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dance5

Last night's Dance Moms was not fun to watch.  Sure, the girls were as cute and talented as ever, the moms are as crazy as ever, and Abby Lee Miller was over the top hateful.  I have to keep reminding myself that it's scripted, but those poor girls were treated so badly.  I am so sick of watching Abby take out her frustrations with the mothers on her dancers.  They are nothing but sweet…well, I'm not so sure about the new squeaky voiced one.

The replacement team is still in place, and while Abby isn't thrilled with their second place finish last week, she feels that this group is much easier to work with than the originals.  However, the old moms (or "real dance moms" as Christi calls them) are back having a pow-wow in the parking lot.  Kelly has returned because, although she hates how Abby treats her daughters, the girls miss the studio and their friends.  In the studio, Abby calls Shelly to find out where her daughter Ally is…and she's back in New Orleans.  Shelly wasn't going to have the other moms blaming her daughter for the group dance coming in second, and Abby understands her frustration.  She's now livid with the other moms, and she is going to let the remaining new moms know, and she kicks out the two mothers who blamed Ally for the finish.  Their daughters are in tears, and I hate it for the girls.  Abby doesn't care.  She's fine just having Sophia on her team.

The OG moms have finally gotten the courage to enter the studio, but Kelly stays behind so as not to piss off Abby anymore.  Since Abby now has some openings, she invites the moms to quit loitering in the parking lot and come in and dance.  Holly says that she's got God on her side…"and God on your thighs" says Abby under her breath.  Glass houses?  She gives the moms an ultimatum about signing the contract and being loyal to her and not to Kelly.  Jill and Melissa quickly cave, and Christi and Holly agree to sign as long as Abby will entertain Kelly's girls rejoining the team.  Kelly comes in to speak with Abby and ends up (kind of) apologizing, and she signs her contract.  Jill is shocked to see Jacqueline and her daughter Sophia.  Abby puts all of the original team on the bottom of the pyramid, with Sophia at the top. 

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kim bday

Oh Kim Kardashian…if I were a licensed psychiatrist, I might diagnose you as a classic one-upper.  You've built an empire on which your entire family was riding the coattails until each of your siblings (inevitably) became famous in their own reality right.  It's the snowball effect.  And we're all dumber because of it.

Kim watched her sister Kourtney give birth to two precious children, and she counseled (cough, cough) sister Khloe who was suffering from infertility while trying to conceive with her husband.  Of course, now Kim is pregnant with Kanye West's baby, but she can't stop one-upping her sisters.  I'm gonnna let you talk Kourtney, but this baby is the best Kardashian baby of all time.  Sorry Mason and Penelope.  Y'all are officially old news.  Don't even get me started on poor Khloe's efforts to have a child.  Geez.  I'll let Kim speak for me.

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tm4

I have to say, last night's episode of Teen Mom 2 was rather positive.  We're not used to that, are we?  Both Jenelle Evans and Leah Messer found affordable and spacious rental homes which would benefit their kids.  Chelsea Houska worked closer towards her GED, although tragedy definitely struck, and it was heartbreaking.  Finally, Kailyn Lowry's mom reminds of why Kailyn acts the way she does.  That woman is quite an itch-bay!

Jenelle has moved out of Josh's house after a big fight.  That certainly didn't take long, did it?  She calls her friend Amber to see if she can crash with her to avoid drama with Barbara.  Amber has separated from her husband, and she wants a bigger house now that her baby boy is getting bigger.  The girls daydream about getting a grown-up house where they can live with their sons, and Jenelle waxes poetic about how the courts will love the stable environment and Barbara will love Amber's positive influence.  Yeah.

Kailyn returns from Texas, and she shares the details of the trip with her friend GiGi, adding that she'd love to move there.  GiGi wonders how Jo will feel about Kailyn moving Isaac to Texas, and Kailyn meanly quips that he can have his rap career.  If he wants to be a rapper, he'd have to go on tour and leave Isaac anyway, right?  Sometimes I am overwelmed by Kailyn's maturity…she is wise beyond her years, that one. 

It's date night for Leah and Jeremy.  She tells him that she spoke to Corey, and, while she wanted him to want to change, she didn't feel any sincerity on Corey's part.  Jeremy is relieved, and he hopes Leah will stop letting Corey mess with her head.  Um, did he just hear her correctly?  I got the impression that had Corey been super serious, she would be back with him in a heartbeat, but since he's not…eh, Jeremy is a warm body.  These girls and their need to have any boy in their bed!  Meanwhile, Corey is herding the twins while talking to his friend Austin.  The girls are so cute to say night-night to Corey and sissy, and "I love you."  Corey shares his confusion and frustration over Leah, and he decides it's best to try to move on with his life.

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jake kristin

Sometimes my reality gets skewed.  It's been skewed as of late.  I'm bewildered.  The light of musicals, Southern belle charm, and quick wit wrapped in a tiny little package has disappointed me.  Yet, I still can't blame her.  I feel as if she's been brainwashed.  I can't think of another logical explanation.

