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Jersey Shore is drawing to a close, and I'm equal parts sad and relieved.  Okay, so maybe not equal parts…I'm more relieved than sad.  Just like the shirt before the shirt, tonight is the episode before the finale.  I am going to miss these crazy kids.  They love each other without question.  Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Vinny Guadagnino, Pauly "DJ Pauly D" Delvechhio, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Deena Nicole Cortese, and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, I'm honestly going to miss you.  Call me.  Seriously.  And God speed. 

I realize they are probably too old to be the party animals they are at this age (although that throws a wrench in my social plans), but they are still human, vulnerable, and fun-loving.  You can't help but relate to that…or maybe you can't, but I can.

On last night's episode, the boys have recently made peace with JionniJenni calls Roger who reveals that Jenni has been pot stirring about Jionni's mismatched relationships with the guy roommates.  Jenni isn't happy that Jionni says she's been talking crap about her.  Rawn is quick to defend Jenni although he knows what was said at the guys' night out.  Jenni decides to go straight to the source and calls Jionni.  She questions why Jionni thinks that she's been talking smack.  As far as Jenni is concerned, Jionni wasn't present for the first half of the summer.  He bends, she forgives, and the pair loves each other for the sake of Snooki.

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It was the _____________ (thanks, Mary!) heard 'round the world when Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Brandi Glanville called out Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif for ______________.  It was very dramatic, not to mention very confusing.  Of course, Paul wasn't bleeped when he accused Brandi of being such a hard partying mom that she neglected her boys by sleeping until 3pm everyday.  How very nocturnal! 

Brandi denied Paul's claims with some more bleeping, and now her former roommate is coming to Brandi's defense to set the record straight.  Brandi's biffle (and a reality star in her own right thanks to Dr. Drew) Jennifer Giminez finds Paul's statement ridiculous, and she's also got some words for Adrienne for calling Brandi a drug addict. 

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Abby Lee Miller and her troupe of over the top crazy mothers will be dancing back onto Lifetime soon for the third season of Dance Moms.  Personally, I'm more looking forward to seeing the super talented kids than the mama drama, but I know I can't have one without the other!  It helps to think that they are all really just amping up the insanity for the cameras, because I truly believe that all of the moms are actually good friends, and Abby can't really behave like she does in real life.  Right?

Melissa Gisoni is mom to Abby's pet Maddie and spitfire MacKenzie.  She's often criticized by the other ladies for brown nosing Abby, as well as the amount of special treatment Maddie garners.  Her recent engagement was a story line in the sophomore season, with Melissa's lawyer sending all of her co-star moms cease and desist letters when they mentioned her fiance on the show.  Okay, so maybe they aren't that good of friends…

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You know what they say, where there's smoke, there's usually fire…and when the same Kardashian rumors keep circulating again and again, there has to be some truth to them, right?  Once again there are rumblings of a fed up Bruce Jenner ready to divorce his pimp wife Kris Jenner.    I mean if Bruce has any lick of sense about him, he can't be happy in his marriage–especially if it's anything like we see portrayed on Keeping Up With the Kardashians

Of course, it has been kind of quiet on the Kardashian front of late, so the revival of marital discord gossip could be Kris' attempt at getting her name back in the media.  We all know she's really good at that!  These new rumors have Bruce moving daughters Kendall and Kylie out of the family home before Kris can railroad their remaining teenage years into reality gold.  They are daughters, not brands!

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If Camille Grammer wasn't absent from the opening credits of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I'd never believe she's been demoted to "friend" of the housewives.  She's more present now than she's been in past seasons.  I'm not complaining…I think Camille is hilarious.

Her divorce from Kelsey Grammer has long been finalized, but their issues with each other are still as rampant as ever.  The more I hear about Kelsey and his irresponsible and arrogant ways, the happier I am I never watched Frazier.  To borrow a term from Andy Cohen, he seems to be quite the jackhole.  Now Kelsey has taken their parenting war to an entirely different level by not allowing his children to mention Camille when they are with him.  Explain to me how that isn't hard on those poor kids!?!

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Oh Evelyn Lozada.  You keep doing your thing, and I'll continue to have a job.  It's a win-win!  Geez, the Basketball Wives star needs to teach a class at a local college called Staying Relevant 101.  Perhaps it could parlay into an upper lever professorial career.  If there is one thing that Evelyn knows, it's how to throw a wine bottle keep her name in the media.  Surely it has to get exhausting, right?

Not only has Evelyn just unveiled her new PETA photo shoot, she's also responding vehemently to haters.  I KNEW it!  All of Ev's fur vests were faux, and her leather boots/gladiator footwear/snakeskin stilettos were so fake.  She's a friend of animals even if she's not a friend of actual humans.  Evelyn is so multi-faceted.  Don't you agree?  I know you don't, and I love you all for it!

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I know I've said it before, but I love, love, LOVE the Robertson family.  If I didn't think Jase and his wifey were so adorbs, he would totally be my dream guy.  Yes, I'm talking about that little gem on A&E known as Duck Dynasty.  Sure, the situations they get into are definitely scripted, but the love and hilarity is so real.  Duck Dynasty is what reality programming should always be like…it's the same reason I watch Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Jersey Shore.  They all truly care for one another. 

Yes, they're hairy and silly and don't shower that often, but they are all very intelligent and kind.  Did you know that Phil is a former school teacher who declined the NFL draft while playing first-string quarterback at Louisiana Tech?  The second-string quarterback when Phil played was NFL Hall-of-Famer Terry Bradshaw.  All of his boys went to college, and they all became Duck Masters except for Al who used to be a minister…he's also the only one sans beard.  Okay, okay, I'll stop with the ridiculous Robertson trivia.  I just love them…and now they've given me yet another reason. 

The Robertsons typically live under the radar (minus the whole reality show thing), but now they are using their popularity for the greater good.  I am not at all surprised.  These are good people, y'all, and if you've never watched, I highly encourage you to do so.  It's drama-free fun…and cute burly men!

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Last night's Teen Mom 2 was thankfully less dramatic than normal.  It was a refreshing break from the normal yelling and sobbing.  Of course there were tears (after all Chelsea Houska is still on the show!), but it wasn't the normal Jenelle Evans drama.  Kailyn Lowry ended a relationship while Leah Messer started a new one.  Over all, it was a relatively low-key episode.

Jordan is still distrusting of Kailyn when it comes to her spending time with Jo.  While I can see his point with her, I don't think he needs to worry about Jo…he seems to be well over Kailyn.  The following day at school, Kailyn chats with a friend about their love triangle…and there's that flipping feather in her hair!  Her friend wants her to try being single for a while.  Kailyn hasn't been single since she was fifteen.  She basically admits that she's with Jordan for support.

Jenelle is trying to put her anger towards her mom aside so she can spend time with Jace.  His second birthday is coming up, but she can't plan a party because she's too busy lunching with friends and worrying about her parole violation.  I'm guessing she's probably smoking a bunch of weed as well.  Jenelle has decided that she's going to quit smoking and send her probation officer an apology letter in hopes of avoiding jail time.  Her friend Tori promises to quit smoking as well so Jenelle won't have to be drug-free all alone.  Sweet!

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