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somaya jackie

Don't lie. Y'all have missed Somaya Reece since she departed from Love & Hip Hop. I know I have, and I certainly didn't have to refresh my memory as to what she looks like or the drama she caused during her tenure on VH1. Clearly it wasn't much or she'd likely still be on it!

I have to commend her from taking a break from scripted cat fights, girl drama, and drink tossing that has become synonymous with all VH1 reality shows.  But it begs the question…what is Somaya doing now?

The singer and former reality star recently checked in with the folks of The Jasmine Brand.  While Somaya is no longer gracing the small screen on L&HH, she's mastered the art of reality television stardom: do everything! Whether it's schlep a cocktail with your name on it or taking credit for some ghostwriter penning your life story, do it! I kid.  Kind of.

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joanna-krupa

Real Housewives of Miami has certainly come a long way from that snooze worthy first season, and this week's drama-fueled episode didn't disappoint. Between the triumphant return of Marysol Patton's fortune telling mother Mama Elsa (not that Lea Black acknowledged it!) to Joanna Krupa's televised sex therapy, there was a lot to digest.

Not surprisingly, Bravo's favorite potty-mouthed Polish beauty has her take on what happened, and she's never one to hold back. Joanna remains vehemently loyal to Lea and is quick to belittle her fiance's feelings in one breath and then praise him with the next. She's exhausting, no?

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preachers man cave

Last night was the premiere of Oxygen's Preachers of L.A.  To be honest, I am not really sure what to think. One guy looks like Billy Dee Williams and used to fancy the angel dust. I swear another one of the ministers is twins with D.J. Drew from Love & Hip Hop. They all drive ridiculously expensive luxury sports cars, and they appear to have more money than God.  Pun clearly intended.

I am extremely intrigued by the entire premise of the show.  It's likely going to be very controversial, and I apologize in advance if I offend anyone with my attempts to recap–and snark–on a show about men of the cloth.

We are first introduced to Bishop Dietrick Haddon.  He describes himself as "a preacher, a pastor, a gospel entertainer, and a Grammy nominee."  Impressive! He was called to minister at a young age, and he preached his first sermon at age eleven.

Dietrick married young and went through a contentious divorce. In the midst of the dramatic split, Dietrick relocated from Detroit to Los Angeles where he met Dominique. Soon after they started dating, Dominique became pregnant. Not yet divorced and fathering a child out of wedlock, Dietrick believed he had two strikes against him.  Now engaged to Dominique, he is working on making his choir an international success.

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draya-michele

They'll be back before you know it!  Yes, I'm talking about the less violent but equally ridiculous compared to their counterparts women of Basketball Wives: L.A. VH1 seems to have us in some sort of choke hold with these girls, yet I don't fight it. Odd, I know.

With some new cast members in the mix (and the Sisters Govan departing), hopefully there will be some new excitement in BBW: LA (read: not boring as heck).  Not surprisingly, the show's breakout star Draya Michele is all about promoting the series (and herself of course) to whoever will listen.

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nene gregg

It's nothing but drama with a capital NeNe "D" as NeNe and Gregg Leakes attempt to make it down the aisle yet again on the Bravo wedding spin-off I Dream Of NeNe. Last night's episode focused on mayjah issues with an obstinate wedding planner, but Gregg's jokes made the whole hour bearable.  Pass the Lawry's, won't you?

After instigating the fight to end all fights among her bride-maidzillas in Los Angeles, NeNe has brought Diana, Lexis, and Marlo Hampton together back in Atlanta to work through their issues.  Above everything else, these ladies need to know that above all, they are supposed to be supporting the Neenster.  It's going really well, I tell ya!  NeNe is tired of playing referee between Team Neenster Diana and Team Gregg Lexis.

Marlo then compares Diana's looks to that of a security guard, but quickly covers by saying that Diana has been a security guard for NeNe's friendship. Nice save! NeNe feels badly for her old pal, but she can't help but laugh.  Marlo forces Diana to hug it out, and here's hoping the bride-maids can be drama free for at least an episode.

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a & e upfronts 3 090512

They're not going anywhere, and I, for one, couldn't be more elated happy, happy, happy!  The phenomenon that is Duck Dynasty keeps spreading faith, humor, family values, and positivity, and it isn't going anywhere any time soon.

Y'all know I adore brother Silas and Phil Robertson, as well as brothers Willie, Jase, and Jep Robertson.  Heck, I love the entire flipping family…and their various memoirs (take that, housewives!).

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khloe-lamar-love

There is a lot going on in the land of pimpmomagers and kompass kids.  Poor Khloe Kardashian Odom is trying to fly below the radar as her marriage to Lamar Odom implodes due to cheating and substance abuse.

Meanwhile, her sister Kim Kardashian is probably jonesing to get BACK in the public eye with new daughter North.  Unfortunately for her, Kanye West doesn't want to have to share his child with the world. Lest we forget, this is not America's baby.

For Khloe, divorce rumors abound on the heels of Lamar's alleged mistresses, drug use, and DUI.  According to Extra TV, Khloe has found support in a rapper (Are we seeing a pattern…she marries an NBA player, Kim marries an NBA player?  Role reversal!)

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luann-de-lesseps-jill-zarin

That's hot cool. I don't even know what I'm allowed to say anymore. With all these celebrities reality stars trademarking things left and right.  Now, the Real Housewives of New York are jumping on the bandwagon.

Ramona Singer, LuAnn deLesseps, and Jill (remembah me?) Zarin have all trademarked their names, as well as some more interesting ideas. What's next? I'll have to drop a dollar in the tip jar every time I type out Pinot Singer? Will I actually have to spend money to buy class?

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