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Last night's Duck Dynasty was rather risque for Robertson standards.  There was bathroom humor, shrinkage concerns, and Miss Kay got super sassy talking about the birds and the bees.  Willie fancied himself an action hero, while Jase took great pleasure in ribbing his brother.  Si has never been colder than he was in 'Nam, and Phil just shook his head at the insanity of it all.  Good times, for sure!

Willie and Jase are touring a giant Bass Pro Shop after being offered a large space to sell their Duck Commander products.  While Willie is trying to work on a deal, Jase is hoping to score free stuff and tossing out horrible neon laden ideas.  Is it just me, or is Jase a Si in training?  The guys decide that a blown up photograph of the Robertson boys is just what the space needs.

At the warehouse, Martin and Godwin are playing Go Fish (don't they know that it's super hard to play that with just two people?) and Si is watching Jep play Donkey Kong on a Gameboy.  Jase wonders why the boys are being so old school with their game choices, but Si reminds him that the simplest of games are the most fun…Kick the Can, horseshoes, lawn darts–if you are fortunate enough to actually survive a game of deadly lawn darts!  Willie arrives and shares the news that the boys will be doing a photo shoot for their Bass Pro Shop space.  After major eyerolling from Jase, Jep offers to take the pictures so he can 1) test out his new camera; and 2) avoid being memorialized forever in whatever craziness Willie has in mind.  The photo session is set for Saturday–oh, wait…Jep isn't available on Saturday.  He has his dodge ball league play-offs.  Si likes the sound of that.  He loves the idea of the duck, dive, and jive!

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Bravo has just announced a slew of new reality shows, and it's no surprise that the network is cashing in by giving spin-offs to the stars of some its most popular series.  Given that Real Housewives of Atlanta is the most watched show in Bravo's history, two of its ladies made the list.

Kandi Burruss has been working on The Kandi Factory for what seems like ages.  Her show will follow the singer/songwriter/reality star as she mentors up and coming artists who are recording their first single and creating their own music video.  It seems very fitting.  Kandi's RHOA co-star Phaedra Parks is also getting her own show…and she's basically Atlanta's answer to Judge Judy.  Also fitting.

Who should feel the need to weigh in on Phaedra's new series?  Why it's none other than fomer (booted) Atlanta housewife Sheree Whitfield!

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Only three ladies from the Real Housewives of New York were present at the Bravo Upfront Presentations last night.  Carole Radziwill, Ramona "Pinot" Singer, and Heather "Holla" Thompson walked the blue carpet together, but LuAnn de Lesseps, Sonja Morgan, and Aviva Drescher were noticeably absent.

There has been a lot of rumors swirling around the upcoming season, and filming has already been pushed back once to address casting concerns.  Now that the RHONY cameras start rolling in a few weeks with a projected summer premiere, many are starting to buzz about just who will make the final cut.

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I know what y'all are watching on Bravo, that's for sure.  The ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta continue to break records in their fifth season…with all the drama there is a reason RHOA is the network's most watched show!  Close your legs to married men, WIG!

The women of the Peach State are notorious for bringing the crazy both on and off screen, and we've watched several of them work their way up from practically nothing to be huge success stories.  Of course, it goes both ways with some of the former ladies living far above their means.  Whether they are decorating ginormous marble-ladden, diamond encrusted houses of tackiness, drafting friendship contracts or recording catchy songs (Gone with the Wind Fabulous, anyone?), the ladies of RHOA are totally addicting!

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey - Season 5

If y'all are anything like me, you're waiting on pins and needles for the premiere of season five of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.  Season four went out with a bang, so I can only imagine the drama that will ensue among Teresa Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Melissa Gorga, Kathy Wakile, and Carolina Manzo.  Thankfully, we only have to wait a couple more months, as the craziness starts on June 2nd!

As if you don't already know these ladies better than some of your family members, Bravo always likes to update the women's bios with all things bright and happy.  There is nary a mention of Posche fashion shows or strippers or a cousin Rosie meltdown.  You've got to love Bravo's positive spin!  In anticipation of the new season, let's re-introduce ourselves to the Jersey girls, shall we?  

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You never know which Abby Lee Miller you're going to get when you tune in to Dance Moms.  Will she be nice?  Excited?  Motivational?  Nah, she just loves stirring the pot, causing rifts between the mothers, and planning for the downfall of Cathy and her Candy Apples.  Perhaps she'll throw in some taxidermy along the way…

We begin, as always, with pyramid time.  Thankfully, the girls are coming off a big win at last week's competition.  Abby switches it up by starting at the top…and Maddie is right back where she's always been.  On the next rung is an excited PaigeKendall joins Paige for being third, which, according to Abby, is better than second.  Chloe is in the next spot even though she's been consistent with her top notch dancing.  Nia is first on the bottom for flying under the radar.  She's good, but not great.  MacKenzie follows with Brooke who didn't dance last week…per Abby's orders.  Abby shocks her troupes by adding Asia to the bottom of the pyramid as the newest team member.  Asia competed on Abby's other show, and Abby warns the mothers about running off another mom.

This week, the dancers are heading to Michigan, and Cathy and her Candy Apples will be in attendance.  The group number is called "Return to Grace," and it focuses on reincarnation.  MacKenzie and Asia will be sitting out the group number.  Kendall, Maddie, and Chloe will be dancing a jazz trio.  Asia is gifted the only solo.  As Abby works on the group number, the moms (especially Jill) are curious to see what the new mom will bring to the table. 

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What's better than one hour with Chelsea Houska, Leah Messer Sims Calvert, Jenelle Evans, and Kailyn Lowry?  Why two hours, of course!  Monday's Teen Mom gave us a double dose, and here's the recap for the second hour.  I'm almost as exhausted from writing about it as these chicks have to be living it.  Gracious!

The second hour begins after Leah and Jeremy's courthouse nuptials.  The couple can finally qualify for a joint loan on their dream home.  Due to the added expenses, Leah wants to ask Corey for more child support…because he should totally help pay her mortgage.  I kid, I kid, he needs to be supporting his daughters to the best of his ability.  Leah's heard through the grapevine that Corey has gotten a raise, so she calls him to see if he's willing to modify their agreement without going through the courts.  When he asks for her reasons, she offers up that he needs to pay more for the twins' clothing.  He's willing to discuss it when they meet to trade off the girls.

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Last night we were treated to two marriage themed episodes of Teen Mom.  So as to not cause our readers to overdose on all things Jenelle Evans, Kailyn Lowry, Chelsea Houska, and Leah Messer Sims Calvert, we're splitting up the recaps.  It's just our way of letting our wonderful readers recoup from one hour of the train wreck to the next.  All in all, it was a night of proposals, weddings, and tears made in MTV heaven. 

Jenelle and Gary are back in full romance mode, and her roommate questions whether Jenelle truly loves Gary or if she just hates being alone.  Jenelle assures her that she isn't with Gary just because he's in the military and will make good money.  He's good with Jace, and she just doesn't have the energy to look for another relationship.  Jenelle admits that they both pick fights on purpose because they love the drama.  All of those are wonderful reasons to stay with someone, right?  Her roommate begs Jenelle not to accept any marriage proposals from Gary because the two clearly aren't ready to get married.  Jenelle can't make any promises.

Speaking of marriage, Leah and Gary really want to get a loan on their dream house, and they are considering getting married at the courthouse before their actual planned wedding ceremony.  She informs her mom of their plan, and her mom is fine with their plan.  Her mom wants her to tell Corey beforehand, but she's excited when Leah asks her to be a witness.  After chatting with her mom, Leah shares her early wedding plans with her sister.

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