Oh wow. I bet y'all didn't even know that it was possible to have a short, sweet Real Housewives of New Jersey post, but I'm here to restore your faith. After the jump, I've got some great gossip and some hilarious Caroline Manzo news. It won't disappoint.
Let me throw out some buzz words in hopes of sparking your interest. We've got a former Basketball Wives star hanging out with a pole dancing "prostitution whore" from seasons past of RHONJ. We've also got Caroline's face popping up in a very odd place. It's amazing.
The thing I love about reality show gossip is that everyone gets to hear exactly what they want to hear. At least, that is certainly how it seems to be for the former Bethenny Ever After couple. Fans of Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy's relationship will be happy to hear that some insiders think they could go the route of NeNe and Gregg Leakes and reconcile. Of course, these sources predict that it will happen right about the time that Bethenny's talk show debuts. Funny how that works, right?
On the flip side, for those of you for whom Bethenny grates on your last nerve, other insiders are claiming that Bethenny has already moved on with a mystery colleague. The scandal! See, it's a win/win when it comes to gossip!
I would like to personally thank whoever at TLC had the briliant idea to put June Shannon, Sugar Bear, and family into Pilgrim garb for the opening sequence of their Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving special. It was amazing.
We begin the special in the hospital, where Mama June and Sugar Bear are talking to a groggy Pumpkin. Unfortunately, the key catching incident from Halloween was worse than they originally thought, and Pumpkin had to have emergency surgery for a detached retina. Poor girl! Sugar Bear plays the doting father figure (seriously, how sweet a guy is he?), while June plays with her daughter's belly fat. A drugged up Pumpkin just slurs her disdain. Back at home, Pumpkin is on strict bed rest, so June gives her a metal bowl and spoon to bang if she needs assistance. They are like a family of fat McGyvers!
TRAIN! Alana is working on a project for school about the first Thanksgiving. She knows there were turkeys and that the Indians Native Americans ended up getting screwed over with a crappy meal and some casinos. She also knows that the Pilgrims came over on the Mayship the Flowership the Mayflower. According to Chubbs, this happened in 1942 (near the time of Pearl Harbor) when Christopher Columbus discovered the new world. Close, Chubbs. Very close. The first Thanksgiving meal was held at the Piedmont. Wait, no. Kribbet's Rot. Make that Plymouth Rock. I'm getting much dumber by watching these two minutes of television, but it is totally worth it. And TRAIN…twice!
We began last night's episode as Karen and Ramona head to Renee's, and Karen has some major extensions. It's the afternoon of that dreaded brunch, and Renee is filling in the ladies on Carla's behavior. There is a lot of bleeping. Renee thinks that Carla is addicted to sleeping with married men. Renee reveals that neither Drita nor Big Ang came to her defense, and at one point, Carla threatened her life with a butter knife. Ramona is curious as to whether Carla planned to Grey Poupon Renee to death. The girl has jokes! It's jokeable…if that's a word. Karen shares that back in the day, they would have thrown Carla in the trunk of a car and threatened her family's life just to scare her a bit. Glad to see they've grown and matured.
Carla and her kids are playing in their pool, and she is getting the skinny on Joe's new house from the twins. She is shocked to learn that her husband and his girlfriend love to cook for the kids. Her children love the new lady Raquel as she takes them to Coney Island and does nice stuff for them. Carla is confused as to why a nice, young girl would want to get involved with an older, not yet divorced guy with kids who just got out of the slammer. Her kids are adorable.
It's a small world when it comes to reality television…even smaller when you're talking about Beverly Hills. Everything seems to overlap, and the same is true when talking about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Those two are all over the place!
Of course, pimp momager Kris Jenner wants to make sure she still has the upper hand when it comes to taking care of her favorite daughter, and she's going to make sure she gets her way. Also interesting is how everyone's favorite househusband helped the couple secure their new home. We'll also hear from one of their uber famous soon-to-be neighbors.
