Shocking news, y'all! I know you are going to be floored when you hear this…because it totally wasn't anything you were expecting to hear! Basketball Wives star Tami Roman is claiming that the fifth season will stay away from lady drama and focus on the women's families. Did you ever think you'd hear that announcement? Shaunie O'Neal's PR people must be working overtime. These girls must think their fan base is totally idiotic.
Let's get this straight, we have four seasons of bottle throwing, weave pulling, bad press, and negative viewer response, and we're all just supposed to forget about it because now your focusing on families? It's a brilliant marketing ploy if I've ever heard one…if the watchers of BBW were ten years old! Am I being too harsh?
Everyday Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star Lisa Vanderpump gives me a reason to love her even more. I'll be honest, I wasn't on board with Lisa in earlier seasons. It's not that I didn't like her, it's just that I was indifferent towards her. Oh, how times have changed!
This season's Lisa is every bit as stylish and classy as she's been the past two seasons, but it's awesome to see her forming opinions and standing up for her friends. Yes, she's brash and brutally honest, but she's also (in my opinion) totally genuine and grounded. Not to mention, I love her wardrobe, her precious son-in-law, and the romance that is still totally alive between her and Ken Todd. You just can't fake that kind of relationship. She's real…and she could buy and sell me a thousand times over!
Not only has Lisa gained a spin-off (can't wait!) due to her RHOBH popularity, but she's also getting outside deals. First up? She's judging the Miss Universe pageant alongside Kourtney Kardashian's beau Scott Disick. Did I mention that she's nothing if not honest?
Oh Phaedra Parks, you always tell it like it is. The lawyer/mortician hybrid from Real Housewives of Atlanta loves to enlighten us all with her Southern analogies and Donkey Booty. While she can be sweet as sugar, I certainly wouldn't want to cross her.
This season we're seeing more of Phaedra (literally! Was she serious with that thong bathing suit??), and we're also getting to see more of her spitfire personality. In other words, we learn that Phaedra doesn't like to share…when it comes to her husband Apollo Nida. Of course, who can blame her?
My good gracious! Another Kardashian post so close to Christmas? I must be on the naughty list this year. I'll be honest, I'd rather receive a lump of coal than to have to pontificate on this fake family during the holidays. I do it for you, dear readers. You mean more to me than my disdain for this crowd. Isn't that what Christmas is all about? You're welcome.
In today's news, Kris Jenner is trying to maintain her now faux marriage to husband Bruce despite a ridiculous amount of divorce rumors circulating in the media. Also, sources are claiming that Nick Cannon was also a victim of Kim Kardashian's infamous sex tape. I can't wait to hear the chain of information that led him to this conclusion!
Finally, Bruce is opening up to the media about his ties to Newtown, Connecticut and the Sandy Hook murders. While typing that makes me want to vomit (let this community grieve without reality television intervention!), it's what he's talking about now. I used to like you, Bruce, but I've lost all respect if you're trying to maintain relevancy in light of this horrific event. Sidebar, and this has nothing to do with this blog, but from here on out (sorry for the soapbox) will we please refer to the Sandy Hook shootings as a mass murder and the man that took those innocent lives (I won't give his name more credence here) as a murderer? I read a compelling article the other day that noted in school shootings the public regresses to words like "shooter" and "victims" instead of using "murderer" and "slain" or "dead" in these types of tragedies. If someone killed a gas station attendant, we'd call it a murder, why don't we say that now? Off my soapbox and onto the Kardashian kraziness. I taught first grade for several years, so I am a tad raw at the moment…as no doubt you are.
Moving along (so, so sorry for the rant!), Kris is determined to make sure that her failing marriage doesn't drown the empire she's created around her children (notice I don't say the empire created FOR her children). What won't this woman do?
Oh, Pauly "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio…have you been cheating on me? No? Well, you've been cheating on MTV, although I can't say I blame you. You were enticed by the dimples and flashy Kardashian representation that Ryan Seacrest provides. I don't think anyone will judge you.
