If you live in the Garden State, spend far above your means, and at least eighty percent of your wardrobe contains sequins and/or faux fur, you could possibly be a Real Housewife of New Jersey. If you're racing your former friends and family members to the top of the New York Times Bestseller List, you are on Bravo's short list for sure!
Depending on what floats your boat, there's a book penned by a RHONJ star that is just right for you. Do you like sampling new Fabulicious recipes? I think we all know that Teresa Giudice has you covered. Is party planning one of your hobbies? Pick up a copy of Dina Manzo's new book. Is TMI in the bedroom the kind of juicy gossip you crave? Look no further than Melissa Gorga to dish on her relationship with Poison! And, of course, if you want straight talk, Caroline Manzo is going to tell it like it is in her new tome. It looks like this Bravo franchise has the book market cornered!
Speaking of, last night's episode starts as Big Ang is prepping for her Christmas party. Even without Renee and Love, she knows things are going to be jolly! Drita arrives and is floored by Ang's hot pink and silver tree. Ang fills her in on Ramona's engagement, and Drita can't believe that Ramona is considering getting married to someone who could be spending decades behind bars. She wouldn't wish that fate on her worst enemy…and her worst enemy used to be Ramona! Karen is the next guest to show up, decked in a feather boa and a Santa hat. Ramona arrives next. Drita is glad to know that Love won't be in attendance because of her issues with Carla.
When Karen learns that Renee isn't ready to be around Carla, she is excited. Karen was only ever nice to Carla because she was Renee's friend. Ang teases Carla for being late, and Karen and Ramona give her the cold shoulder. The tension is awkward, and Karen breaks the ice by telling Carla that Renee isn't there because of her. She is being double teamed by Karen and Ramona, and Ang doesn't think it's any of their business. Carla wants to know why everyone has such an issue with the butter knife…it's not like she was wielding a machete. When Karen asks Drita's opinion, Drita says that if anyone waved a knife at her, she'd shove it where the sun don't shine. Ramona loves Drita's response.
Apparently a television personality is going to start showing the Kardashians some love…although it's more about getting talk show guests than actually wanting to play nice. Chelsea Handler is turning over a new leaf, and she's not going to be bashing the fame hungry family. That's right. She and Kris Jenner have called a truce on their public, two-year feud.
Just to maintain order in the universe, whenever someone backs the Kardashians, another person must bash them. If we don't maintain this balance, who knows what could happen to the planet? In other Kardashian news, some long lost relatives of Kris Humphries are breaking the family's silence on his never ending divorce from Kim Kardashian. His aunt and uncle are opening up on what they think of the 72 day union, as well as Kris' motives for wanting it annulled.
Season three of Mob Wives has seen a good bit of change. Women who were warring are now friends. There is markedly less drama. Renee Graziano even faced her own demons and checked herself into rehab for prescription pill addiction. Is it possible that the ladies of Staten Island are maturing? Nah, that can't be it.
After completing her program, Renee is trying to have a new outlook on life. She's learning to forgive, although it's been difficult given all of the drama with her ex-husband. Renee is focusing on staying strong and being healthy for her son A.J. who is still livid with his father's behavior. She even claims to be much more vulnerable than viewers see on the show. Of course, she's still proud of her edge!
TGIF! It's time for an update on those kooky (jooky?) Kardashian/Jenners! First up, the kids are expressing koncern over Kris' kocktail intake. Does Kris like to imbibe a little too frequently, or just when her daughters are tweeting? Well, I guess technically if she was drinking whenever her girls were tweeting, she'd never NOT be drinking…
Finally, Khloe addresses the fans regarding Kim's recent emergency trip to the doctor. Girlfriend needs to slow it down with all the traveling and appearances, and she needs to stay out of the limelight. What's good for Kimye, Jr. is good for the rest us, right?
Former Real Housewives of New YorkstarJill Zarin is really good at two things…tooting her own horn and extending her fifteen minutes–much to the chagrin of all of us! While Jill loves talking about how she wants to stay out of the spotlight and focus on her businesses, she can't seem to get all things Bravo and RHONY from spewing out of her mouth.
This time around she's chatting ad nauseam about her reasons for agreeing to do the show which range from wanting more family time to free publicity for her business ventures. I'm going to let you determine which one you think was the most important to her. Jill also waxes poetic about being one of the pioneers of the Housewives franchise, and she gives stellar advice on how to everyone can reach their goals. Sit back, relax, and take a Jill pill…
I want y'all to think back to a simpler time…a time when neighbors were friends, and they washed Cornish game hens in dish washing soap and had dinner parties together. A time before the skies grew dark, and one friend with blue hair feathers got mad at another satin cloaked friend for not having her satin cloaked daughter's bachelorette party at feather-mane's casino. I miss those days. NOT! While I generally don't enjoy conflict (it makes me super uncomfortable), there is something about the Lisa Vanderpump/Adrienne Maloof feud that is oh, so entertaining.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills stars used to be pals, but now there's an unfair fight brewing in the tabloids. A now fired Adrienne is taking every opportunity to badmouth her former friend, and she should have learned long ago that talking smack about Lisa never ends well for the smack talker. Lisa is smart enough not to start any drama, but when it comes her way, she silences it with some biting and witty remarks that make said smack talker look like an idiot. And let's be honest, shall we? Adrienne is already struggling with her image, and her new plan of spewing hate on Lisa's restaurant Villa Blanca is quickly backfiring.
Wednesdays used to be my least favorite day of the week, but now that Duck Dynasty is back, Wednesday and I are getting along a whole lot better. I'm convinced that if Jase, Willie, Si, and Phil Robertson can't put a smile on your face, then there really isn't much hope.
Last night's episode began with Miss Kay cleaning up her kitchen while Phil touts the uses for turpentine. Here's a hint–it needs to be used to clean up Hollyweird. Willie arrives and informs his parents that they are going to be having their portraits made with their pets. He can't believe he bought his parents such a stellar gift and they've yet to cash in on it. Willie made an appointment so that Phil and Miss Kay would have no other choice. We're less than three minutes in, and Phil gives me a line that could potentially be my favorite of the season. "Pet photographer? That's the degree you get when you're rejected from a degree in aromatherapy. 'Merica." Lord, I love this family.
At Korie and Willie's house, daughter Sadie is preparing some meatballs for her mom's spaghetti. Korie isn't quite up to par with Miss Kay when it comes to knowing her way around a kitchen. Willie learns that his son and his girlfriend have broken up, but he can't focus on the boy's heartbreak when he has jars of spaghetti sauce to wrestle. The following day, Jase is griping about a recent customer complaint. According to Jase, the guy thought he had a broken duck call, but it turns out (after extensive research on Jase's part) that the guy was blowing into the wrong end. Why, if I had a dollar for every time that happened!