As if y'all didn't already know it, Wednesday night is a beacon in my week thanks to the Robertson folks of Duck Dynasty. I can't wait to see what Si, Willie, Phil and Jase have in store with their silly antics and good, clean fun. Last night, of course, didn't disappoint.
We begin as the boys are making duck calls, when Si arrives with a taser. He's armed and dangerous, and Jase is very afraid. As he should be of course! Willie arrives to invite the crew to a human resources meeting. He's bringing in a professional to give a seminar because, as Willie states, "When your employees' standard response to problems is to shoot it, burn it, or blow it up, it pays to cover your butt." Words to live by, I say. Willie gets on Si for playing security guard with his taser and handcuffs. The security kit was purchased after the break-in, although Si reminds Willie that it was Jase who broke into the warehouse.
First up, and most importantly, Farrah herself is finally confirming the news, so we don't have to continue speculating along with her parents (ew) as some nekkid movie star wannabe gives the world sound bites on his experience with the reality star. James Deen has been all over the tabloids talking about his romp with Farrah. Apparently, the plot is thickening as Farrah reportedly worked with an adult entertainment production company to film the video in hope of later passing it off as a leaked sex tape. Oh Farrah, you'll never be as business savvy as Kris Jenner when it comes to famewhoring!
Last night's Dance Moms was a lesson in democracy. If I had to cast my ballot for most ridiculous dance teacher, Abby Lee Miller would certainly get my vote!
It's pyramid time, and MacKenzie is on the bottom followed by Brooke, who, according to Abby, needs to figure out if she really wants to be a dancer. Chloe is also on the lowest tier, with Abby blaming her for her trio placing second. Kendall rounds out the bottom for being part of the second loser trio. The last place spot in the middle of the pyramid goes to Maddie for—you guessed it!–being part of the trio. Paige is third on the pyramid because Kelly has gotten good at not sparring with Abby. Nia is in second place for flying under the radar. Newbie Asia graces the top of the pyramid.
A crying MacKenzie complains of feeling dizzy when Asia's name is announced, and Abby makes her sit out of the group number. Asia is MacKenzie's size equal, so with MacKenzie out, Abby is unsure as to whether she'll actually dance in the group dance which has the conservatives facing off against the liberals in a politically themed number. Both Asia and Maddie get solos. Abby mixes things up by adding Chloe into the solo competition. Maddie's solo is called "I'm Trying" while Chloe's is "Am I Here To Stay?" Nice double meanings there!
I'm thinking about using my legal and blogging backgrounds to start a special kind of celebrity-inspired law school. Contracts, torts, even civil procedure could be worlds more exciting if you're studying cases based in tabloid craziness…and goodness knows there are enough celebrity legal spats to provide copious amounts of study materials. I specifically remember studying a case in my wills and trusts class which involved a troubled stripper turned Guess model as she vied for her much older husband's estate after his passing. Ring any bells? I'd even invite Harvey Weinstein to be a guest lecturer.
Of course, all 1Ls would have to takeKardashian Law. Think about it…the class could cover everything from employment to divorce to defamation. Kris Humphries could teach part of the course in his off-season! Speaking of Kris, we've got some news on his divorce proceedings from Kim. Also, if you recall, Kris Jenner recently filed a lawsuit against her ex husband's widow Ellen Kardashian for copyright infringement, claiming that Ellen sold portions of Robert Kardashian, Sr.'s private journals which were willed exclusively to his children. This family is a plethora of legal insanity, and I have more to share with you after the jump!
Another day, another court hearing which involves Teen Mom 2's favorite wild child. This time around Jenelle Evans wasn't the one facing the judge. She was there to watch her on-again-off-again husband Courtland Rogers as he faced the four assault charges and two battery charges that Jenelle filed against him in January.
After Jenelle and Courtland's quickie marriage and pregnancy announcement, the couple's relationship went drastically downhill with allegations of abuse and infidelity and drugs. Sadly, Jenelle suffered a miscarriage after the assault claims. Somehow, though, those crazy kids are still trying to make it work. Good for them, right?
It was another big night on the longest running season of Teen Mom 2 EVER. Kailyn Lowry contemplated marriage, while Leah Messer Sims Calvert considered letting her biological dad be a part of wedding number two. Jenelle Evans had a hearing for her domestic abuse charges, and Chelsea Houska (surprise, surprise) dropped out of school took a leave of absence from beauty school.
Kailyn and Javi decided not to get married in Las Vegas. Instead, they plan to wait until after he's been accepted into the Air Force. She calls to wish him luck on his entrance exam, and he immediately calls back to tell her that he's passed. Kailyn offers to take him to a nice dinner to celebrate.
Jenelle and Kieffer are back nesting, but she's worried about the assault charges which have been pressed against both of them. She meets her friend for lunch and explains the situation. She's done with Gary…he even took her engagement ring off her finger before the cops arrested them. Jenelle is happy to have moved on with a more stable Kieffer. What? More stable than he was three episodes ago? Get it together, Jenelle!
Chelsea is missing classes because she has mono, but she's hanging out with a friend who has two children…one is Aubree's age. They discuss what is going on with Adam and custody, and Chelsea is getting less whiny with each passing week. Plus, her hair looks so much better dark–it seems she's finally getting herself together!
Dear Mona Scott-Young, You will never be Andy Cohen, and VH1 will never be Bravo. You don't need to draw out your reality show seasons with multiple reunions. One is sufficient. Heck, most of the time with Andy's ladies, one is enough. Sincerely, Lauren. P.S. Please give Andy some tricks on how to stay in control of the reunion. Kthanksbubye!
On last night's Love & Hip Hop reunion, Mona introduces the ladies, and it's actually the only time they have all been in the same place at the same time. Poor Winter didn't make the stage, but she barely made any scenes either, so I'd say she's lucky to be on the front row with Professor Budden, Olivia Longott, Rich Dollaz, and Consequence. Mona can't wait to play Joe's favorite game of Truth or Truth after reminding us about the serious topics the show tackled like screaming, throwing drinks, being hos, and ripping out weave drug addiction, jail time, race, and religion.
We're treated to quite the violent montage, and then Mona asks Rashidah Ali why she called Mendeecees Harris a clown. Mona is clearly sticking up for her protege Yandy Smith, and Rashidah starts going off on how she used to sleep with Mendeecees, and he used to talk about Yandy behind her back. The always classy Yandy requests that Rashidah keep Mendeecees out of her accusations since he isn't around to defend himself. Rashidah agrees to stick with facts…Mendeecees has the smallest penis she's ever seen. Yandy doesn't justify her comments. Instead, Yandy blames Winter for going back and stirring the pot with Rashidah.