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brandi scheana

I can hear my mom's words of wisdom echoing in my ears…"If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you!"  Granted, I've never cheated with–or on–anyone (but, well, there was high school.  Does that count?), but it's advice that totally translates into the grown-up world.  However, can we technically call LeAnn Rimes an adult?  She's constantly tearlessly crying in interviews about never having the opportunity to be a child, so perhaps she's regressed.  Regardless, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville is likely smug upon hearing this latest gossip.

A quick breakdown (as if y'all need it): Brandi's husband Eddie Cibrian cheated on her with SUR waitress Scheana Marie Jancan (that is no one's given name!).  When Eddie then cheated with LeAnn, Scheana went to the press to complain about how heartbroken she was when her affair ended because Eddie found another mistress.  High five, Brandi!  You came out on top of this cluster for sure! 

I don't know about you, but I find it very fishy that this news is coming to light way after it acutally happened.  Funny how Bravo is trying to promote Lisa Vanderpump's (love her!) new show Vanderpump Rules on which Scheana plays a bullied, overly sexed, wannabe pop star waitress…It's what publicity stunts are made of, right?

Gracious though, when you read Sheana's interview, which occurred after her sit-down with Brandi, you'll shake your head and wonder if she has a publicist.  Sheana is still taking shots at Brandi while playing the victim.  Um, I'm sorry.  I don't care how horrid the woman was whose husband you were bedding, you're still the other woman.  She can call you names, and she can be mean to you.  You slept with her husband!  I'm speaking to Scheana in first person because she strikes me as the type of fame hungry girl that will read every blog written about her.  Scheana, I'm not hating, I'm just trying to give you some sincere feedback.  Oh, and by the way, NEVER record that breathy porn song you sang on Vanderpump Rules.  The world, and iTunes, sends their thanks.

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kim kanye

Y'all realize that, no matter what, the Kardashians aren't going anywhere any time soon.  That said, don't shoot the messenger!  Actually, today's Kardashian trash is at least humorous enough to provide some sort of entertainment.

Here's a quick breakdown:  Kim Kardashian doesn't want to still be married to Kris Humphries when she gives birth (but there is quite a catch!), and Kim and Kanye West maintain that Kimye, Jr. will not be a part of E!'s fall line-up.  Again, I'll believe that when I see it!  Finally, the young Kendall Jenner doesn't want to follow in her family's famewhoring footsteps.  Sure. 

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta - Season 5

Real Housewives of Atlanta continues to be a favorite among the Bravo franchise, which is amazing.  It's rare that a show can bring in new and volatile cast members and still remain on top of the ratings.  If you've been watching RHOA, you know that Kenya Moore fancies herself the show's new break-out star

Of course, for me, it's refreshing to hear from someone other than Kenya.  The usually quiet (give or take a housewives spat) Porsha Stewart has found her voice, and she wants to be known for her philanthropy moreso than any RHOA drama.  Can you blame her?  In the meantime, Porsha is working really hard to remember how many days are in a year.  365, Porsha, three hundred and sixty-five.

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kyle-kim-richards

I always wanted a sister, and maybe that's why it is so heartbreaking for me to see the demise of Kim Richards and Kyle "Splits" Richards relationship on the past and present seasons of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  Check that.  If I'd had a sister, there is no question we would fight like cats and dogs (I'm feisty!).  However, no imaginary sister of mine would have been cool enough in my younger years to carry Disney's Witch Mountain franchise.  Furthermore, had I been blessed with two sisters, the lesser known, but very flexible one could never have pulled off starring along side Bette Davis in the freaky Watcher In The Woods.  NERAK! 

I realize that I often reference this movie when discussing Splits, but it's amazing.  I'd tell you to Redbox it, but you probably need to find your local dying Blockbuster to locate it and see Splits in all of her supernatural glory.  I feel like knowing the Richards sisters' past makes me more cognizant of their present.  A sober Kim is clearly ridding herself of the demons that found her playing the teenage breadwinner, and Kyle is still uber-jealous that her older sister was the breakout child star.  I should stop playing arm chair psychiatrist and get on with the post, right?  My apologies.

Thankfully, now that the season we're currently watching has wrapped, everything seems to be much better with the Richards sisters.  Thank goodness.  Their family drama was painful to endure…at best!

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the-bachelor-season-17-sean-lowe-lindsay-yenter

This was a good week for our favorite reality shows!  It seems that everyone is getting back into the swing of 2013, and with a routine comes our favorite old habits…watching some of the most fantastically trashy television series known to man. 

Lots of networks premiered new seasons of their hit shows, while Bravo maintains steady viewership for its shows that bridged the holiday season.  Whether you were tuning in to Here Comes Honey Boo, NeNe Leakes (WIG!), or Sean this season is going to bLowe try to find love, you were certainly watching!

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Kim Kardashian rings in the New Year at 1 Oak Nightclub at The Mirage Resort and Casino Las Vegas, NV

It's official!  Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are moving in together.  Unfortunately for us, the house is on this planet.  Despite my best efforts to convince Sir Richard Branson, he refuses to offer them a free space flight and leave them stranded on the moon.  I really tried to pull some strings.  Sorry.

As you all can imagine, the tiny rapper and his poorly dressed lady love (I have to remind y'all of this.  Seriously?) aren't just moving into any house.  To paraphrase a drunk Kanye, I'm gonna let you talk, but this is the best house of all time.  For realsies. 

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snooki

Oompah Loompah, Doopity Doo, Snooki wants another baby, it's true!  Twenty-five-year-old Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is a new mom to baby Lorenzo with her fiance Jionni LaValle.  We watched her pregnancy progress on the final season of JS, and we'll get to the birth on this season of Snooki & JWoww

Like a good meatball, Snooki wants lots of kiddos with her gorilla juicehead.  They seem to make adorable babies together, so I am sure Lorenzo won't have any grenades as siblings.

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