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Kim Zolciak Biermann and Kandi Burruss may be going head-to-head in Federal Court, but they're also facing off in your living rooms.  That's right!  It's Kandi vs. Kim: Ratings Edition!  

While Kandi is suing her former friend and Real Housewives of Atlanta co-star over the song Don't Be Tardy for the PartyKim may be having the last laugh over whose spin-off is garnering the most attention.  Viewers were right on time for the premiere of season two of Kim's Don't Be Tardy show, while last week no one seemed to want to party at The Kandi Factory.  I wonder how Kim will feel to learn that this week she actually gave her new nemesis' show a boost?

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Kourtney & Kim Take Miami - Season: 1

I don't know about y'all, but I'm excited to be one day closer to the weekend!  In Thursday's Kardashian news, former 98 Degrees front man Nick Lachey has some cryptic things to say about his romantic time with Kim Kardashian.  Am I the only one who totally forgot about their brief fling?  He basically confirms what we all already know…Kimmie loves the paps!

Also, Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian reveal that they are fine with their situation as is.  Neither predicts a big wedding anywhere in their future.  Again, no shocker there!

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I cannot get enough of the Robertson family, and I was so sad to learn that next week is the season finale!  So this season of Teen Mom is going to continue indefinitely (or until one of the girls finishes college…so forever), but we only get roughly six weeks of Si, Jase, Willie, and Phil?  Something is not right in the world of reality television.

Last night's Duck Dynasty begins as Godwin and Jase arrive at the warehouse (fun fact…Godwin used to be a bull rider.  I love him 8 seconds more than I did before!), and they are surprised to see a Harley parked in Willie's spot.  Whoever would violate Willie's sacred space?  Jase knows that there are two thinks you never mess with when it comes to Willie…his food and his coveted parking place.  Jase enters his younger brother's office to find Willie strumming an electric guitar.  When did Willie start playing?  And why is his beard now five shades darker than his hair?  It's almost black.  Willie reveals that he's been messing around with the strings on and off…since yesterday.  Mid-life crisis, anyone?  Jase informs Willie that someone has parked in his spot, but Willie isn't concerned.  The Harley is his.  It goes perfectly with the new Warrant t-shirt he bought on eBay.  Jase can't help but poke fun at his brother, sharing that Willie can barely ride a bicycle, much less a Hog.

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Gretchen-Rossi-Slade-Smiley-RHOC

He She went to Jared's?  Big news!  Gretchen Rossi decided to Skatell Slade Smiley she loved him with a surprise proposal.  That's right!  The Real Housewives of Orange County star reversed normal gender roles and popped the question to her love slave.

Don't worry.  The whole scenario was allegedly caught on film by Bravo's ever-present cameras, so you'll get to see the awkwardness and requisite emasculation in the comfort of your own living room.  Before I catch any slack, I don't think that a woman proposing is emasculating…it's just so cringe-worthy to see how Gretchen usually treats Slade.  Now that we've cleared up that potential miscommunication, let's get on to the good stuff!

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Watch What Happens Live - Season 9

As you know, I'll be sharing some Watch What Happens Live posts sporadically throughout the week, and for Monday's show, I was in full recap mode.  For last night's episode, I tried to go less recap/more highlight reel to see which style our wonderful readers prefer.  Please sound off with your opinions in the comments section!

Andy Cohen's guests last night were former Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak Biermann and Tony award winner and writer Harvey Fierstein.  The leading lady of Harvey's Broadway hit Kinky Boots is the bartender.  Harvey thinks Kim's hair is real (um, does he need glasses?), clarifying, if she bought it, it's really hers.  Fair enough.  If I close my eyes and just listen to Harvey's voice, I can easily picture Big Ang from Mob Wives!

The drinking game alert is "boots" (said thirty times throughout the show!), and we learn that Kim keeps all her old pregnancy tests.  Ew.

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On last night's Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller highlighted the competition among her smallest dancers, pitting an over-the-top Asia against an injured (cough, cough) MacKenzie.  Good times!

The girls and their moms pile into the studio for the pyramid reveal, and Abby is livid about the second place finish.  Loooserrzzz!  MacKenzie is in the bottom spot since she didn't dance due to her injury.  Paige follows her for doing a disservice to our nation by not properly holding the flag during the group number.  Perhaps there shouldn't have been a flag to mishandle in the first place, but what do I know?  Kendall  is next for her lack of focus, while Brooke rounds out the bottom rung.  Chloe starts the middle level, followed by NiaHolly couldn't be more proud.  Asia is number two for winning her division, and Maddie finds herself back on top.  She is, after all, America the Beautiful.  What the…?

Abby questions where MacKenzie's air cast is.  She's still injured, right?  MacKenzie claims that she's able to dance, while Melissa urges her daughter to tell Abby what the doctor told her….if she feels 100%, she can participate.  Abby wonders if MacKenzie returned to her doctor for this news, and Melissa explains that she didn't, but MacKenzie knows her own body well enough to know if she's okay to dance.  Abby knows what's going on (someone doesn't like being replaced by Asia!), and she tells Melissa that the doctor originally said two weeks, so she's going to make MacKenzie sit out for two weeks.  She doesn't want to trust an over-the-phone diagnosis.

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Well this news should come as a shock to absolutely no one!  Kris Humphries is pushing to have cameras in the courtroom to memorialize the divorce proceedings between him and Kim Kardashian.  It's appropriate that Kris would want the trial filmed given his annulment argument is based on the fact his marriage was based solely in reality ratings.  Kim, however, does not want any of their legal drama caught on tape, which is odd considering she can't seem to breathe without at least a dozen cameras on her at one time.  I guess she doesn't want certain things revealed to the world.  Hmmm….what secrets could Kimmie be keeping?

While Kim is dealing with even more drama from her last relationship, she's also facing some hardships with her current beau and baby daddy Kanye West.  Apparently, he's not sticking up for his woman in the manner Kim would hope.  After Ray J dropped his latest single "I Hit It First," it's been crickets from the Kardashian Kamp and the kontroversial rapper who isn't known for keeping his mouth shut.  Trouble in tiny rapper paradise?

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camille wwhl

On last night's Watch What Happens Live, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Camille Grammer graced Andy Cohen with her presence in the clubhouse.  Joining her was rocker – and Ashlee Simpson ex – Pete Wentz, who will be hosting a new tattoo competition show on Oxygen.  Andy addresses the tragedy in Boston, and declares it a night where everyone needs a drink.  That said, there is no drinking game word…you just drink when the word "Drink" flashes across the screen.  Seems easy enough for me!  The bartender is the guy who designed the logo that is Andy's face which can be found on most of the Mazel products. 

Andy opens the vault to reveal two clips of Camille scantily dressed and dancing on '90's late night shows.  She admits to having a breast reduction since those glory days.  My, my, my!  Those are some jugs.  Pete compliments the current state of Camille's rack.  The poll question involves Real Housewives of Orange County, and Andy wonders if Briana had the right to ban Brooks Ayers from her mother's house. 

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