It's not enough for theReal Housewives of New Jersey to "entertain" us with a three-part reunion. Oh no, we have to be faced with all of them in the media on every single day of the week. I'm going back and forth like a pair of windshield wipers in a monsoon, that's for sure. After the second installment of the reunion, I'm just in shock. I was mortified and humiliated for Teresa Giudice for every second that Juicy Joe was on that couch. I was sick that Jacqueline Laurita called out such personal things in their marriage, but I honestly think she was provoked. Shame on both of them.
Melissa Gorga is every bit as manipulative as her sister-in-law, which I've always believed. Again, she's just so much better at learning to keep her mouth shut to play the victim. Kathy Wakile has her baked goods, so I'm happy for her. I've never come out and said it (and I'm ready for the backlash…kind of…sort of…maybe), but Caroline Manzo doesn't bother me. I get when people say she's too into her grown kids, and I understand that she may play the matriarch card to a ridiculous degree. However, do I think she's a bully? Not entirely. I just think she has a very low tolerance for BS. Y'all can call it saving face (and maybe it is, what do I know?), but I think she has been nothing but rational and even-keeled during this train wreck of a reunion. When Teresa started bowing down on the table, thanking God that her former friends were out of her life, I couldn't believe what I was watching. Bravo will probably enlist Dr. Sophy next, mark my words. Perhaps the world is ending with the Mayan calendar…
So, after an ill-fated extra hour on Andy Cohen's sofas, the women have retreated to their multi-media outlets to wage battle once again. Whether it's Twitter, their personal web sites, or gossip blog interviews, it seems a lot easier to spew the hate when no one is screaming across the set. They're all doing it, don't get me wrong…but Teresa has had some gems in the last twenty-four plus hours.
Jackie Christie is beyond thrilled that Laura Govan is open to reconciling, and Jackie is telling Laura about her lunch meeting with Draya Michele. She informs Laura that Draya stormed out of their meeting, and Laura is confused as to why Jackie even cares. She feels Jackie is so desperate for friendship when she should just focus on people with whom she won't have issues. Jackie doesn't quite detail the lunch in the way I remember, and she is quick to say that she wants to give Draya another chance. Jackie isn't sure if she should invite Draya to her vow renewal since she didn't come last year. Laura just can't believe that Jackie cares whether Draya comes or not, given the day is essentially about her and Doug.
Malaysia Pargo is styling in some giant glasses in her interview. She meets with Gloria Govan to discuss the relationship with the Sisters Govan. Gloria is sporting some oversize reading glasses as well. Did these women develop vision problems in the last week? It's like LensCrafters just blew up in here! I do love that Malayasia has taken on the role of peacemaker this season. She shares that Gloria has hurt Laura's feelings with her distance. Gloria promises she'll talk to her sister, and she appreciate Malaysia being such a good friend to Laura.
So, let's get this straight, shall we? Alexis Bellino has allegedly quit Real Housewives of Orange County, but yet she can't stop talking about it. And neither can her co-stars. There is so much she said/she said with these original ladies they may start being confused for their New Jersey counterparts. Totally kidding! The O.C. is too blonde.
Last season, Heather Dubrow lead the charge against Jesus Barbie in an attempt to find out why she needed to be equal parts fake and pretentious. As you recall, it didn't go well. Now Heather is back in media to dispute Alexis' multiple claims in the media that she quit the show instead of not being asked to return. Does it matter? Either way I have an Alexis-free season, and while I don't really like any of the women anymore (shocking, I know), she grated on my last nerve.
Phewwww! At least I'm not the only one! After a few weeks of watching Basketball Wives L.A., I had started to worry that I was the only one growing bored of its formulaic lunch meetings and cocktail hours where the entire conversation seemed to be centered around what to make of Jackie Christie. Should the women befriend her? Should they keep her at arm's length? Should they order another cocktail? Yawn.
Apparently, other people feel my pain. The show's second season premiered to relatively high ratings, but viewer numbers have been in a decline ever since. I'd like to say that I'm shocked, but thankfully I recognize that the average viewer is a lot smarter than I am and now refuses to turn in to a show that seems to revolve around one character with all the other women just orbiting around her.
Smoochie! You have to love Here Comes Honey Boo Boo! Actually, I know a lot of you don't, but I'll be honest–I just don't get it. While there may be an over abundance of cheese balls and neck rust, there is also an over abundance of love.
If you've been following the the lives of Honey Boo Boo, Mama June, Sugar Bear, Chickadee, Chubbs, and Pumpkin, you are not alone. The family has garnered national attention for doing nothing more than living their own lives by grossing out half the population…and engrossing the other–including comedienne Rosie O'Donnell.
I believe that the Countess said it best when she sang (rapped?) "Money Can't Buy You Class." That seems to go double for the children of the women in the Bravo franchise. Many have had situations that don't necessarily paint them in the best of light. Again, I think the Countess can attest to that as well!
Well, now I think one of the Real Housewives of Miami offspring may have just taken the cake. Alexia Echevarria's son Peter Rosello was known on the first season as the kid whose self-confidence she was trying to build by getting him into modeling. He may be a model, but he certainly wasn't displaying model behavior when he videotaped himself punching a homeless person in his business and then posted the video online. I just can't make up this stuff!
First up we check in with the two roommates who won't be partying this season. A sober Mike is having one last giant meal with his family after returning from rehab for prescription pills. He claims to be the healthiest he's ever been, and I am happy to see Paula by his side. I think she's good for him. He says they're not quite dating, but they are close. What does that even mean? Meanwhile, a pregnant Snooki is excited to see the old gang, and wouldn't miss out on the experience just because for something as minor as expecting a baby. She's done a total 180 (is that what it's called?) and there won't be any meatball antics with her.
JWoww and Roger are now living together after her quick stint as roommates with Snooki for their spin-off. He isn't thrilled at the prospect of her heading back to the shore to party, but Jenni insists the couple is in a better place than last season. She's just waiting on that much anticipated engagement ring!
Knowing he wasn't really winning any popularity contests last season the Situation has decided he is going to prepare an elaborate Sunday dinner for when his roommates arrive. Snooki calls JWoww, and we learn that she hasn't spoken to Mike since last summer when he accused her (multiple times) of cheating on Jionni with him. She doesn't want any drama. Roger laughs…as if no drama was ever an option with this bunch!
I know I can be overly snarky, and I realize that sometimes my sarcasm is too much. However, I am being dead serious when I say that someone needs to intervene with poor Leah Shirley. The precious toddler has been the rope that Teen Mom'sAmber Portwood and Gary Shirley use to play their crazy game of tug-of-war, and it's so depressing. I don't doubt they both love their daughter with everything they have, but seriously, this is just too much.
The newest news from this pair stems from a "behind bars" interview that Amber gave to Dr. Drew Pinsky as she serves time for parole violations in an Indiana penitentiary. I mean, is this man even a real doctor? I saw a few episodes of "Loveline" back in the day, but should someone who used to pal around with Adam Corolla really be giving advice to incarcerated teenage mothers? What genius at MTV thought this was a good idea? These sad people aren't characters or cash cows, but yet…Sorry. I will step down from my soapbox now.