I'll just come right out and say it.  I've heard the rumors, and I've read the gossip, but I so didn't want to believe it was true.  But we now have confirmation.  Sigh.  It seems that everyone's favorite multi-talented spitfire little cupcake Kristin Chenoweth is, in fact, dating former Bachelor alum and d-bag pilot Jake Pavelka.  When did the world go so awry?  I'd hoped that she was his beard, but it doesn't seem like that is the case.  I don't know what to believe anymore.  Gracious.

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hip1

Okay, I'll be honest.  I didn't think I'd grow to like this new group on Love & Hip Hop.  I certainly didn't fathom that I'd start changing my tune during the second episode…but I did.  I'm still iffy about Raqi Thunda, but I like Rashidah AliJoe Budden and Tahiry Jose are going to bring the drama

When we last left the new crew, Tahiry and Raqi were involved in some behavior unbecoming of a pool party…unless your on a VH1 reality show.  So, they totally fit right in, I'd say.  Tahiry heads to Rashidah's house to vent to her friend about the situation.  Rashidah is floored to hear that Tahiry went to Joe's pool party, and she's even more floored to hear that Raqi was there.  Rashidah considers her to be "IP"…or Industry What the fab 90's rap song OPP was about.  Classy.  Tahiry admits to blacking out during her altercation with Raqi, and Rashidah accuses her friend of "dumbing down" for Joe.  I like this chick.  She calls it like it is!  Tahiry thinks that something is off with Joe, and she's worried about him. 

We are introduced to Jen Bayer, better known as Jen the Pen.  She's a hip hop gossip blogger and has a radio show.   She is dating rapper Consequence, who is the self-proclaimed best ghost writers in the history of rap.  They've been together for five years and have a baby boy.  He has an impressive resume as he's written with tiny rapper Kanye West, Diddy, and Beyonce.  Jen meets her friend Winter Ramos (who made a brief appearance at that fateful pool party) at Consequence's sound check.  She is Fab's assistant, but she worked with (and slept with) a slew of famous name rappers.  Jen shares with Winter that she's ready to go back to work after the baby.  Winter has recently written a tell-all about her experience in the music industry.  She's put a lot of controversial details in her book, but she's not worried about any backlash. 

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danielle jenn

Oh wow.  I bet y'all didn't even know that it was possible to have a short, sweet Real Housewives of New Jersey post, but I'm here to restore your faith.  After the jump, I've got some great gossip and some hilarious Caroline Manzo news.  It won't disappoint.

Let me throw out some buzz words in hopes of sparking your interest.  We've got a former Basketball Wives star hanging out with a pole dancing "prostitution whore" from seasons past of RHONJ.  We've also got Caroline's face popping up in a very odd place.  It's amazing.

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bethenny frankel 040412

The thing I love about reality show gossip is that everyone gets to hear exactly what they want to hear.  At least, that is certainly how it seems to be for the former Bethenny Ever After couple.  Fans of Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy's relationship will be happy to hear that some insiders think they could go the route of NeNe and Gregg Leakes and reconcile.  Of course, these sources predict that it will happen right about the time that Bethenny's talk show debuts.  Funny how that works, right?

On the flip side, for those of you for whom Bethenny grates on your last nerve, other insiders are claiming that Bethenny has already moved on with a mystery colleague.  The scandal!  See, it's a win/win when it comes to gossip!

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boo5

I would like to personally thank whoever at TLC had the briliant idea to put June Shannon, Sugar Bear, and family into Pilgrim garb for the opening sequence of their Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving special.  It was amazing. 

We begin the special in the hospital, where Mama June and Sugar Bear are talking to a groggy Pumpkin.  Unfortunately, the key catching incident from Halloween was worse than they originally thought, and Pumpkin had to have emergency surgery for a detached retina.  Poor girl!  Sugar Bear plays the doting father figure (seriously, how sweet a guy is he?), while June plays with her daughter's belly fat.  A drugged up Pumpkin just slurs her disdain.  Back at home, Pumpkin is on strict bed rest, so June gives her a metal bowl and spoon to bang if she needs assistance.  They are like a family of fat McGyvers! 

TRAIN!  Alana is working on a project for school about the first Thanksgiving.  She knows there were turkeys and that the Indians Native Americans ended up getting screwed over with a crappy meal and some casinos.  She also knows that the Pilgrims came over on the Mayship the Flowership the Mayflower.  According to Chubbs, this happened in 1942 (near the time of Pearl Harbor) when Christopher Columbus discovered the new world.  Close, Chubbs.  Very close.  The first Thanksgiving meal was held at the Piedmont.  Wait, no.  Kribbet's Rot.  Make that Plymouth Rock.  I'm getting much dumber by watching these two minutes of television, but it is totally worth it.  And TRAIN…twice!

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