"Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world, she took a town car to crash the White House correspondents dinner…Just a city boy, born and raised in Oklahoma (I googled it!), he stole a faux cheerleader from a swindling wine maker." I know the guys from Journey are devastated that they didn't enlist me to help them write their songs.
Sometimes I miss seeing Michaele Salahi and her gnome ex-husband Tareq in the tabloids. They provided so much entertainment during their stint on Real Housewives of D.C. There was that minor national security issue, coupled with Michaele claiming (among other things) that she was a former NFL cheerleader and suffered from M.S. The quintessential cherry on top, however, was when Michaele ran off with Journey member Neal Schon right under her husband's nose, leading him to think she'd been kidnapped. You just cannot make up this stuff!
I don't think any marriage counselor ever would advise you to go on a reality show if you and your spouse were having issues…especially not on one of the housewives franchises. The Bravo freight train is riddled with divorce. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that of all the cities, Real Housewives of New Jersey is the only series that hasn't had a resulting divorce…and we all saw how well those ladies' marriages looked last night, right?
No one ever likes to admit when they're wrong. It's humbling and very embarrassing…even more so when you're eating crow about the Bachelor franchise. Until I fell for quirky One F Jef Holm on the Bachelorette finale, I was a tried and true Arie Luyendyk Jr. fan. In fact, I loved that Emily Maynard chose Jef because that meant that Arie was still on the market. In addition to reality television, I am also somewhat of a racing fanatic. Weird, I know. Since Carl Edwards is married, I hung all of my hopes on Arie.
Alas, those hopes have been dashed…along with my once Pollyanna-esque views that Arie was a happy-go-lucky, love struck dude who enjoyed awkwardly intense make-out sessions. It turns out my friend (a Sean Lowe fan, go figure) tried to warn me that Arie was just another player, and it seems she was right. Why else would he be caught sucking face with fame harlot Courtney Robertson less than a week after she was able to shake former fiance Ben Flajnik? At least she upgraded in the hair department!
This is a big deal for me, but I'm going for it. I dare you, and I mean I DARE YOU, to have something negative to say about my one true love Honey Boo Boo and her family. Time and again, I've tried to spout off about how amazing this crew is, yet I don't feel like I've gotten all of y'all on board. Are they sometimes disgusting? Yes. Do they have a weird obsession with cheese balls? Of course. However, beyond those minor faults, this family is extraordinary. Not only do they want to maintain status quo, they want to make sure they are giving back to their community. Ever heard that from a housewife?
Alana Thompson was thrust into the public eye thanks to Toddlers and Tiaras. When her family was catapulted into the limelight with TLC's Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, many people had not so nice things to say about Mama June and company and their love of dumpster diving, sketti, and being together. Such a crime. I'm getting up on my soap box to say that I think we could all learn an important lesson from Honey Boo Boo's family. Charity is their middle name, and I, for one, think it's amazing.
However, this show seems to have run its course. I am not saying I want it to end, and I still love how much these crazy orange kids care for one another, but seriously? Two hours? Something's got to give, MTV. Something has GOT to give.
Last night's episode begins as Snooki is moving into her own apartment right next door. Jenni and Pauly help her pack up her stuff and head over to her cute "granny shack." Jenni is still floored that the girl who hooked up with everyone (and peed on almost everyone), will be responsible for another human life. Rawn comes over as well to check out Snook's new digs.
Mike chats with his sister on the duck phone and reveals he's going to a check-up and may get a shot to block opiates and alcohol. His sister urges him to get the shot, but he doesn't want to be reminded of such a bad place in his life. The Situation feels like his family and friends don't trust him. His sister corrects him…they are just concerned and want the best for him. Mike decides to get the shot.
As we reported the other day, Grayson, the son of Real Housewives of Orange County'sSlade Smiley, underwent brain surgery for a tumor hes been battling for years. Many of our readers were upset that Gretchen Rossi was Facebooking the status of Grayson's surgery. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know how tense things are between Slade and Grayson's mother as he claims he can't afford to pay child support or help with their son's mounting medical bills.
While Gretchen was asking for prayers for Grayson from her fans, many wondered how Grayson's mother would feel about her updating the world on her boyfriend's son. I think she's more interested in her son's well-being and sharing how you can donate to help pay his bills than to worry about Gretchen.
Every time I have to write about LeAnn RimesTwitter battle, I giggle out loud. The entire concept is something so completely foreign to me, and it reminds me of a passage from Dr. Seuss' wonderful book Fox in Socks, "Let's have a little talk about tweetle beetles….What do you know about tweetle beetles? Well…When tweetle beetles fight, it's called a tweetle beetle battle. And when they battle in a puddle, it's a tweetle beetle puddle battle." It's seriously what goes through my head every time. Every. Time.
When LeAnntweetle twitter battles, she does it with fans of her new husband's ex-wife, Real Housewives of Beverly HIlls'Brandi Glanville. Then she sues them. As we all know, LeAnn is suing a teacher who allegedly taped a conversation when the singer called to find out why said teacher was mean to her on Twitter. A great deal of swearing occurred on LeAnn's part. Now the teacher, Kimberly Smiley (any relation to Slade?) is asking for an extension to fight the suit, as she has been unable to raise enough money to hire an attorney.
Oh Basketball Wives and Basketball Wives L.A., what would we do without you? From the ridiculous to the boring to the lunch meet-ups to the over-the-top crazy personalities, you both run the gamut. Here's a little dose of some BBW and BBW LA news to quench your thirst for some daily trash! I kid, I kid…for once news about these ladies (the originals, especially!) is relatively tame!
First up, Evelyn Lozada is a busy little beeotch! Not only has her private marital dramas played out in the public eye, she is working on several projects. I'm guessing she's trying to stay busy to keep her mind off of all her issues with soon-to-be-ex-husband Chad Ochocinco Johnson. We certainly can't blame her for that now, can we?