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paris

Oh how the mighty have fallen.  The original reality star and gossip maven Paris Hilton is trying really hard to remain relevant…just not in the country.  Hey, you have to give her credit for knowing when to quit, right?

The star has recently been featured on the Danish nightmare Paradise Hotel, where couples compete to see who can last the longest amid the drinking, craziness, casual sex.  It sounds right up Paris' alley!  The X-rated show has long been criticized, but that hasn't stopped Paris from making bank, and doing so out of the public eye of her biggest followers.

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khloe-lamar-odom-kardashian-twitter

Khloe Kardashian is finally saying enough is enough with all the media hype and gossip surrounding her.  No, I'm not referring to her sister Kim's extreme insensitivity by claiming she suffered some infertility problems like Khloe.  We all know that Kim got pregnant simply by going off the birth control pill, while Khloe has been struggling for more than a year to conceive with her husband.  Now, she finds herself fighting tabloid rumors surrounding the status of her marriage.   

As if she hasn't had horrible issues on her own, Khloe has been dealing with speculation about when she and Lamar Odom will start a family.  Some media outlets refuse to give up on the idea that Lamar is stepping out on his wife.  Can someone please cut Khloe a break? 

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New folder

And the plot thickens…Another day, another divorce update in the land of Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy

It seems as if things are proceeding quickly in the split.  Now, just two weeks after filing for divorce, the Bethenny Ever After star has high-tailed it out of the home she shared with Jason.  Where did show, you may wonder?  Well, apparently, she's movin' on up…you know, to the East Side.  She's now in a deluxe apartment in the sky.  Seriously!

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Kim, Kimminy, Kim, Kimminy, Kim, Kim, Kah-ree…if Kim needs a chimney sweep, out of luck is he!  Why?  Because he won't know which multi-million dollar Bel-Air mansion to go to for his chimney services.  More on that in a bit.  In the meantime, let's chat about Kim Kardashian is living beneath her means…for once.

Oh, and P.S., Kim doesn't want your mommy advice.  She is quite capable of taking care of the tiny rapper's baby without you telling her how to live and what soft cheeses to avoid.  Seriously.  She hasn't listened to the countless people who have asked her to fade into obscurity, why would she want to hear from fans who think she needs to fly less and eat more greens?  Please, as if y'all want to give Kim and Kanye West parenting advice…like it would help.

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta - Season 5

Guess what, dear readers!  It's the battle of the booties…the donkey booties!  Dare I say it's epic!  On the latest episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, tell-it-like-it-is attorney and mortician Phaedra Parks went head to head with the self-proclaimed favorite new cast member Kenya Moore (And twist!) over a butt enhancing "exercise" video.  Somewhere, right now, Richard Simmons is wearing short shorts and a puff-painted American flag muscle tee, rocking back and forth in a corner, and screaming, "Why God, why?"  Poor man.

In such a assilicious situation, there is sure to be some discord, but, in my opinion, Kenya was pretty out of line with her demands.  Phaedra agrees, and I'm certainly not one to go against anyone who spews gems of advice in the form of the most ridiculous life lessons.  Let's be honest, only Phaedra can equate a fancy coffin to an opulent life style…while waxing poetic about dill pickles and homemade macaroni and cheese.  Girlfriend is one of a kind, and I love her for it!

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uncle poodle

Love them or hate them, the Shannon Thompson family has catapulted to international stardom for nothing more than being their normal, everyday selves.  Sure, the majority of people think that their normal, everyday selves are unhealthy and a bit gross, but nonetheless, they truly seem to love and accept one another.

Now the crew from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is facing some sad news, but something tells me the family is going to pull through it even stronger.  Sugar Bear's brother and Alana Thompson's beloved Uncle Poodle, Lee Thompson, has just announced that he is HIV positive.  In an interview Poodle explains that he wants to use his diagnosis as a platform to put an end to bullying. 

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escape to total NY 020312

On the latest episode of Mob Wives, Renee Graziano let a not so shocking bomb drop when Carla Facciolo accused her of being a junkie.  Instead of threatening to shank her former friend (I'm sure that will come later in the season), Renee admitted that she had been struggling with addiction.  We all know as well that Renee checks herself into rehab this season.

In a recent interview with Joy Behar, the outspoken, ridiculously dramatic Renee chatted about her situation with ex-husband Junior Pagan, her struggle with prescription pills, and her over the top personality. 

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dance5

Last night's Dance Moms was not fun to watch.  Sure, the girls were as cute and talented as ever, the moms are as crazy as ever, and Abby Lee Miller was over the top hateful.  I have to keep reminding myself that it's scripted, but those poor girls were treated so badly.  I am so sick of watching Abby take out her frustrations with the mothers on her dancers.  They are nothing but sweet…well, I'm not so sure about the new squeaky voiced one.

The replacement team is still in place, and while Abby isn't thrilled with their second place finish last week, she feels that this group is much easier to work with than the originals.  However, the old moms (or "real dance moms" as Christi calls them) are back having a pow-wow in the parking lot.  Kelly has returned because, although she hates how Abby treats her daughters, the girls miss the studio and their friends.  In the studio, Abby calls Shelly to find out where her daughter Ally is…and she's back in New Orleans.  Shelly wasn't going to have the other moms blaming her daughter for the group dance coming in second, and Abby understands her frustration.  She's now livid with the other moms, and she is going to let the remaining new moms know, and she kicks out the two mothers who blamed Ally for the finish.  Their daughters are in tears, and I hate it for the girls.  Abby doesn't care.  She's fine just having Sophia on her team.

The OG moms have finally gotten the courage to enter the studio, but Kelly stays behind so as not to piss off Abby anymore.  Since Abby now has some openings, she invites the moms to quit loitering in the parking lot and come in and dance.  Holly says that she's got God on her side…"and God on your thighs" says Abby under her breath.  Glass houses?  She gives the moms an ultimatum about signing the contract and being loyal to her and not to Kelly.  Jill and Melissa quickly cave, and Christi and Holly agree to sign as long as Abby will entertain Kelly's girls rejoining the team.  Kelly comes in to speak with Abby and ends up (kind of) apologizing, and she signs her contract.  Jill is shocked to see Jacqueline and her daughter Sophia.  Abby puts all of the original team on the bottom of the pyramid, with Sophia at the top. 

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