bachelor: Season 18." Nice try – but there's crazy and then there's "Bachelor" crazy. What we're looking for is someone who – cries hysterically at diaper commercials, sews bridesmaid dresses for her cats…"
I can't wait to read the rest of these! Although, I'd buy the issue just so I can put that Kimye cover on my office wall!
Well, if his book does what it he claims it will, Fredrik Eklund is going to be karate chopping his way to even more money! The green tea swilling star of Million Dollar Listing: New York not only kills it in the world of real estate, he plans to take the New York Times bestseller list by storm as well.
The New York Post speculated that Fredrik and lifestyle guru Bruce Littleton just inked a six-figure deal to write a book to be published by Penguin which shares "the tricks used to convince people 'to love you, listen to you and buy whatever you are selling.'” Where do I sign up for my advance copy?
Get the Emmys ready, the crew of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta is all about the heavily scripted drama these days, and it gets more and more obvious each week. Let's get started with the recapped madness, shall we?
Because Mimi Faust cares far too much about her ex's marital status to Joseline Hernandez, Benzino believes the best way to squash their beef is to facilitate a meeting with Mimi,Stevie J., and Dawn. Seriously, how did Dawn land a role on this show? There are so many extras getting screen time this season, it's confusing! Sleazo arrives ready to shut down the Inspector Gadget asses who are hell bent on taking down Hip Hop Weekly. Stevie promises 'Zino that he and Joseline are, in fact, married, but Mimi wants the magazine to print a retraction. Stevie thinks that Mimi must still love him to go to all of this trouble, and he taunts her with his best rat face, saying that he's his own country who doesn't need to follow the laws–or marriage license filings–of the regular folk. He stutters again on his wedding date. So, this is what makes a story line? Geez, Mona. You should've run with the sex tape for a few more episodes!
Here's hoping Andy Cohen has some very deep pockets, because the Real Housewives of Atlanta are hoping to milk their huge popularity for all it's worth! After an explosive reunion, there has been much speculation as to whether Queen B (as in "bloop!") NeNe Leakes will grace the network with her presence. Rumors have also been swirling as to the fates of Porsha Williams and Kenya Moore after their crazy brawl.
Talk about going from a love tank that's running on empty to one that may actually be overflowing! It seems that after a tumultuous relationship with winner Brooks Ayers, Vicki Gunvalson is finally playing the field!
Don't get too excited. No need to start thinking now that Vicki is making better decisions in the relationship department. The Real Housewives of Orange County OG still has Brooks in her dating rotation, but thankfully she's added others to the roster. In fact, sources are claiming that the Bravolebrity is dating both Brooks and attorney John Pulanski on whom we reported on back in April.
Ramona begins, "It seemed childish when Kristen was speaking to Heather and LuAnnabout me that Heather threw out all these negative nicknames for me. I would think they could discuss me without name calling…I really expected more from Heather, but perhaps she expected more from me in the Berkshires and felt justified."
Shannon Beador truly isn't your typical Bravolebrity it seems. Not only does the Real Housewives of Orange County feng shui her mouth, she also isn't following the normal reality star protocol which usually involves moving into a much bigger home after a small taste of fame regardless of whether they can afford it.
In fact, as we reported earlier in the week, Shannon and family are actually downsizing (gasp! Is that even a thing if you're an OC housewife??), and selling their current digs for the low, low price of $13,498,000. That seems to be the going rate for multiple kitchens, secret rooms, seven bedrooms, more than a dozen bathrooms, and a regulation size basketball court, right? Of course, because no housewife in the history of the franchise has voluntarily left a ginormous mansion for more modest living, rumors of marital discord began running rampant.
You all know Million Dollar Listing: New York is one of my guilty pleasures for Fredrik Eklund's karate moves alone. However, no one does frat boy charm and silly arrogance quite like Ryan Serhant. Those eyes. That pig (I miss you, Kevin Bacon!). Those suits (gracious, those suits). Sure, he often comes across as a cocky S.O.B., but I think he's a real softie underneath it all.
Of course, I should know given that I got to chat with Ryan before this season's premiere. Most exciting ten minutes of my March, by far. Sad, I know. I just like to remember it when I watch…like when he talked about the time capsule town house that was finally featured on last week's episode. Apparently, I'm not the only one that Ryan gives interviews to (I'm shocked–I thought we had something special), and he's opening up about his personal philosophy–and rumors of a MDL crossover!–in a new one.