I know it wasn't just me who watched the Real Housewives of Miami reunion and was beyond confused. Sure, Lea Black's voice annoys me to no end, and I am not a fan of how she makes passive aggressive digs under the guise of joking. However, when Ana Quincoces came out guns blazing during the sit-down, I was totally floored. To be honest, mild-mannered Ana had been my favorite. She seemed to be the voice of reason. However, her actions on the reunion, to me, screamed that she was trying to remain relevant, following the reality mantra that the loudest gets the most attention…and attention, bad or good, is reality gold.
Ana showed up to the reunion with her voice loud and her silly file folder, hitting below the belt with ageist insults and accusations of sleeping around. It was ugly. The worst part is that had Ana refrained from such unbecoming behavior, the shrill and obnoxious Lea would have likely made herself look like a fool. Now, Ana has turned her into a victim.
In her Bravo blog, Ana does her best to defend her actions, but, in my opinion, she ends up sounding even worse. Of course, Lea isn't much better when she speaks out against Ana's attack. I have to keep reminding myself that these are grown women, successful women. I guess that's what happens when you add a camera and an audience to your life. Sheesh!
You know it's a serious reality star divorce when everyone from lawyers to money mag writers are talking to any and all media outlets. It certainly won't be the last we hear about the divorce proceedings between Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy.
Speaking to Celebuzz, celebrity attorney Raoul Felder gives his take on the Bethenny Ever After star's divorce. Known as the "Duke of Divorce," Raoul is not representing Bethenny, but he understands why she came out of the gate with such strong demands, including primary physical custody of Bryn, child support, and medical expenses. She can always compromise, but if she doesn't ask for certain things right out of the gate, she can't ask for them later. He shares, “There was nothing unusual here as she was claiming everything (in a bid) to protect herself, but things will change as the divorce progresses.”
He adds, “I understand they had a pre-nuptial agreement but Bethenny Frankel is very shrewd and she will not want to run up huge attorney’s fees and court costs in a protracted divorce. She will try and thrash-out an amicable deal and end this marriage in a quick and clean fashion. She was obviously unhappy in her marriage and called time on that and is now moving on the best way she can.”
I can hear my mom's words of wisdom echoing in my ears…"If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you!" Granted, I've never cheated with–or on–anyone (but, well, there was high school. Does that count?), but it's advice that totally translates into the grown-up world. However, can we technically call LeAnn Rimes an adult? She's constantly tearlessly crying in interviews about never having the opportunity to be a child, so perhaps she's regressed. Regardless, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville is likely smug upon hearing this latest gossip.
A quick breakdown (as if y'all need it): Brandi's husband Eddie Cibrian cheated on her with SUR waitress Scheana Marie Jancan (that is no one's given name!). When Eddie then cheated with LeAnn, Scheana went to the press to complain about how heartbroken she was when her affair ended because Eddie found another mistress. High five, Brandi! You came out on top of this cluster for sure!
I don't know about you, but I find it very fishy that this news is coming to light way after it acutally happened. Funny how Bravo is trying to promoteLisa Vanderpump's(love her!) new show Vanderpump Rules on which Scheana plays a bullied, overly sexed, wannabe pop star waitress…It's what publicity stunts are made of, right?
Gracious though, when you read Sheana's interview, which occurred after her sit-down with Brandi, you'll shake your head and wonder if she has a publicist. Sheana is still taking shots at Brandi while playing the victim. Um, I'm sorry. I don't care how horrid the woman was whose husband you were bedding, you're still the other woman. She can call you names, and she can be mean to you. You slept with her husband! I'm speaking to Scheana in first person because she strikes me as the type of fame hungry girl that will read every blog written about her. Scheana, I'm not hating, I'm just trying to give you some sincere feedback. Oh, and by the way, NEVER record that breathy porn song you sang on Vanderpump Rules. The world, and iTunes, sends their thanks.