The acronym creating, high hair wearing, "cabs are heeya" screaming star of Jersey Shore is getting a new show…and it's not on the network that made him an international reality star and a household name. That's right. He's potentially moving on to E! What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to hop to another channel for more money. I'm not hating, Pauly…I want you in my TV line-up regardless.
We begin as Leah and Jeremy make it official after her first motorcycle ride. When he asks about what went wrong with Corey to which she replies, "He did some things, I did some things." Jeremy doesn't care. He couldn't be happier that he sent that Facebook friend request!
Chelsea's friend has encouraged her to see a therapist. Chelsea isn't ready to give up Adam, but she admits to having issues with depression and low self-esteem before Adam ever came along.
Jenelle is passing all of her drug tests, and she's back in school. She has lunch with her mom Barbara, and she admits that she's stopped taking her bi-polar meds. Barbara wants Jenelle to make a doctor's appointment to refill her prescription which Jenelle says she'll do "when she has time." We all know how that turns out, don't we? She admits to her mother that she's going to hang out with a new guy. Barbara thinks that a new skinny kid is exactly what her daughter needs to take her mind off of Kieffer. She praises Jenelle's more responsible attitude and agrees to let her take Jace to Myrtle Beach for the day.
When Jo comes to pick up Isaac, Kailyn is crying over Jordan. He tries to console her by telling her any guy that would stand her up isn't worth the tears. Poor Jo. He can't win for losing.
And we're back with the second dose of Basketball Wives LA Reunion madness. I don't know if you're considering it a Christmas miracle to get two recaps back to back or if you're wondering how naughty you must have been this year to deserve two helpings of this madness in one day. I hope it's the former. Let's check in with John Salley and his purple plaid, shall we?
We return with the ladies holding up their cards sharing who should exit stage left from the show next season. You have captivated me, John Salley, that is for sure! Laura and Jackie's duel is in full force, and I adore that John has finally stood up so that we could regale his attire in all it's Urkel glory. Who is styling these folks? Getting back to the situation at hand, the majority of the women are ready to get rid of the Sisters Govan and Bambi for next season. Most of the women believe that Gloria is too snooty for the show. Jackie calls out herself…just to play the martyr. She was concerned that most of the women would pick her (they didn't). Jackie says that even though no one may want her back, she'll be back regardless.
RT readers and Basketball Wives LA fans, please accept my sincerest apologies. I had no clue that the first half of the reunion was airing immediately after the finale, and for some reason my season pass didn't record it. I realize it's a week late, but I hope you enjoy the recap. The second half of the reunion will be posted later today.
John Salley introduces the newbies, and is it just me, or is he dressed like Willie Wonka? He welcomes Brooke Bailey and Bambi before touting the veterans, Gloria Govan, Laura Govan, Malaysia Pargo, Draya Michele…and of course, the lady who carried the season, Jackie Christie. John shares that this year the reunion will have some surprises and many more fan questions. Jackie is sporting her finest vinyl dominatrix attire. We revisit the beginning of the season when Malaysia was trying to get the girls on board with reconciling with Jackie. We all know how that went! Jackie reveals that she returned to prove that she wasn't the pot stirrer we saw last season. Uh huh.
Starting in with the viewer questions, John asks why Malaysia worked so hard to bring Jackie back into the group. Malaysia counters that she is an actual basketball wife (smack in the face of 90% of her co-stars), and her breasts on On Display, as Melissa Gorga would say. Another viewer wonders about Laura's evil behavior to Jackie, and Laura owns up to it. Her girls are also all out for us to see. I'm starting to notice that they all are…except for that random blonde chick…oh wait, that's Bambi. Laura and Jackie get into a back-and-forth about Laura's need for tit-for-tat. Insults are hurled and John Salley can't seem to bring the women back into the Chocolate Factory. VH1, you are usually so generous with the subtitles….what happened?