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Girls, girls, girls!  I have all but given up on the young "ladies" of Teen Mom 2.  Let's not even start with Jenelle Evans' recent rehab stint…let's just talk about the bad decisions they made in last night's episode alone!  Get it together, Kailyn Lowry!  Pick a guy, Leah Calvert Sims Messer!  Do something about your hair, Chelsea Houska!  And Jenelle?  In all seriousness.  Get off Twitter and get your life together for that precious little boy!  Whew…it felt good to get that off my chest! 

Last night's episode begins with Kailyn prepping for her first exchange with Jo in weeks.  She's had Isaac to herself for almost a month while waiting on their hearing.  Now that the protection from abuse order is dropped, she isn't excited to drop Isaac off because she knows that she and Jo won't speak.  Kailyn is livid thinking about the fact that Jo has his girlfriend around their son.  She puts Isaac before her, Javi and her friends…even when Javi is spending the night.  It's not the same as selfish Jo continuing to live with his family and hang out with Vee once a week.  Why can't anyone see the difference?  Geez!  I can't help but notice two things–Kailyn is getting very dolled up to see her ex, and she seems to be taking her tanning cues from Chelsea and Leah.  Orange you glad that Kailyn got a spray tan?  The trade-off is very tense, and Kailyn informs Jo that Isaac has a cold.  If he takes their son to the doctor, he'd better let her know!

Jenelle hasn't spoken to Gary since she found out that he hooked up with Tori before they started dating.  She's looking forward to getting off probation so she can fall back into the Keiffer trap.  He's texted her that it's them and Jace against the world.  Let's leave sweet Jace out of this, shall we Keiffer?  Her roommate wonders why Jenelle is even giving Keiffer the time of day.  She's re-evaluated the pros and cons between Keiffer and Gary, and while Gary has a job and a car, Keiffer is nice to her.  He's getting his act together…and by "getting his act together" she means that he's no longer incarcerated.

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Brandi Glanville book launch of

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Brandi Glanville doesn't need a husband to keep her warm at night.  She'll have the royalty money from her bestselling book to cuddle with until the wee hours of the morning.  Doesn't sound too bad to me!  

The often brash and outspoken Brandi is finally seeing some things go right in her world as Drinking and Tweeting maintains the top spot on the New York Times Bestseller List.  It's even the bestselling e-book according to the NYT!  It seems Brandi relates to a vast audience, and it's no shocker that she gives the best and most practical advice.  Don't believe me?  Read on!

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m4

Love was in the air on last night's Mob Wives, and I don't mean Love Majewski!  Drita D'avanzo was thrilled to have her husband out of jail, and Karen Gravano tested the waters on a date with Storm.  The biggest announcement came in the form of Ramona Rizzo's engagement!  Big Ang was once again the voice of reason, and there was still no love lost between Renee Grazziano and Carla Facciolo!

Renee and Drita are meeting for lunch, and Renee is overjoyed to hear how happy her friend is now that Lee has been released to the halfway house.  Drita admits that she and her husband are a lot like teenagers in love.  She's willing to forgive Lee for his affair in an attempt to work on their relationship.  Has Renee had more surgery since the last episode?  Her right eyebrow is raised in a constant state of speculation.  It's a tad creepy and distractions.  Renee reveals that she shared her struggles with addiction with her father.  She still craves a cocktail and some pills, but she's coming to terms with the fact that her recovery will be a day-by-day process.

Carla stops by the Drunken Monkey to tell Big Ang about her successful meeting with Raquel and Joe.  Ang wants to have a holiday party for all the girls, and Carla is wary of the guest list, given that she's only getting along with Ang and Drita.  Carla will attend to support Ang, but it's going to be uncomfortable.  She is willing to be cordial, but she knows the other women aren't going to speak to her.  Ang is sad that her friend is on the outs with all of her other friends.  Carla can't understand why Love has such a problem with her, especially given the fact that the two have never met.  Additionally, Carla hopes that Renee will civil with her given their recent butter knife altercation.  Ang explains that Renee is a different person since going to rehab, and she's more about being happy than creating drama.  Carla hopes that Ang is right about Renee, and she hopes all of the other ladies follow suit.  Good luck with that!

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Elton John Oscar Party

"Auf Wiedersehen!  One day you're in, and the next day, you're out.  You may leave the runway."  Er, I mean the stage.  Supermodel Heidi Klum is expanding on her Project Runway hosting skills into the realm of hardcore talent judging.  That's right!  The Body is joining the judges' panel for America's Got Talent.

Heidi will be joining veteran judges Howie Mandel and Howard Stern, along with fellow newcomer (and former Spice Girl) Mel B.  As you recall, Sharon Osbourne quit at the end of last season when the network wouldn't allow son Jack to appear on a high impact, military-inspired celebrity reality competition show due to his recent MS diagnosis.  Can you blame her? 

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lea-black-rhom

Even though the ladies of Bravo's Real Housewives of Miami finally found their voices in their sophomore season, some could definitely out yell the others.  Of course, Lea Black had a way of using her biting sarcasm to battle the volume of her co-stars.  When she wasn't stirring the pot among her friends or showering them with backhanded compliments, Lea could be found working on her annual gala and spending time with her family.

Everyone knows that Lea's gala is like her second child, and she treats it as such.  In a recent interview, she talks about how she';s prepping for huge April event while promoting a new line of skin care products and juggling her reality career.  I have a feeling next we'll be seeing a line of turbans from Lea, don't you think?

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jacobs cure dream 030512

Carla Facciolo went from zero to sixty in just one short season of Mob Wives.  The VH1 reality star has held her tongue in the past, but so far this season, she's come out with guns (and butter knives!) blazing. 

Many of her cast mates have turned on her given her recent antics, and her biffle Drita D'avanzo constantly finds herself stuck in the middle of her friend's feuds.  It's as if the two have traded places!  Carla is now speaking out about her behavior on the show, and she doesn't care what anyone thinks of her.  Wow, she sure is tough these days!

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kim kardashian kanye west date 081012

Well, there goes the neighborhood!  I'm sorry to let the good people of Bel Air that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are so eager to live in their zip code that no amount of money can convince them otherwise.  I guess they don't really need the money…

As you know, the couple spent $9 million on a mansion in January, and rumors immediately started swirling around that they were going to turn around and sell it.  Not so.  They can't wait to borrow a cup of sugar from Jennifer Aniston, I'm sure!

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ducks

My faith in humanity has been totally restored.  Not only did the powers that be here at Reality Tea have me start recapping Duck Dynasty (score!), but apparently the rest of the world is finally catching on to reality's best kept secret.  The world loves the Robertsons, and that makes me love the world.

As if my love of Si, Willie, Jase, Phil, and their families isn't enough to keep me warm at night, now I am so excited to report that viewers everywhere are following suit.  Last night's ratings for Duck Dynasty were through the roof, and A&E can just sit back and pat itself on the back for a job well done.  The Duck Commander crew has arrived, and I hope they aren't going anywhere.

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