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Last night's Duck Dynasty episodes were all about everyone's favorite Si Robertson.  Whether he's taste testing pizza or pulling the limbs off of mannequins, he promises entertaining television.  Likewise, Phil Robertson's deadpan delivery is fabulous, as is watching poor Willie try to reign in brother Jase and the rest of the warehouse crew.  Thank you, A&E, for reviving my Wednesday nights!

To celebrate their five millionth duck call (or at least some duck call), Willie has put together a casino night at the warehouse.  He actually has no clue how many duck calls his company has produced, but he wants to do something special for his employees.  The top three chip holders will each receive a prize.  Jase is appalled by his brother's idea of what constitutes a prize.  Third place will win a bottle of Willie's Mallard Merlot, and second place is lucky enough to get an autographed copy Willie's unpublished manuscript.  Jase has found better prizes in a Happy Meal.  However, everyone is excited to hear who will win the grand prize…a two thousand dollar gift card.  Si wins the money, and the brothers know they will be hearing about his victory for weeks.  Si can't help it he's such a big winner…go ahead and brush those shoulders off, y'all!

Si uses his winning to purchase a leather massage chair which he sets up in the warehouse.  The recliner sounds like a Nascar race.   Si prompts a doubting Jase to try it out, and he's quickly swayed as to how wonderful it is.  Willie enjoys it as well, although he doesn't want it in the warehouse…the guys will never get any of their work done! 

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cynthia twitter

Do you or someone you know have a daughter between the ages of five and eighteen who can twerk it on the pageant stage?  If so, Real Housewives of Atlanta's Cynthia Bailey is looking for her!  The model turned agency owner is putting on another pageant…you know, after that first one was such a success!  The fierce Ms. Bailey is now registering young ladies to compete in her 2013 Renaissance Pageant.  

I can say with confidence that Cynthia is currently honing her craft of finding the most beautiful and talented girls while acting as a modeling judge during Charleston Fashion Week.  If you think I was stalking her when I attended one of the shows last night, you would be correct!  Unfortunately, Cynthia isn't arriving until today (thanks, Twitter!), but the gorgeous girl I went to support (one of my former first grade students–my, they grow up so fast!), promised to report back with all things Cynthia throughout the remainder of the week, and Cynthia will be judging her on Friday when she walks as one of the top ten models of the week.  Sorry, I'm just so proud!  :) 

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE INFO ON CYNTHIA'S PAGEANT! 

odoms

You know one thing I've noticed?  When Khloe Kardashian Odom is in the tabloids, it's usually some twisted rumor perpetuated by paparazzi photos.  When her sister Kim Kardashian is in the tabloids, she's usually put herself there willingly in a misguided attempt to get more attention.  Unfortunately for Kim, it never works out how she planned, and the backlash is usually hilarious for the rest of us. 

Yesterday, a photo of Khloe hugging a man who is not husband Lamar Odom surfaced, so clearly the girl is having a scandalous affair…that, or she and brother Rob are participating in a rapper friend's fitness program.  The former sounds more exciting though, doesn't it?  Meanwhile, Kim is trying to rid herself of all things Kris Humphries before all of her love child with Kanye West is born.  While I'm assuming she's trying to garner sympathy, hawking high-end designer shoes and a one-of-a-kind clutch to the highest bidder on ebay doesn't make me feel all that badly for poor Kimmie.  Go figure.  At least she's doing it for charity…a "portion" of the proceeds go to Life Change Community Church.  You know, the church her mother Kris Jenner co-founded.

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kim4

Kim Zolciak-Biermann isn't going to let a silly law suit get her down when she's building her dream house with husband Kroy.  The former Real Housewives of Atlanta star has been sharing pictures of the work in progress on her Instagram.  Apparently there is a lot of hard work that goes into touring a home you're having someone else build and design.  Although, I'm sure Kim will add contractor to her resume, just like she's likely added songwriter and wig maker. WIG!

Kim recently tweeted, "Building is no joke! So Time consuming and if I wasn't such a perfectionist it would go a hell of a lot quicker! Lol"

Later, Kim shared with her followers, "Just sold one of our houses!!! Yahoo less to deal with!" Well, that IS good news.  How many houses does she have?  I find this announcement to be a tad suspect, but hey, more power to her!  Check out pictures of Kim touring her new manse after the jump and weigh in with what you think in the comments section!

