Let's say you built a giant brand based on how perfect and skinny and fab your life has been, and then let's say assume that a sperm donor the fairy tale marriage and a beautiful baby would be the cherry on top of said perfect life. You know what would really suck? If, due to your desire to become even more of an empire, you find yourself in a bitter divorce while you're in the middle of penning yet another lifestyle book.
Apparently, that is what is happening with the polarizing reality star Bethenny Frankel. In the midst of writing Skinnygirl Solutions, she now finds herself in a custody (and closet) battle with soon to be ex-husband Jason Hoppy. What's a girl to do?
A Konvoy of Krazy is pulling into the Kardashian station, literally. Let's round up the K's, shall we?
First, we have Kris Humphries still refusing to budge on his annulment stance, and he wants raw footage from the show to prove he deserves it. Kim Kardashian, on the other hand, is trying to take the sympathy route, pleading with the court that all of this stress could be harmful to her unborn baby. I don't even want to mention that Kanye West won't even be able to declare paternity right away if Kimye, Jr. is born while Kim is married to another man.
So, now on to the fourth K, Kris Jenner! She is yet again denying divorce rumors regarding her and husband Bruce Jenner. Is it Groundhog's Day? We also learn that Kris' own divorce from Kim's father wasn't pretty, and Kris was made to undergo a mental health evaluation! Care to take a gander at the results before you keep reading?
There is a lot going on in the world of the Bachelor today…past and present. First up, everyone's favorite pilot turned famewhore Jake Pavelka is discussing his love, the talented Kristin Chenoweth. I will never, ever understand that situation as long as I live. She's just so cute, I want to put her in my pocket, but I am certainly questioning her romantic choices of late.
You know who else is questioning his romantic choices (and rightfully so)? Why, it's current Bachelor Sean Lowe! Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief, because it appears that even though he keeps picking the atrocious Tierra LiCausa, Sean now recognizes he was clearly hoodwinked…what a cute expression. Golly, Sean. And speaking of Tierra, she has to command that attention, right? Just wait until you see her recent Instagram picture!
On last night's Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller was even more psychotic than ever in light of the return of Cathy and her Candy Apples. Cathy brought some breakdancers, Jill took Melissa's place as Abby's do-girl, and Christi…well, Christi reaches her boiling point in a way I would have never imagined.
Melissa is very nervous about the pyramid because she knows Abby is mad at her and livid over the fourth place finish. In fact, Abby swoops in and stares down the dancers, telling them she wants to take a long hard look at what fourth place looks like. ALDC hasn't seen fourth place in two decades. Someone start the violins, please. She is the one who is choreographing and teaching the dances. The entirety of the blame doesn't lie on a bunch of girls in elementary school. Or am I just crazy? Sometimes it's hard to tell…
The girls will be traveling to New Jersey for this week's competition. MacKenzie is at the bottom of the pyramid, and Abby yanks her from the group dance. A tearful Maddie joins her sister, and that has to be a blow given how she's used to being on top. I really wish Abby would stop punishing these girls for their mother's bad behavior. She rubs Maddie's nose in the fact that Chloe won at Nationals. Paige's alleged "laziness" puts her on the lowest rung as well along with Nia for just being "fine." Jill is estatic to see Kendall finally off the bottom, and Abby warns Kendall that she only needs to be worried when Abby no longer cares enough to criticize her dancing abilities. How sweet. Chloe is also in the middle for not following Abby's choreography in the way Abby envisioned it should be. Poor Brooke is the only one left, and Abby laughs at the thought that she's at the top of the pyramid. Just kidding! No one takes the top spot. Brooke will be in the group routine, and Kendall gets a solo called "Owe You Nothing." Abby reminds her and her mother that she owes them nada. Nia also gets a solo. Chloe is thrilled to get the final solo, and Maddie's face drops. The group number will have hats as props, and Abby warns that if anyone drops a hat, they will be off the team.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'Brandi Glanville continues to tweet up a storm in between bashing her ex-husband Eddie Cibrian and his wifey LeAnn Rimes as she promotes her new book Drinking & Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders. Her book is set to hit shelves on Tuesday, February 12. Her most recent rant? She wants to set the record straight regarding rumors that she cheated on Eddie during their marriage.
Of course, then she needed to re-set the record straight when many fans and followers pointed out that she did, in fact, date before her divorce was finalized. It's like a strange conversation with herself that she broadcasts for everyone to see. I do so love some Brandi tweets though. Even when she only has 140 characters, she manages to be extremely unfiltered.
Rut roh. Bethenny Ever After's fairy tale seems to be unraveling daily as Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy face off in what was once supposed to be a quick and civil divorce…as if any of us actually believed that claim! They are at least taking a break from battling over Bryn to focus on brawling over the family's uber-expensive and enormous apartment.
It seems that Bethenny is hoppying mad about recent rumors that Jason not only wants the apartment, but he can't wait to demolish her happy place…her walk-in closet. If that isn't bad enough, Jason's plans for the closet space are enough to make the tough diva in Bethenny faint with dispair. This may be one of the funniest reality news items of the week!
Oh gracious! I have to admit that I've always held a special place in my heart for Mob Wives Chicago'sNora Schweihs. Not only was she the first reality star I got to interview, but she scares the crap out of me was very gracious and promised me a bottle of The German wine. Apparently, Nora has flown the coop and left the Windy Cindy for the warmer weather of Los Angeles.
However, it seems that Nora has gotten into a bit of trouble on the West Coast, and it centers around her 23-year-old roommate Nick Gruber. Does his name sound familiar? He was Calvin Klein's little something-something for a while, but now the boy toy is allegedly fearing for his life at the hands of Nora. Yikes!
So, we are in the midst of what may be the longest stint of Teen Mom 2 in the history of the world. Last night's "mid-season finale" was even ninety minutes long…because it takes a long time to bid farewell to Jenelle Evans, Leah Messer Calvert, Chelsea Houska, and Kailyn Lowry. Not that they will be gone for long…we'll be treated to a two-hour reunion special next Monday, and then another twelve episode arc starts the week afterwards. That's when the true crazy is going to begin!
Last night's episode begins with a phone call from Jeremy. Leah, shocked she got pregnant so quickly (must I remind her of her first date with Corey?), has yet to tell him the good news. Jeremy is also in disbelief that it happened so fast, but he's nervous and excited. Leah commends Jeremy on waiting until he was the ripe old age of twenty-three to have a child…not sixteen like she was.
Chelsea is taking Aubree to check out day cares in the event she passes her GED and gets to start "hair school." Man, she's even whiny when questioning the day care instructor! The director calms her fears regarding leaving Aubree for the first time and stresses the need for Aubree to socialize at this age. Chelsea smacks her gum in agreement.
Kailyn is prepping for Isaac's second birthday and spending a lot of time with Javi. Why are guys drawn to her blunt sarcasm? Javi wonders if he'll ever get out of the friend zone. Kailyn assures him that being invited to Isaac's party is a good sign. Meanwhile, Jo and his new girlfriend are discussing how well Jo and Kailyn have been co-parenting lately. They are, however, having separate parties for their son. Jo wants Kailyn to meet his girlfriend, and his girlfriend thinks that Kailyn would want to know who is hanging around her son. She offers to write Kailyn a letter to break the ice.