Holy heck! Are y'all still reeling from the insanity that was the season finale of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta this week? I get tickled just thinking about it. Who's down with LPG? (Yeah, not Mimi!) Stevie J. hit a new low–or comedic high–when he proposed to both Joseline Hernandez and Mimi Faust in an attempt to create a Life Partner Gang.
While poor Joseline lost her shizz to the max and tried clock Stevie (and everyone who tried to stop her from getting to Stevie), Mimi cackled and laughed like a mean girl…as if she'd never been poorly treated and humiliated by Stevie in the past. Well, according to Mimi, she's still laughing…all the way to the bank.
You know, sometimes when the women of the different housewives franchises are promoting their endeavors, they seem real and down-to-earth. Then there are times when one will try to sound real and down-to-earth and end up coming across as totally ridiculous. In my opinion, this is what happened in a recent interview with Real Housewives of New Jersey'sMelissa Gorga.
I'm neither a fan nor a hater of Melissa, but gracious, she sounds so self-important when all I think she's trying to do is promote her new tome and connect with her fans, but it's just too much. I'm sure she's a nice girl, but please. I'll let you decide for yourselves, but in the meantime…bless her heart.
Speaking to the a local New Jersey CBS station, Melissa shares that she's always up for meeting her adoring fans. I'm sure she is! She says, “I’m very welcoming to the fans, I always take pictures and always talk to everyone. I would never come all the way out there and not talk to people.” Melissa knows who pays the bills!
Have y'all missed Cathy and the Candy Apples? Abby Lee Miller certainly has not, and we got to hear all about it on last night's Dance Moms. Is it just me, or has this been like the longest season in the show's history? Geez Louise!
After touting her recital as a raving success, Abby goes straight into the pyramid. Not surprisingly, Paige is on the bottom for not participating, followed by sister Brooke. Abby rants on about how she was giving Brooke the opportunity to resurrect her old song, but that Kelly loves to thwart her daughters' happiness at every turn. Kelly, Brooke, and Paige are not in attendance. Surprisingly, Asia is after Brooke, and for once, Jill and Christi may get to see more tears (they love when Asia cries, don't they?). Asia will never be allowed to dress herself after that backwards pants fiasco. Nia rounds out the bottom for just being mediocre, and Holly speaks up that Abby never gives her daughter extra time.
While Vicki and Brooks' relationship appears to be as on-and-off as a light switch, Lauri is Waring wary that the couple's recent break-up may not be what it seems. She is speculating that the pair is using the story of a turbulent love affair to appease family and friends when they are actually quite happy together behind closed doors.
Say what? A housewife manipulating her relationship status to stay in the spotlight? Unheard of!
You know that scene in Ghost when Whoopi Goldberg's character looks at Demi Moore and says, "Molly. You in danger, girl"? I picture something like that happening when I think of the recent Kardashian drama…only in my head, Kim Kardashian is Molly and the part of Oda Mae Brown is played by auto-tuned Jonathan Cheban. Why? Because Kim was in danger earlier this week!
A foolish paparazzo tried to sneak onto Kris Jenner'sproperty Monday, and the mother-daughter duo retaliated in a flurry of cell phone footage and hashtags. Hashtags? I hope she has a permit for those!
I'm convinced if their businesses bazillion ventures fail or they bid farewell to reality television (either by choice or incarceration), the women of Real Housewives of New Jersey could make fabulous livings as spin instructors. They certainly must get a good work out changing their stories every five seconds. All of the women are guilty of it, but Teresa Giudice and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga are shining professionals when it comes to spinning their version of events to make them the good guy. Hey, at least it's entertaining!
After being accused of threatening Melissa in her blog last week, Teresa clarifies her words in yesterday's Bravo entry. She promises that all of the family (well, maybe not ALL of them…she implies that one little lady is still up to her evil ways) is trying to make things better after that dramatic retreat. Tre writes, "What did you think of the Miracle at St. George? I think I haven't cried that much in my whole life. I cried all over again watching it. All this nonsense about our family not getting along for 10 years just isn't true."
Teresa continues, "You can tell from how we were at the end of the episode — cooking and laughing and enjoying each other like close families do. I wish I could have had every one of you in the room with us to feel the love. You deserve it after watching our darkest moments! Thank you all so much for keeping the faith in my family!" No problem, Billy Joel! Happy to oblige. Teresa is right on that front…we have seen a lot of darkness with the women of RHONJ, and I for one welcomed the reprieve!
Has the season of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta already flown past us in a flurry of unblinged Rolexes, popcorn hos, no-necks, cabin fever (and flings!), and Joseline Hernandez one-liners? Sadly, it appears so. Last night was the season finale, and wow. I don't know if Stevie J. totally appalls me, or if I should be impressed by his sheer ego induced stupidity.
The episode begins with Stevie asking Joseline to clarify her question. She spells it out that she is asking him to marry her. He's not willing to say yes, but he likes the ring so he'll wear it. Joseline is special to him…and she buys him expensive gifts. Stevie thinks that patience is a virtue, and Joseline is thrilled that he's kind enough to wear the token of her undying devotion. Someone get her some self-esteem STAT.
Rasheeda invites Traci Reece, Erica Dixon, and Karlie Redd over for cocktails and nursery painting. She reveals that she's having a boy…and that she's consulted an attorney about her situation with husband Kirk Frost. Erica is saddened. Whose dysfunctional relationship can she look up to now? Speaking of, Rasheeda asks about Lil' Scrappy and his problem with the wiz-nigh-ee.
While Kody Brown's hair may be my most favorite thing ever, the whole concept of Sister Wives is a bit off-putting. Perhaps if the women weren't so whiny, I could see why they'd all want to spend time together, but, alas, that isn't the case. However, I do enjoy the episodes that showcase the family's teenagers.
These kids are smart, mature, and seem to think for themselves. While Logan is Kody's mini-me, Janelle's daughter Madison totally speaks her mind. They didn't ask to be brought into this lifestyle. Being a teenager is hard enough, but being a teenager with three extra moms, a bed-hopping dad, and a gajillion half siblings–I can't imagine!
However, in Sunday's episode, Meri's daughter Mariah reveals that she wouldn't want her life any other way, and the seventeen-year-old is looking forward to the day when she has her own sister wives.