Abby Lee Miller was back with a vengeance on last night's premiere of Dance Moms. At least they revamped the opener though, right? At the studio, Abby corrals the girls and their mothers for an announcement. Abby congratulates her Nationals winners while taking passive aggressive digs at everyone. She reveals that she will be holding open auditions in Atlanta, Orlando, and New York. Everyone is replaceable, y'all!
Chloe is at the bottom of the pyramid since Christi made such a scene with Leslie on Bourbon Street during Nationals and Abby gave them the boot. Christi hopes to focus more on her daughter's dancing and less on the mama drama this year. We'll see how long that lasts! Chloe apologizes to her team and promises to work her hardest. Peyton follows Chloe on the bottom for the same reason. Nia is the first actual Nationals participant to be on the bottom, followed by Brooke. Nia looks totally crestfallen, and Holly is upset. Nia is at every class and every extra practice. She is working her little bum off! Brooke is chastised for missing one class while attending New York Fasion Week (really?), and sister Paige is last on the middle tier since things just aren't clicking. Is it just me, or are these new head shots just too much? Mackenzie is next for being second in division at Nationals. Kendall is one spot away from the top of the pyramid when Abby announces that there's been a mistake. She switches out Nia's headshot for Kendall's. Jill is livid. Kendall tries not to cry as Abby complains about Kendall missing a week of booty camp to go on vacation. Maddie is on the top. Surprise, surprise!
Well, despite your best efforts to change the channel every time Bethenny Frankel's talk show comes on television, it looks like the show will back for a second season. Guess what? You're not the only ones not watching…the ratings have been consistently bad.
However, Bethenny, as you know, doesn't leave quietly, and many insiders are speculating that she'll return despite all the negativity that has plagued the show. Of course it will.
Two weeks off is a long time to be away from the crazy, delusional, bed-hopping cast of Love & Hip Hop, so I won't waste any time with an introduction. I know you've missed them as much as I have!
Tajiry Jose is so, so busy with her acting and modeling that's it's so nice to get a night off to enjoy New York Fashion Week. As she walks the red carpet, she's photo bombed by ex Joe Budden. At first she pretends to be disgusted, but she's happy to play up to the cameras. Joe tries to apologize for letting another woman lay in their bed. As she attempts to watch the show, Joe keeps trying to cop a feel. They leave in the rain, and Tajiry steals his sweater to shield her hair leaving a wet Professor standing on the sidewalk.
Amina Buddafly is catching up with sister Sophie who is visiting from Germany. She shares her marital woes, and Sophie recommends letting things remain status quo with Peter Gunz and Tara Wallace if she loves him so much. She certainly shouldn't patiently wait around for him to grow up because that is never going to happen!
She begins by putting her childless co-stars in their place, writing, "Kenya and Porsha have no clue about parenting, so let's just let them stay in their room and do their fake hug and cry. I love it! Moving on!"
Taking a dig at Apollo Nida, NeNe continues, "As Phaedra said, 'I have had problems with my son.' Now Phaedra you are entitled to your opinion, but the facts remain, you don't know anything about my children. Have you ever met Bryson? If so, it couldn’t have been but once. Remember you have two young boys to raise! Let's pray they don't do six years in prison, because you know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." I mean, is the sun even out anymore? Shade, shade, shade!
Well, dare I say that that some of the folks at Oh No They Didn't! may have a bit too much time on their hands? That, or someone at the site has the tragic (or fabulously awesome–I can't decide) job of monitoring Jenelle Evans every move on social media and dissecting them in light of her arrest record and the upcoming Teen Mom 2trailer.
Of course, as the age-old saying goes, "You can't out-twitter a tw@t twit" (or something like that) and now Jenelle is firing back at In Touch for picking up the story that claims she's been drinking during her pregnancy. You'll be totally shocked to learn this is all going down–where else?–Twitter.
Last night was thriving on the cul-de-sac with the return of Sister Wives and, more importantly, Kody Brown's hair. Everyone is thrilled to be in their homes, and everything is as it should be. Kody can run from house to house–it's the best exercise routine ever! The wives are glad that the kids are in such close proximity, but the ladies are still as independent as ever…in other words, they still despise one another. Even with a commitment ceremony looming, the women's interactions are incredibly awkward.
Now that some of the older kids are preparing for college, the family believes that a discussion about a tuition budget should be at the forefront. Kody is anti-student loans. He doesn't want his kids to have any college debt, as if that's entirely feasible. Thanks for reminding me of my debilitating law school debt, Kodster! With Meri about to be an empty nester and Mariah wanting to go to a much pricier school, Kody thinks Meri should shoulder more of the financial obligation.
Robyn has Meri's back, but Kody isn't budging. They call in Mariah to share "their reality," and Christine informs the high school senior that her full time job should be trying to find scholarships. With seventeen kids, no one should get a full ride. A tearful Mariah (when is she not tearful?) explains that she wants to reconnect with her Mormon faith. Janelle wants Mariah to be able to go to the school of her choice. Kody doesn't seem to be onboard with this wife mutiny, and he reminds everyone that he's the common denominator with the children. He's such a prize.
It appears that someone is still in the feeling the holiday spirit because Kanye West just gave us the best Christmas present ever. And I mean EVER! The tiny rapper has vowed to stop talking smack about everyone and everything for a while. He's promised us six months of Yeezus-free commentary. Thank you, sir.
Perhaps Kris Jenner has gotten her wish? You know she's behind this latest ploy. I should mention that 'Ye's latest declaration took place during a twenty-seven minute rant during his last Yeezus concert. Seriously, who goes to these things? It's not like he's going to perform!
Yolanda Foster's former husband Mohamed Hadid couldn't bear the thought of Lisa's remaining swan feeling lonely in its pond, so he bought it another companion. Lisa was clearly thrilled, but no one was more excited than Giggy!