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It's bittersweet recapping the Jersey Shore this week given the destruction of Seaside Heights at the wrath of Hurricane Sandy.  I'm only hoping that for an hour we can all escape real life and enjoy the antics of these crazy adults.  Or not.  Vinny Guadagnino opens the show urging people to give to the Red Cross relief effort, as he should.  Leave it to Vin to have me tearing up less than a minute into the show.  I love that guy!

Last night's episode begins with Jenni "JWoww" Farley trying to salvage her relationship with Roger on the duck phone.  She reminds him that they live together, but he turns around to remind her that she leaves to go film these shows every couple of months.  He doesn't want to break-up with her, but Roger is so over the club scene.  He's too old.  That's progress.  Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino shares his newly coupled worries with Jenni.  He wonders if it's normal for girls to go buck wild once they become monogamous.  Paula has, much to Mike's dismay.  She talks about sex and being crazy…all the things that Sitch's virgin ears can't handle.  Give me a break!  Mike can't get over his new girlfriend's openness.  When he, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Deena Cortese head to work at the Shore Store, Rawn jokes about having sexual escapades that lasted longer than Mike's fresh and new relationship.  Deena, always the trooper, doesn't get upset when Danny makes her wear a prison jumpsuit at work.  While she believes the joke is too soon (I totally concur), she goes along with it because that's what meatballs do.  Mike tries to give his relationship the benefit of the doubt given that the pair has only been dating one day.  He's such a gentleman.  He calls Paula an 8.2 and wants to spoil her into a 10.  Wow.  Gag.  This is why I don't heart Mike.  Paula surprises Mike at the Shore Store, and both Deena and Ronnie think it's more that he can handle.  She's too comfortable. 

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Gracious alive, those women from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills have more money than they know what to do with!  When they're done installing five-star spas into guest houses, purchasing 10,000 square foot vacation homes, and buying a fleet of private jets, what do they do with the extra money?  Do they bathe in it?  Set it on fire and laugh?  Use it as toilet paper?  I am just so enthralled.

All of the women on this franchise are rich beyond my wildest imagination, but given recent and past turmoil, it just goes to show that money can't buy you happiness.  It also can't prevent one from having to go through awful experiences.  I think I'll stay comfortably poor, a-thank-you-very-much!

Today's RHOBH news focuses on Adrienne Maloof who is going through a contentious divorce with plastic surgeon husband Paul Nassif, as well as housewife newbie Yolanda Foster who has endured several health scares in the past.  None of it is pretty, and it makes me very thankful for my meager lifestyle.

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Say it ain't so!  I was upset enough to hear that my Silver Fox's daytime talk show has not been renewed, but now there are rumors swirling that Anderson Live may be replaced with Bethenny Frankel's show.  Now, I don't have anything against Bethenny (that said, I have nothing for her either), but I do adore Anderson Cooper.  Plus, having seen Bethenny's show, it's not something I would watch on a regular basis.  Anderson, however, is a daily staple. 

While I feel slightly placated due to the fact that Anderson's show will stick around until summer of next year, there is another show already circling his time slot.  Before Bethenny fans remind me that she isn't personally responsible for Anderson's cancelation and she likely has little to do with her show taking its place, I totally realize that.  It's really not so much that I'm opposed to Bethenny's show becoming syndicated, I just really enjoy Anderson's show.

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My prayers are still going out to those affected by Hurricane Sandy, and as more photos of the devastation are posted on the Internet, I am truly saddened that so many millions of people have had to experience such destruction.  Words can't adequately express how my heart goes out to those struggling to rebuild their homes and towns.

As you all know, Seaside Heights, New Jersey was one of the areas hit hardest by the super storm.  The Shore Store, the boardwalk, and a plethora of sketchy dance clubs have been the stage for everyone's favorite guidos and guidettes for several seasons on MTV's Jersey Shore.  Now the boardwalk is destroyed and parts of the iconic vacation town are underwater.  There are some photos of Seaside after Sandy below.

President Obama has declared both New Jersey and New York disaster areas, and Governor Christie of New Jersey has called the damage to his home state "unfathomable." 

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She is, she isn't.  She quit, she got fired.  Yes, no.  She wants to return, she doesn't want to return.  I feel like I'm pulling petals off a daisy when it comes to Real Housewives of Orange County's Alexis Bellino.  But guess what, y'all…she's ba-ack!

After promising anyone would listen that she wasn't coming back for another round (on her own accord, mind you), it's being reported that Alexis will be a full-time housewife on the upcoming season of RHOC.  I really can't say I'm surprised.  I'm guessing you're probably not that shocked either.

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There is no shortage of reality television to get us through the cold winter months.  Can y'all believe it's already November?  Along with the influx of new seasons of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Real Housewives of Atlanta, and Teen Mom 2, we have some other shows to look forward to in the coming weeks.

Speaking of housewives, Kody Brown, his hair, and his plethora of ladies will be returning for a fourth season of Sister Wives on TLC, and speaking of crazy manes, Jerseylicious will be back for more hair-raising antics (literally!) on the Style Network.

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Last night's Flipping Out had Jeff Lewis and crew back to normal after the gorgeous wedding of Jenni Pulos.  However, tension flares between Zoila Chavez and Gage Edward.  It's a cat fight of epic proportions between Miss Piggy and Barbie Bitch!  This looks like a job for Dr. Donna!

Jeff's cat Monkey has an eye infection and can't keep any food down, so he has Jenni make a vet appointment.  Monkey is his first pet, and he's had him for twelve years.  Jeff begins teasing Zoila about making an unintentional but inappropriate hand gesture when asking the security guard through the window if he wanted some water.  Everyone but Jenni jumps on board and makes fun of her about it.  Zoila gets upset, and Jenni scolds everyone for bullying.  Jeff tells Zoila that she can dish it but can't take it.  Looks like that therapy session didn't help as much as one could have hoped!

In the car, Jeff jokes with Vanina about her recent break-up, promising her she'll find love again.  If Jenni can do it, anyone can!  Jenni stays quiet, but when Jeff asks her what's wrong she brings up his awful wedding jokes.  He talks about how is ADD was all over the place during speech after boring speech, and he didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.  He admits to being rude, but only because he was subjected to so many horribly long toasts.  Jenni reminds Jeff that Jonathan hasn't known him as long as she has, so he may be more sensitive to Jeff's humor.  She gets some semblance of an apology, and all is well.

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As if Khloe Kardashian having to share the stage with sister Kim's ex-husband Damon Thomas wasn't enough (I'm still crossing my fingers they'll end up biffles–how hilarious would that be?), now we have a list of the X Factor's contestants' house rules.  Admittedly, while I love a singing competition, much of my viewing of them comes from YouTube clips.  You all have to remember Susan Boyle's Britain's Got Talent audition, right?  I get teary just thinking about it.  Simon Cowell, the hardazz, chewing on his pen while falling in love?  Priceless!

That said, I've been lukewarm on the X Factor thus far this season.  I was actually glad that Britney Spears didn't turn into the train wreck that seemed to be expected of her, and after getting Demi Lovato's newest song stuck in my head 24/7 and knowing her struggles, I like her as well.  Who is there for me to snark on if I like everyone involved?  Thankfully, knowing what the contestants are and aren't allowed to do, I have a new outlet, and it's awesome.  Let's face it, the rules I'm about to share with you are less about compliance and more about human decency and common sense.  Thankfully, peeps who are trying to make their name on reality television have neither!

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