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO SEE PICS OF KIM'S HOME! 

dm4

Another Tuesday, another two hour Dance Moms with Abby Lee Miller.  In my opinion, last night's performances were out of this world, but I just can't take anything seriously when it comes to Kathy and her Candy Apples.  She's playing a role…she has to be, right?

As the super-sized episode begins, the moms can only imagine how Abby is going to react to seventh place over all in the group number given how livid she gets when they get second.  Not shockingly, MacKenzie is on the bottom for messing around on her "injured" foot, and Abby benches her for the upcoming competition.  Paige and Brooke also land on the bottom for being good but not great.  Abby doesn't think Brooke actually wants to dance.  Chloe is called next, and Christi is determined to bite her tongue to make sure her daughter is able to keep dancing.  Yet again, Maddie's eyes glass over with tears when she lands second to Kendall's new headshot.  The moms, especially Holly, think Jill gets sneakier every week, but she doesn't dwell too long because she's estatic when Nia graces the top of the pyramid.  Abby compares Nia to Beyonce and praises her facial expressions.  I am so happy for Nia.

This week, the group will be competing in Cincinnati, and Abby is worried that Kathy and her Candy Apples will also be in attendance.  The group routine it about Rosa Parks, and Holly hopes that Nia will get to play Rosa.  Abby isn't giving out the lead role just yet, and she takes the opportunity to call out Holly's outfit.  Kendall gets a solo, as does Maddie, but not before Abby can remind her that she keeps coming up short in her routines.  Abby grants Paige the duet with Chloe that she's been wanting.  She tells Paige she's been waiting for her to dance up to Chloe's level…and now, lucky for her, Chloe is dancing down to her level.  Way to ruin the moment. 

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phil-robertson-profile

I am sure it will come as a shock to no one that I've already pre-ordered a copy of Phil Robertson's new book Happy, Happy, Happy: My Life and Legacy as the Duck Commander which hits shelves May 7th.  Even if I wasn't obsessed with A&E's Duck Dynasty and the Roberston family, the title alone would have intrigued me.  

I love everything about these people–their closeness, their strong faith, their loyalty, and their devotion to one another.  Underneath those beards, there is more wit, substance, and intelligence than most of the housewives franchise combined.  And, unlike the majority of the housewives, the Robertsons are honest about where they came from, what they stand for, and who they are.  

Phil isn't afraid to admit he spent some time mixed up in the "sex, drugs, and rock and roll" when he was younger, and the family uses their reality fame to help the less fortunate.  Hmmm, it sounds like those who don't necessarily look the part are certainly doing their part…somewhere Mama June is eating her sketti with a satisfactory grin…

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pia

Ouch.  Apparently leaking your own nudie pictures isn't the best way to get Hugh Hefner's attention.  I guess it's another life lesson learned for Pia Rizza.  As  you recall, the forty-year-old Mob Wives Chicago star recently shared some naked selfies in order to "preempt" an ex-boyfriend from beating her to the punch.  Sure.  Cough, cough.

Unfortunately for Pia, Playboy has spoken, and the magazine isn't interested in having her model.  Poor thing.

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tm2

I don't know about you, but I wish the producers of Teen Mom 2 would ban their little starlets from any type of social media and ban them from the tabloids…at least during the season.  I'd be a lot more inclined to root for Jenelle Evans if I didn't know what a train wreck she's become.  Also, I'd be more invested in Leah Messer Simms Calvert's love triangle and Kailyn Lowry's attempt to make Jo jealous if I didn't already know the ending.  As for Chelsea Houska, I'm glad to see that beauty school is going so well…but that's the only surprise of the season!

Kailyn is finished with school for the summer, and she's excited to spend more time with Javi and Isaac.  I'll give it to Javi…he's really great with Isaac.  Of course, she's yet to set up any kind of co-parenting counseling with Jo.  Kailyn is ready for Javi to move in since he's spent every night at her place for months.  Let's break it down…she's ready for Javi to stop freeloading and help with the rent and the cleaning.  Kailyn admits she doesn't want to hold against him the fact that she foots the bill should the two argue.  Again, I find it hilarious (and I know I write this every week!) that she wants a live-in boyfriend, yet Jo's girlfriend can't even be on the same premises as Isaac.  Kailyn is just ready to get married.  At twenty, she isn't getting any younger.  MTV needs a swift kick in the pants for glorifying these girls!

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