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Another Monday night, another episode where people have nothing better to do than meet for a) cocktails; b) lunch; c) breakfast; d) dinner; or e) all of the above.  Are the VH1 producers actually asleep when they plan these episodes?  Have they just totally given up completely?  Oh well.  Last night's Basketball Wives LA was more of the same, beginning with Wacky Jackie Christie's attempt at a make-up party.

Draya Michele and Malaysia Pargo are the first ladies to arrive for the soiree.  Draya is a tad weirded out by the fact Jackie has framed pictures of the women all over the food table.  It looks like a very fancy deli section at your local Harris Teeter.  Take the stuff out of the plastic!  It doesn't have to be served on a silver platter, but no one wants to see how much you spend on that egg salad!  Laura Govan warily arrives second.  Draya accuses Jackie of not trusting her to speak with Gloria Govan and calling Gloria herself.  Gloria arrives with Brooke Bailey.  Jackie shares that Draya is upset with her for calling Gloria, to which Gloria responds, if it weren't for Draya explaining the situation, she would have never come to Jackie's. 

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What happens when you take a show centered around a cooking club in Miami and splice and edit it into a housewives show?  You get a boring season with a confusing dinner party in each episode.  However, what happens when you revamp that season, let the ladies know to bring the drama, and replace some Basketball Wives with a supermodel and some successful surgically enhanced professionals?  Amazingness…that's what.  The only constant is Mama Elsa.

Real Housewives of Miami has certainly found its footing as a legitimate member of the Bravo franchise.  These women (and their ginormous boobs!) certainly know how to bring the drama.  Case in point?  Joanna Krupa had a meltdown of epic proportions on the most recent episode, ruining the 10th anniversary party for her fiance's nightclub…all thanks to a cheating DJ.  Now that's what I'm talking about, ladies!

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It seems that almost everyday there's a little buzz about which city will be hosting the next round of Bravo insanity with its own set of overly catty, surgically enhanced, and Botoxed to the hilt drama queens…marriage license preferred but certainly not required. 

While the Bravo cash cow has women fighting each other in franchises all over the country, one rumor has been consistent for a while.  Could Bravo be heading to the homeland of Eden and Cruz (yeah, I went there!) to film the next installment?  With the original Real Housewives of Orange County still bringing in the ratings and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills still bringing the most-talked about dramatics, wouldn't it make sense to go back to Cali for the next batch of crazy? 

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Giuliana and Bill Rancic's lives have been an open book even before they started documenting their marriage on their hit reality show Giuliana and Bill.  She is a long time E! correspondent, and he is a past Apprentice winner and public speaker.  Also, given that Giuliana considers the ultimate fame mongering reality persona to be her second mother, it's only natural everything she and her husband do involve a camera crew.

Giuliana shared her struggles with infertility with her fans, as well as her battle with breast cancer.  However, when the couple's son was born via gestational surrogate, they didn't allow the cameras in to film the birth.  Instead they opted to video the birth themselves so they could have it for their personal footage. 

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Oh. Em. Gee.  It's ironic that I am writing a blog about Melissa Gorga's time on Real Housewives of New Jersey while watching this explosive reunion.  I am only seven minutes in and Teresa Giudice is claiming she never said things that Bravo caught on camera.  Wow.  That said, Jacqueline Laurita needs to take her new found backbone and zip it.  Gahhhh!  I so wish someone other than Andy Cohen were mediating this snit show ;)John Salley, perhaps?  Kidding.  We need Anderson Cooper!

Melissa is speaking out about her time on the show, saying that while it ruined her family, she wouldn't change the experience.  Of course she wouldn't.  I am starting to wonder if any of these women isn't a total fame seeking mess.  Holy heck, did Teresa just make Nicholas' autism about her???  I am going to get back to this post before I reach through my television.  It's bad when these women are making Danielle Staub look sane.  Okay, I'm back on track.  I think.  So, let's revisit Melissa talking about her time on the show, shall we?

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If you had told me when Real Housewives of Atlanta started that NeNe Leakes would be the breakout star, I would totally have agreed with you.  However, if you had told me she would segue her Bravo gig into a legitimate acting career, I would have pointed you in the direction of the nearest loony bin.  Clearly, I was wrong.

NeNe is now commuting between Atlanta and Los Angeles where she is filming the NBC sitcom The New Normal.  She's no longer screaming in Kim Zolciak's face.  Instead she's trading jokes with The Ellen Barkin.  So, it begs the question…will NeNe be a reality star or an actress?  NeNe seems conflicted herself.

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Project Runway All Stars is returning to Lifetime with some fan favorites…and not so favorites!  There will be cat suits and cat fights, mark my words.  Thirteen past designers will be back to compete for the reward that eluded them their first go-round.  Each of the nine past seasons are represented except for season 4, but the majority of players are from the more recent seasons. 

Iconic fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi returns to judge alongside the gorgeous Georgina Chapman who is the co-founder of Marchesa.  Supermodel Carolyn Murphy (who is as intelligent as she is beautiful–her bio?  Whoa!) will take over this season's hosting duties.  Joanna Coles, former editor-in-chief of Marie Claire/just named editor-in-chief of Cosmo, resumes her role as all-star mentor.  I like Joanna, but I sure do miss Tim Gunn when he's gone!

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Another day, another saga in the Adrienne Maloof/Paul Nassif divorce.  The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills couple as been dragging each other through the mud since their separation was made public.  After allegations of verbal and physical abuse against each other, Adrienne accused Paul of being violent towards their children.  An emergency hearing was held, and Adrienne was awarded temporary sole custody of the pair's sons.

This week, the Department of Children and Family Services found that the claims of abuse against the children were unfounded, and Paul went to court to regain visitation with his three boys.  Yesterday, Paul was awarded supervised visitation of his children.  Um…didn't he just get cleared?  Sounds like there could be more to the story and the flying accusations!

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