Wednesdays used to be my least favorite day of the week, but now that Duck Dynasty is back, Wednesday and I are getting along a whole lot better. I'm convinced that if Jase, Willie, Si, and Phil Robertson can't put a smile on your face, then there really isn't much hope.
Last night's episode began with Miss Kay cleaning up her kitchen while Phil touts the uses for turpentine. Here's a hint–it needs to be used to clean up Hollyweird. Willie arrives and informs his parents that they are going to be having their portraits made with their pets. He can't believe he bought his parents such a stellar gift and they've yet to cash in on it. Willie made an appointment so that Phil and Miss Kay would have no other choice. We're less than three minutes in, and Phil gives me a line that could potentially be my favorite of the season. "Pet photographer? That's the degree you get when you're rejected from a degree in aromatherapy. 'Merica." Lord, I love this family.
At Korie and Willie's house, daughter Sadie is preparing some meatballs for her mom's spaghetti. Korie isn't quite up to par with Miss Kay when it comes to knowing her way around a kitchen. Willie learns that his son and his girlfriend have broken up, but he can't focus on the boy's heartbreak when he has jars of spaghetti sauce to wrestle. The following day, Jase is griping about a recent customer complaint. According to Jase, the guy thought he had a broken duck call, but it turns out (after extensive research on Jase's part) that the guy was blowing into the wrong end. Why, if I had a dollar for every time that happened!
This is so NOT bananas. In fact, it's so far from being bananas it's practically a cantaloupe. Everyone's favorite 1970's inspired bag lady stylist turned designer returned to Bravo last night with a vengeance. That's right! The fifth season of the Rachel Zoe Project premiered, and it started off on a very bad note thanks to Page Six.
Way back in August, Page Six published a scathing article saying that Rachel Zoe's new line was in trouble and was not attracting customers at high end department stores. The article speculating that her show would be canned before a fifth season could air. Well, we all know that last part isn't true! As you can imagine, Rachel wasn't too thrilled with the article, and we got to see her reaction play out in our living rooms.
Boys don't cry, y'all. That goes double for boys in hair bands. Singer, Rock of Love star, and former Celebrity Apprentice winner Bret Michaels has had his fair share of heartache, whether its health issues, his love life, or his receding hairline (you're not fooling anyone with that bandana, buddy!). Now, he's having to fight off some pretty serious and damaging rumors.
It appears that every rose truly does have its thorn, and if you're Bret that thorn is All-Star Celebrity Apprentice. If you believe the crazy gossip surrounding the new season of Donald Trump's boardroom bonanza, Bret wants to set the record straight: he most certainly did NOT bawl like a baby when he was the first "celebrity" to hear the words, "You're fired!"
It's a great day for Michael Lohan! Everyone's favorite famewhoring father of a trainwreck starlet has a new job. He's employed! Maybe now, he'll stop trying mooch money off poor Lindsay. Something tells me there isn't much to mooch these days…perhaps it's why he needed to find work.
Perez Hilton shares that Michael has landed a hosting gig on a Cheaters spin-off called Celebrity Cheaters. Let's all be honest, how much better would Kristen Stewart's cheating scandal have been had Michael Lohan been the one to bust her? I can picture it now. Granted, I am sure the show won't even focus on D-List celebrities. Something tells me that Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison may get some screen time, though!
Congratulations, Michael. This is certainly a subject you know a lot about!
TELL US-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MICHAEL LOHAN'S NEW GIG? WILL YOU WATCH?
I make my living railing on the Kardashians, but I've never really thought about what it means to be associated with them. Case in point–Lamar Odom has been in court this week hashing out issues with his ex-wife about their children regarding visitation and child support.
More than that, it's weird to see Lamar's ex Liza Morales be in the thick of all things media related just because she happens to have kids with someone who has now married into the fame hungry family. Although Liza doesn't strike me as someone who is bothered by the attention! I'm happy to report that Khloe has yet to weigh in on the legal beef her husband is facing. What? A Kardashian isn't kashing in on drama surrounding her family? I knew I liked Khloe for a reason!
Last week's Dance Moms was emotionally draining for Abby Lee Miller given the loss of her dog. This week it was nice to get back to the petty drama…especially if said drama includes Abby speed-dating and Jill getting thrown under the bus after trying to claw daughter Kendall's way into Abby's good graces. Jill, watch seasons past and learn. There is a definite protocol to being Abby's pet, and it's called being named "Maddie".
When the episode begins, Abby is glad that her girls won their most recent competition, but she's quick to remind them that it isn't their best performance. She rails on Chloe for deviating from the choreography in the group number. She unveils the pyramid, and Paige is on the bottom for being good but not great. Apparently she didn't dance with her face. Kendall joins her because she faded into the woodwork. Jill isn't happy with Abby's choice. Brooke rounds out the bottom for being the oldest who isn't standing out as a leader among the group. Nia is on the second rung…third on the pyramid to coincide with her third overall finish. Holly is proud. MacKenzie joins her. Not surprisingly, Maddie has found herself back on top yet again. This garners an eyeroll from Jill. Chloe doesn't even make the pyramid, and Christi bites her tongue.
This week, the troupe is heading to New Jersey. MacKenzie is still out of the group dance. Abby is bringing in a boy to compete with the girls. MacKenzie and Maddie both get solos. Kendall and Nia are granted a duet. I love seeing Nia getting some well-deserved props. Abby introduces Nick as the boy lead, and all his counterparts are squealing with excitement. Brooke will be the female lead. Aww, I see a prom date in their future! In the dance, Brooke is dying and Maddie is her daughter. Abby hopes that Maddie's facial expressions will carry the number. It's like a Les Mis situation minus the French Revolution. In the veiwing room, Christi waxes poetic about their girls finding their first love. That conversation quickly turns to introducing Abby to speed dating. This is going to be a great episode! Operation Find A Man For Abby commences. Jill wants to find a man for Abby in hopes of furthering Kendall's dance career.
Just because Anderson Cooper's daytime talk show is ending doesn't mean that the show's executive producer will be out of a job. That's good news, right? Really though, the million dollar question is: who would you rather work for–Anderson or Bethenny Frankel? Hmmm. Tough call!
As the old saying goes, when one door closes, another door opens, and such is the case for Anderson Live producer Terrance Noonan. As Anderson's two season stint draws to a close, the Bethenny Ever After star is poised to take his fans…and his producer! At least Telepictures is keeping it in the production family, so to speak!
On last night's Love & Hip Hop, we were treated with more of the same. Flashy characters and quality production can't save the boring story lines, and it's unfortunate. There was some potential in the beginning, but now it just makes me yawn.
Rich Dollaz is once again meeting with Pete Gunz, and Rich is ready for his mentor's "I told you so's" about Erica Mena. He tells his friend that the pair has broken up but he'd still like to manage her career. Pete still thinks his friend is crazy. His opinion on Erica being a loose cannon hasn't changed, and Pete doesn't think that she respects Rich. Rich knows he can harness her talent, so Pete brings out the big Gunz guns, showing him a picture online of Erica hosting a party. As her manager, Rich should have known about the gig, and he should be getting a cut of it. Rich is livid and humiliated that she would go behind his back, and Pete urges his friend to end their business partnership after already ending their romantic one.
Lore'l is still hurt about what Winter Amos wrote in her book. She claims that Winter lied when she said Lore'l didn't write her own raps. Needing some emergency career advice, Lore'l schedules an emergency meeting with Yandy Smith. Discussing the book reading, Yandy is impressed that Lore'l was able to maintain her composure in light of all of Winter's allegations. She also believes that Lore'l is talented and marketable, and she offers to mentor her. Score one for Lore'l!