You know, I'd really been so sick of watching Candy Apples and comedian chatter that I was actually looking forward to having the old gang return on last night's Dance Moms…that was until I watched! I feel so horribly about how those poor girls are treated!
Abby Lee Miller is back in Pennsylvania, and she bragging all about judging Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. She chastises all the girls–well, except for Maddie, of course–who didn't come visit her while in Los Angeles, and she reminds her students that she has the attendance rosters so she knows who was slacking off and who was actually practicing. Christi explains that the moms (minus Melissa, obviously) made a pact not to send their girls to the West Coast competition.
Now, the women bring out the worst in each other (how cringe-worthy was it last week when Jacq was screeching on the phone in the middle of that boutique?), and the claws come out both on the show and on social media.
This week in her Bravo blog, Jacqueline addresses why she didn't check herself into that insane asylum go on that retreat and responds to Joe Guidice's comments about autism not being a bad disease since some sufferers end up being scientists. That Joe–he's got a way with words, doesn't he?
It's time for another installment of everyone's favorite Peach State telenovela! Last night's Love & Hip Hop Atlanta did not disappoint. I found love with the kind hearted Poppa J. who makes Stevie's grossness and disgusting misogynistic actions even more of a mystery to me.
Rasheeda comes to Mimi Faust's apartment to vent about husband Kirk Frost's behavior at the lake with Benzino. She reveals that, yes, she did tell Kirk to do him, so she can't be totally shocked by his trysts. Um, no. She told Kirk to do him, she didn't tell Kirk to do video vixens in a hot tub. A teary Rasheeda remembers the Kirk she met as a teenager and cries that she didn't get married to get divorced…especially pregnant with his child.
Lil' Scrappy decides to do the right thing and redo his pee test. Unfortunately, he's been smizz-ni-oking the marijuizzlefashizzle, and he's hoping the judge will be lenient with him. Scrap's attorney has also given him the name of a good drug counselor who can help him get to the bottom of why he needs to get high. One look at Momma Dee raving about how Erica Dixon is a farm animal in the pastures of her palace and I have his answer…free of charge.
Holy majoley. Nothing about the Kardashian/Jenner krowd shocks me anymore. With Kris Jenner's talk show hitting special markets this week for a test run, you had to know she would do something ridiculous in a lame ratings boost. Of course, I'm not the only one who thinks that Kris is hella annoying. Robert Kardashian's ex-wife has filed counterclaims in the lawsuit waged against her by the Kardashians, and things are bound to get ugly.
Page Six shares that Kris is already using her granddaughter North as a ploy to get attention. The pimp momager, whose show talk show debuted yesterday, teased about a special guest star when she posted a photo on Twitter and Facebook of herself cradling a baby. The caption? "You never know who will stop by our show today! #WatchKris" You know Kanye West was not informed of this madness!
The show, which premiered on Fox affiliates in Los Angeles, New York, Minneapolis, Charlotte, Phoenix, and Dallas, did not feature any famous newborns with directional names. Kris told the bummed audience, "I couldn't do that to Kim. That would be kidnapping," adding that Kim would share Nori "on her own time." However, Kris did showcase a baby…that belonged to her stylist Monica. Low, Kris. Low.
It's never a dull moment with the girls of Princesses: Long Island. Last night there was more girl drama and PDA to go around, but thankfully the ladies refrained from drink throwing and ugly cry mode. They're really maturing, aren't they?
Joey Lauren, Amanda Bertoncini, andErica Gimbeldecide to go on a run, and I think it's time for Erica to invest in a sports bra. I'm also super curious as to what Amanda is wearing on her bottom half. The girls dish about Chanel Omari's bizarre behavior at Amanda's Drink Hanky party, and Joey questions Ashlee White's snobbery. She gets teary when she hears that Ashlee tried to get Erica and Amanda not to like her. While Amanda likes Ashlee, she knows her friend looks down on Joey for not coming from money. Erica and Amanda give Joey tips on how to compose a mature text to Ashlee to resolve their differences.
Meanwhile, Chanel is channeling her inner SJP circa Square Pegs and meeting with her rabbi in some very Mo Rocco shades. She needs his guidance after her breakdown at the white party. He basically tells her to suck it up and show restraint in the face of drink throwing asshats, although he's much more eloquent. When she expresses her fears over never marrying, he urges her to use Jewish history as inspiration to know that nothing is impossible. I may need to schedule a session with Rabbi Cohen.
One, do you think that any of the cast members from Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta should get the boot from the show? No? Me neither. However, apparently we will be bidding farewell to two of our favorite dramatic reality stars.
The big question–are they two that you could live without on this crazy phenomenon? And how did this come to be? Would you be shocked to find out that the pair allegedly got fired on the spot while filming this season's reunion show last week?
Isn't there a saying about glass houses and throwing stones? I'd like to modify it just a tad. Those who get wasted and curl up in suitcases shouldn't toss fake Birkins at those who get drunk and practically naked in public. We're all just trying to get by, right?