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DanceMoms

It's a Dance Mom's extravaganza!  Lifetime knows a good thing when it pas de bourées in the ratings, and the network is going to milk this cash cow for all it's worth.  You know what that means?  It means that last night you were treated to two and half hours of Abby Lee Miller and the drama mamas.  It felt like Christmas all over again, didn't it?

In the hour leading up to the season three premiere, Jeff Collins returned to lead yet another reunion type show, only this time the ladies would be highlighting the upcoming drama instead of rehashing the past.  Let's see how this works.  Abby is wearing a lot of sequins and bling and spray tan.  Taking a few questions from the studio audience, she reveals that she has a special man in her life, and the mothers are the most selfish people on the planet.  Okey, dokey.  Poor Jeff looks one Ambien shy of hibernation, but luckily the stage setting mirrors (literally!) Abby's outfit, so all the twinkling should keep him awake at least until the premiere begins.  He is going to bring out the moms to have some one-on-one time with Abby and the audience.

Holly is the first to untangle her way through the sequined streamers, and she is wearing a tomato red number that seems to combine the finest vinyl with raw silk.  Abby immediately comments about it under her breath to Jeff.  Holly often gets on Abby's nerves, what with her professional demeanor and her need to analyze things.   Holly takes one audience member's question, and responds with a non-answer before making a swift exit.

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Kim Kardashian rings in the New Year at 1 Oak Nightclub at The Mirage Resort and Casino Las Vegas, NV

You could feel the collective intake of air when society as a whole learned the news that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West would be bringing a mini-Kimye into the world.  If you were quiet enough, you could probably hear the dollar signs ka-chinging in Kris Jenner's eyeballs. Oh, the spin-offs!  The elaborate and totally ridiculously expensive baby gifts (the child will need his or her own private jet)!  The publicity!  The magazine covers!  Did I mention the spin-offs?  How are we ever going to continue Keeping Up with the Kardashians if they are constantly multiplying?

Kim and Kanye's khild is already internationally famous and the kid hasn't even been born yet.  However, being famous for being conceived is far better than one his or her mother is famous for, right?  Let's face it…the world had the same fearful reaction for the unborn child's fate when Jersey Shore's tequila-soaked, slipper-wearing, fist-pumping, underwear-forgetting meatball, and that situation (no pun intended) seems to be working out wonderfully.  Snooki has truly taken to motherhood, and most people would likely agree that it seems to have changed her for the better.  I'm hoping the same for Kim and wish her and tiny rapper my congratulations. 

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nyfw project runway 3 080912

I really like Project Runway, but good gracious why do they keep insisting on switching things up every season?  First it jumped networks, then it brought back all-star contestants (I do think that was brillz), now it's losing Michael Kors?  Can anything short of a miracle (and/or Austin Scarlett) revitalize this program?

Every reality show run(way)s its course, and this fashion competition is getting ready to start its eleventh season.  Not only are we losing the snippy and fabulous Michael Kors, the competition has changed as well.  Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled at the return of host Heidi Klum and judge Nina Garcia, and I think that Zac Posen will be an amazing replacement for Mr. Kors.  I just really don't do all that well with change.  Of course, through all the ups, downs, and modeling turn arounds, there is one constant that lays all my fears to rest.  Tim Gunn.  If these new tweaks in the show are tacky or visionless, there's no doubt Tim will be telling the producers to "make it work!"

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cat baby

You know you've made it big in the reality television world when we're still talking about you long after you got the boot from your Bravo gig…or in one lady's case when her whole city's series got the ax. 

Here's a little housewives hodge podge for your evening!  We're running the gamut with gossip and franchises…and it's all happening to housewives past.  Lynne Curtin from seasons 4 and 5 of the Real Housewives of Orange County has finally filed for divorce, Real Housewives of D.C.'s Cat Ommanney gave birth to a baby girl, and Kelly Bensimon, formerly of Real Housewives of New Yorkate her weight in jelly beans is writing another book.

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royce

Happy New Year! I hope y'all are enjoying the first day of 2013.

It's been a while since we've heard from Basketball Wives' Royce Reed, but apparently she has a lot to say…and I mean A LOT. She recently posted a blog on VH1 which the network promptly took down–and you'll see why when you read it! Luckily for us, Royce reposted her diatribe on Tumblr, and she doesn't mince words. She has some choice words for Evelyn Lozada, and she laughs off any rumors as to why Shaunie O'Neal doesn't like her. Speaking of that relationship, she's give some background into how the show was developed, and Royce claims that Nostrils didn't have much to do with it. Interesting.

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sister wives 2

Last night was the season finale of Sister Wives followed by a family interview.  We watched Logan head off to college, and we were teased with a Kody Brown haircut.  I can't say I'm sad to see it end…for now.  

Christine is freaking out about the closings of the homes.  Kody reveals that the family has yet to qualify for their loans.  Um, why are they doing this again if they can't afford it?  Kody and his wives head to the bank to pick out their options for their homes.  One at a time, the ladies pour over carpet colors and countertops.  Robyn is up first, and she's quick to make her decisions.  Meri is up next, and she's already over budget.  Meri is stressed about the money, but she still wants to see any potential upgrades.  Are you kidding me?  Kody is quickly getting frustrated because he thinks that a washer and dryer is way more important than special countertops.  Meri is on the defensive, and she's over it.  She leaves, allowing her sister wives to pick their options.  

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rhonj-cast

It's the casting rumors that never end!  Yes, they go on and on my friend!  Gossip has been swirling around the Real Housewives of New Jersey and who may or may not be joining the cast.  Apparently everyone from last season will be returning, but there seems to be some confusion whether there will be any new full-fledged housewives.

The ladies left off last year on not the most positive of notes.  Jacqueline Laurita, Caroline Manzo, Melissa Gorga, and Kathy Wakile faced off against Teresa Giudice at the reunion, and many media outlets speculated that Bravo would be bringing in more allies for Teresa.  And maybe they are…but they will just be labeled "friends of housewives."

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kim kardashian 201212

Give me a break.  The X Factor needs to quietly into that good night.  Is anyone still watching?  If you are, will you still be watching if the Kardashians over take the show?  L.A. Reid has already thrown in the towel once this season draws to a close, and rumors abound that Britney Spears will be getting fired for causing viewers to fall asleep while she's talking.  It's clearly run its course.

Of course, Simon Cowell isn't willing to face facts.  Instead, he's trying to salvage the American version of the talent show with an influx of new judges.  Unfortunately for Simon, he's dipping into a pool of celebrities who won't likely take the bait.  Oh wait, he wants Kim Kardashian.  She'll do it…and she know a lot about music, right?

Sit back and relax.  Let's delve into the X Factor's latest drama and then segue into some additional Kim K. drama.  Is she preggers?  Has she pressured brother Rob to go under the knife?  These, my friends, are burning questions!

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