Hey, y'all! Remember last week's Dance Moms when Abby Lee Miller was slightly supportive of her dancers? Yeah, that was short lived! Last night's episode had a bitter Abby back to wreck her talented troupe's self-esteem. Good times!
The girls and moms enter the studio, and Abby is actually happy and proud of the girls' performance at last week's competition. This week, the dancers are headed to compete in Michigan. During the pyramid, Brooke is on the bottom, and Abby is livid that she talked to Nia when she forgot her routine. Abby gets even angrier when Kelly laughs at her daughter's mishap, and she dismisses Brooke from for the competition. MacKenzie is also on the bottom for not resting her injured foot. Nia's outstanding Rosa Parks performance is also on th bottom, and all Abby can say is that Rosa herself would have been proud. So then why is she on the bottom? Kendall rounds out the bottom. Chloe and Paige are on second row for a winning duet. Maddie is on top, and Abby believes she deserves a standing ovation.
Kendall receives a solo, and Abby wants her to work on stamina. Chloe also gets a solo. She has the two run in place silently. Maddie will be dancing a duet with sister MacKenzie entitled "Run From Mother." The group routine is called "Gold Digga" but that is all the information that Abby is willing to give. Abby explains to the girls exactly what a gold digger is. In the viewing area, Melissa is sporting a wedding band and reveals that she was married the previous Monday in the dress the moms picked out for her. Kelly gushes that she was able to keep the secret given that Paige was in attendance at the ceremony. Melissa shares camera phone shots of the nuptials.
It's no secret that Real Housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes wants to be less a reality star and more a legitimate television personality. She's already conquered the sitcom realm with her NBC hit The New Normal, and now many of her fans are hoping we'll see the Neenster on the talk show circuit.
Not too long ago, NeNe served as a guest host on ABC's The View, and she was very well received to say the least. While I don't always find NeNe's behavior on RHOA to be all that funny (although her WIG! oneliners are classic), I find her hilarious outside the show. Now that Joy Behar has announced she'll be bidding farewell to The View after nearly seventeen years, would NeNe make a good replacement?
Well, that didn't take long! Just the other day, the word on the street was that former BachelorSean Lowe was spreading his diva-licious attitude all over the set of Dancing with the Stars. While the gossip was *slightly* far fetched, Sean is laughing off the claims that he thinks he "makes" the reality competition.
At the other end of the entitled dancing spectrum is fresh faced Disney teen Zendaya Coleman, but of course, she changed the game this week as well when she put her synchronized foot in her perfectly pouty mouth. Confused? Read on!
Another day, another math conundrum in the realm of the Kardashians. Kim Kardashian is helping us train our brains with some weighty word problems. The Keeping up with the Kardashians star, who is preggers with Kanye West's baby (duh!), is slyly revealing just how many pounds she's gained. Using terms like "only half" and "60 pounds off," she is causing my brain to fry with the computations.
When she's not making the public subtract and divide, she's being coy about Kimye Jr.'s potential moniker and how she wishes she had some junk food cravings. Pregnancy is the one time that she has the excuse to eat whatever she wants, but all the baby seems to desire is rabbit food. Poor Kim just kan't katch a break!
This may sound a bit odd, but I've taken to thinking of Teen Mom 2 (actually the entire franchise) as MTV's personal Truman Show. It's not true, it's just the network's way of punking everyone everywhere. In fact, it's getting to be the only way I can rationalize these girls and their unapologetically abhorrent behavior (that includes you, Farrah Abraham!). It has to be some sort of joke or satirical take on modern society, right?
In my head, Jenelle Evans is using this as her doctoral thesis, and Leah Messer Sims Calvert is planning to use her footage to create a poignant yet ironic documentary on the importance of self-esteem and the teenage girl. Kailyn Lowry is working undercover to fix glitches in the family court that allow one parent to abuse the legal system just to get back at the ex who scorned them…she's good at her job, by the way. Finally, Chelsea Houska is having the last laugh, as she's actually fluent in eight languages (whining is the ninth!), and she's testing a scientific theory regarding how high pitched and nasally a voice must be before viewers press the mute button. Well played, ladies. Well played. Too bad my alternate Teen Mom universe is just one blogger's sad delusions.
So, let's get to last night's episode, shall we? Jenelle is recovering from her boob job, and she can't wait until she's fully recovered so she can spend some time with Jace. Sadly, that won't happen until the poor child is at least eighteen. Gary is taking good care of her, and Jenelle wants to talk about three things: 1) Kieffer; 2) what Gary thinks of her new ta-tas; and 3) Kieffer. Oh, wait… Kieffer has been texting Jenelle, and Gary isn't willing to lose his "career" to fight with such a loser if he decides to come visit. He'd rather get back to checking out Jenelle's new rack.
Did y'all watch The Voice last night? I have to be honest, I have so much in my DVR on Mondays, that I'm going to have to save it for later in the week. That said, I can't wait to see what I anticipate being a much more fun and positive camaraderie among the judges. Don't get me wrong, I'll miss Cee Lo Green, but I think that Shakira and Usher will be great additions alongside Blake Shelton and Adam Levine. As for Xtina? No comment.
There is something about this competition that I truly adore. It's equal parts the design of listening without looking and the witty back and forth among the judges that makes it all the more entertaining. Add in incredible talent, and it's a hit. Of course, there is the always hilariously honest Blake to keep things in check, and he's dishing on the two newbies.
How quickly all good things come to an end! I had no clue that we are just one episode away from the season finale of Love & Hip Hop. Thank goodness. Basically, at this point, the show is only focusing on two tumultuous relationships and a potential prison term. Everyone else is just along for their five minutes of screen time every other week. You all know who I mena mean!
The episode begins with Raqi Thunda heading to Olivia Longott's performance in hopes of finding Tahiry Jose to apologize. She explains that Joe Budden wants her to mend fences, but after a half-baked apology, they are yelling at each other. Ahhh, maturity.
At home, Yandy Smith is snuggling with little Mendeecees and baby Amir while Mendeecees, Senior looks on happily. They share their engagement news with the little guy, and he's excited about having Yandy in the family. Sure, he's only seven, but VH1 made sure he was over the moon upon hearing the news. There is no doubt about it–Mendeecees produces some precious children.
Love has an appointment with her neurologist. She was involved in a horrible car accident a few years ago, and she still suffers from pain as a result. Her doctor questions her headaches, temper, and memory loss, and Love is worried that she's getting worse. In fact, just the other day, she got into a fight with some girls in the bathroom at a club, and she has no recollection of shoving one of the women's faces in the toilet. No way. The neurologist believes she's suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after cracking her skull in the accident, and he urges her not to get in situations where her temper could be exacerbated and she could lose consciousness in a fit of rage.
Karen and Ramona are preparing to go back to Staten Island, and Karen is thankful that she was able to work things out with Dave and meet his girlfriend. She feels they made a lot of progress, and that will only be a positive step for Karina. Dave drops by to say good-bye, and he's pleased that the pair have opened up their lines of communication. Now Karen can focus on reopening her father's case.