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tami roman

The original Basketball Wives are gearing up for a spring premiere, and Tami Roman promises that it won't disappoint.  The show, which isn't even about actual wives anymore, is often criticized for the women's outlandish and violent behavior.  However, this fifth season is hoping for calmer cast.  I won't hold my breath.   

Shaunie O'Neal pretends to be above the drama, but she loves to stir that pot and play puppeteer to Tami and wine throwing Evelyn Lozada.  This season the women plan to show more of their family lives and careers in an effort to do some damage control from last season's trainwreck.

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patti-stanger-full_1

You know it's a bad thing when Patti Stanger thinks you're a douche.  The Millionaire Matchmaker is back for a new season, and she's got quite the clientele.

The Bravo reality star has a new batch of millionaires looking for love…everyone from Denise Richards' father (Patti actually likes him) to an arrogant plastic surgeon to some guy who wants to be Eminem.  Good times!

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Kelly Bensimon

It's a Bravo romance that's straight out of Scary Island a novel.  Boy loves to groom his eyebrows.  Girl loves jellybeans.  Boy meets girl at a charity event, and the rest, as they say, is history.  That's right, folks!  Former Real Housewives of New York star Kelly Bensimon and Million Dollar Listing: New York's Ryan Serhant are apparently an item.

Like all great relationships, the pair started out as friends, but that all changed at a fundraiser for Sandy relief.  It was at that point that the forty-four-year-old head case and the twenty-eight-year-old egomaniac realized that they were destined for so much more.

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paris

Oh how the mighty have fallen.  The original reality star and gossip maven Paris Hilton is trying really hard to remain relevant…just not in the country.  Hey, you have to give her credit for knowing when to quit, right?

The star has recently been featured on the Danish nightmare Paradise Hotel, where couples compete to see who can last the longest amid the drinking, craziness, casual sex.  It sounds right up Paris' alley!  The X-rated show has long been criticized, but that hasn't stopped Paris from making bank, and doing so out of the public eye of her biggest followers.

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khloe-lamar-odom-kardashian-twitter

Khloe Kardashian is finally saying enough is enough with all the media hype and gossip surrounding her.  No, I'm not referring to her sister Kim's extreme insensitivity by claiming she suffered some infertility problems like Khloe.  We all know that Kim got pregnant simply by going off the birth control pill, while Khloe has been struggling for more than a year to conceive with her husband.  Now, she finds herself fighting tabloid rumors surrounding the status of her marriage.   

As if she hasn't had horrible issues on her own, Khloe has been dealing with speculation about when she and Lamar Odom will start a family.  Some media outlets refuse to give up on the idea that Lamar is stepping out on his wife.  Can someone please cut Khloe a break? 

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New folder

And the plot thickens…Another day, another divorce update in the land of Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy

It seems as if things are proceeding quickly in the split.  Now, just two weeks after filing for divorce, the Bethenny Ever After star has high-tailed it out of the home she shared with Jason.  Where did show, you may wonder?  Well, apparently, she's movin' on up…you know, to the East Side.  She's now in a deluxe apartment in the sky.  Seriously!

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kardashian kollection 2 081112

Kim, Kimminy, Kim, Kimminy, Kim, Kim, Kah-ree…if Kim needs a chimney sweep, out of luck is he!  Why?  Because he won't know which multi-million dollar Bel-Air mansion to go to for his chimney services.  More on that in a bit.  In the meantime, let's chat about Kim Kardashian is living beneath her means…for once.

Oh, and P.S., Kim doesn't want your mommy advice.  She is quite capable of taking care of the tiny rapper's baby without you telling her how to live and what soft cheeses to avoid.  Seriously.  She hasn't listened to the countless people who have asked her to fade into obscurity, why would she want to hear from fans who think she needs to fly less and eat more greens?  Please, as if y'all want to give Kim and Kanye West parenting advice…like it would help.

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta - Season 5

Guess what, dear readers!  It's the battle of the booties…the donkey booties!  Dare I say it's epic!  On the latest episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, tell-it-like-it-is attorney and mortician Phaedra Parks went head to head with the self-proclaimed favorite new cast member Kenya Moore (And twist!) over a butt enhancing "exercise" video.  Somewhere, right now, Richard Simmons is wearing short shorts and a puff-painted American flag muscle tee, rocking back and forth in a corner, and screaming, "Why God, why?"  Poor man.

In such a assilicious situation, there is sure to be some discord, but, in my opinion, Kenya was pretty out of line with her demands.  Phaedra agrees, and I'm certainly not one to go against anyone who spews gems of advice in the form of the most ridiculous life lessons.  Let's be honest, only Phaedra can equate a fancy coffin to an opulent life style…while waxing poetic about dill pickles and homemade macaroni and cheese.  Girlfriend is one of a kind, and I love her for it!

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