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lisa dwts

If you think the Satin Queen of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is as fabulous as I do, then you'll be glued to your televisions to watch Lisa Vanderpumpupthejam compete on Dancing with the Stars.  As the first star from the Bravo franchise to dance on the show, Lisa no doubt has a fan base capable of keeping her on the show for the long haul.

Not surprisingly, Lisa is approaching the reality competition like she does everything else in her life…with hard work and her biting wit.  Oh, and Giggy of course!  She'll be dancing with new pro Gleb Savchenko, and from the looks of things, Lisa is fierce as ever!

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rhobh taylor john

Viewers of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have never felt indifferent towards the resident duck-lipped, wine swilling misfit of Rodeo Drive.  No, I'm not talking about Kim Richards.  Taylor Armstrong always garners strong feelings from fans of the show.  The woman once packed herself in a suitcase for goodness' sake!  However, this season, Taylor, while still every bit the train wreck of seasons past, has certainly come into her own.  

Taylor is no longer kissing the arses of her wealthy co-stars, and she's even taken to making fun of herself on Watch What Happens Live.  Now, she's waxing poetic about her new beau who, as you all remember, was her married attorney John Bluher.  Things are looking up for Ms. Hughes!

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DanceMoms

She's a screaming mess most of the time who likes to play drill sergeant with her pupils.  Sometimes it seems that she spends more time at war with her dancer's mothers than actually teaching her girls how to dance.  She tends to take great pleasure in trying to pit preteen girls against one another for the sake of healthy competition.  Whoever could I be talking about?  Y'all know!  It's Abby Lee Miller of Lifetime's Dance Moms!

Abby has been repeatedly criticized for her questionable teaching methods, but she does appear to get results.  Her dancers are incredibly talented.  While she has never danced professionally, Abby started the Abby Lee Dance Company when she was just fourteen years old.  That explains even more some of the history between her and Kelly!  

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love and hip hop atl

Let's take a quick poll, shall we?  What would you rather watch–the original Love & Hip Hop or the astonishingly crazy, can't look away train wreck that is Love & Hip Hop Atlanta?  I don't even need to tally the votes.  VH1 needs to learn that if it's going to air a scripted, polished soap opera while calling it a reality show, we need to see more craziness a la Joseline.  Am I right?

While most viewers are politely watching this season, I can't help but think that they are doing so out of respect for the new member of the L&HH franchise.  If we're going to watch fake reality television, the network should be decent enough to give us more ridiculous drama.  Is that asking too much?  Apparently not…read on!

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dd5

Season three of Duck Dynasty with the Robertson family is turning out to be everything I'd hoped for and more.  We're treated to an endless supply of Si's one-liners, and Jase is still doing everything in his power to get under brother Willie's skin.  After all of these years, Phil is still hot for Kay, and there is no question as to how much love this family shares.  Wednesday nights are great.

Last night's first episode begins with the boys comparing their beards in the warehouse.  Who has the longest beard?  Who has the thickest beard?  Don't know?  Let's ask Si who has an arsenal of beard jokes which reference 60 Minutes, Dora the Explorer, and Chewbacca.  Si rules.  Willie is going out of town for the day, and he needs his boys to make sure that business continues as usual.  All Willie asks of Jase is that he signs for a package at 4 o' clock.  We'll see how this goes!

At Phil and Miss Kay's, their grandson and his friend come by, but they are unaware that Phil has plans to teach them them the ways of the world.  The boys are clueless as Phil whistles his words of wisdom.  Meanwhile, in the warehouse, the guys are debating their favorite duck blinds to hunt.  Si chuckles about Willie's absence, and Jase is happy to appease whatever dare his uncle is introducing.  The men pile into Jase's truck and head out into the woods.  The guys are in the wilderness debating wrestling lore.  I adore the fact that Si travels with his own gallon of tea.  Si spots a black cat cross the blind, and Jase finds it hilarious that most people think that black cats are bad luck.  Si claims it's a panther.  Wait, did the guys lock themselves out of the truck?

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yolanda-hadid-full

When life hands you lemons, cue a David Foster movie score and pretend like you're Yolanda Foster.  That's my motto, at least!  Yolanda has a regal way of shushing the most classless of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and her disdain of Kyle Richards makes me like her even more.  She's my Lisa Vanderpump 2.0.  

After the ladies' Parisian vacation, Yolanda seemed to let her guard down around her co-stars.  She reached out to a clearly struggling Kim Richards, only to have it come back and bite her in the toned and cleansed arse.  But Yolanda is so busy juggling her lemons, her laundry, and her magnificent refrigerator that she doesn't have time to let the pettiness get to her.  Take that, Splits!

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Heather Thompson RHONY

You've all missed Real Housewives of New York's Heather Thomson, haven't you?  I'll be honest.  She grew on me during her first season on the Bravo reality series.  Girlfriend loves to talk business and wear a bedazzled tee to a cocktail function, that's for sure!  Holla!

Now Heather, as the creator of Yummie Tummie shapewear, is ready to face off against her mortal enemy–Jill Zarin's Skweez Spanx!  This has the potential to get ugly…while remaining smooth and free of cellulite bulges and panty lines, of course!

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chris-harrison-sean-lowe
 
It's no secret to any of you that I adore Bachelor host Chris Harrison.  He's equal parts diplomatic, fatherly, and humorous.  He doesn't mince words.  He wears ties that could not be pulled off by the average gentleman.  In fact, the only complaint I've ever had about Mr. Harrison was his lapse in judgment when he went out with Justin Bieber's mom (more on her later!).  Chris is now speaking out Sean Lowe's engagement to Catherine Giudici and ABC's pick for Desiree Hartsock for the Bachelorette.  
 
Chris even expresses his disdain for Sean choosing to do Dancing with the Stars because he believes people will perceive him as being a "famewhore" who didn't do the Bachelor for the right reasons.  Remember what I said about him not mincing words?  Love it!  Meanwhile, The Biebs' mom Patti Mallette was live-tweeting all over the place during Monday night's broadcast…perhaps trying to pique the interest of a certain debonair host?
 
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