Hey y'all…want to know a quick and easy way to pay for culinary school and get your Master's degree? If you answered "apply for scholarships and student loans" you'd be sorely mistaken. Take a lesson from Farrah Abraham and achieve these goals by shopping around a manufactured home movie of the adult variety. Ah, youth.
That's right! The former Teen Mom wants to make all of her educational dreams come true, and she's now going to be able to make those dreams a reality thanks to a little film called Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Take that, Sallie Mae! Farrah doesn't need your federal funds to reach her collegiate aspirations.
Oh, it's on! Last night's two hour Dance Moms finale pitted Apples against Abby Lee Miller in an epic battle of boys versus girls. There was drama, there were tears, and, of course, there was awesome dancing!
The ALDC is still in New York City for the competition. Maddie, Asia, Kendall, and Chloe all have solos, and Abby is focusing on those girls as opposed to the group number. Kelly wants to take Brooke to meet with a music producer while her daughter has some down time. Abby dismisses Brooke although she thinks it's quite a joke. Chloe is working on her number "My Obsession." Is she obsessed with winning? Dancing? What? Poor Chloe. The original Christi chastises Kristie 2.0 for not being more fired up about Asia being pulled from The View performance. Kristie claims that she and her daughter looked at The View number as any other audition. No big deal. That irks the other mothers to no end.
Kelly and Brooke are meeting with a music producer who is excited about the fact that Brooke's last single garnered 25,000+ downloads on iTunes. He decides to introduce her to a former Pussycat Doll. Emphasis on "former" or else she wouldn't be hanging out on the finale of Dance Moms. She gives Brooke some guidance on breathing as if you really have to pee. Is this how voice lessons work?
You know what that means…a certain be-wigged one will be holding down the fort for Bravo's Tuesday night line-up. Will Kim Zolciak Biermann be vying for a schedule change for Don't Be Tardy? Hear that? It's the sound of a hundred wigs crying…
Just so you know, the always fabulous Real Housewives of New Jersey preteen G-to-the-I-A may be tweeting away, but that doesn't mean that her mom Teresa Giudice isn't monitoring what her daughter is doing online. She wants to make sure that her daughter is LOLing in the appropriate manner…and that means not using any bad language, even in abbreviations (or 'breves as I like to call them).
Gia recently tweeted the above picture with the caption "Omg.. My mom played softball. #lmfao @Teresa_Giudice" Cute, right? Not to Tre, who quickly responded, "@TrueGia don't say "f"! It's lmao for you. Wait don't say "a" either. How about lmbo?"
Oh Teen Mom 2, whatever are we going to do without you? Last night we bid a ninety minute farewell to Leah Messer Sims Calvert, Jenelle Evans, Kailyn Lowry, and Chelsea Houska, and MTV has yet to confirm whether they'll be back for more (please, no). While we'll be able to keep up with Jenelle thanks to her constant arrests and rehab stints, how will keep tabs on our other favorite whiny and entitled reality stars? What will become of Corey's camo hat? Will Kieffer Delp be successful in his pipe selling endeavors? So many unanswered questions–I can't bear the thought of it…
Of course, I jest. Last night, I cried when Corey cried, and I felt such pain for Barbara as she struggled with losing her daughter to heroin. I'm excited that Chelsea seems to be maturing–here's hoping she keeps up the good work. These girls need to stay out of the limelight, and I really need for Jenelle to get her life in order before she ends up dead. I can't imagine the only memories that Jace has of his mom being the same we've seen on the series.
The episode begins as Leah and Jeremy discuss Ali's big doctor's appointment over date night. Jeremy has taken time off from work so he can be with his wife as she deals with the stress of facing Ali's potential diagnosis.
After Stevie spends the night with Joseline, she decides that she can't handle a relationship with him knowing that Mimi is never going away. Joseline wants to focus solely on her career, and she requests Stevie's undivided attention if he wants to stick around. He asks her to make him breakfast before she starts her day, but Joseline is no fool. She hits the road and leaves Stevie hungry.
Erica Dixon tells fiance Scrappy that her mother is having issues with their wedding. She wishes her mom would be more supportive, and Scrappy is tired of both of their mothers overstepping their boundaries. While Erica knows she'll never have Momma Dee on her side, she is confident that she can get her mom on the same page as Scrappy if she can arrange a sit down for the duo. Scrappy concedes…he'll let Erica's mom get to know him–and his multiple personalities.
It's a great week for Teen Mom'sFarrah Abraham, and it's only Tuesday! She lives such a charmed life, doesn't she? In light of her recent DUI woes and adult film aspirations, you'd think life would be hard for the former reality star. However, Farrah always seems to come out on top…I mean, I haven't seen the video (and I can assure you I never will), but I'm guessing that she does. Too much?
Not only did the twenty-one-year-old ink a deal to start selling that bad boy of a sex tape, she's also ready to go with her DUI case. Guess what, y'all? She's NOT GUILTY!
Oh, Welcome to Myrtle Manor–you keep making South Carolina proud! The Learning Channel show follows the inhabitants of a Southern trailer park, and the cast is determined to make a name for themselves…maybe not through ratings, but through arrests.
In the last week, three of the cast mates were popped by the po-po with two being arrested over the weekend. Now two of the Myrtle Manor residents are facing DUI charges while another faces allegations of sexual acts with a minor. Oh goodness!