It's that time again! Here's a quick rundown on all things Kardashian! We couldn't NOT write about them…what if they went away? How would I make a living? I'm kidding, obviously, but they really aren't going anywhere, especially now that Kris Jenner has landed her own talk show. I'm actually really curious to see what it's like.
While promoting said talk show, Kris is going to milk the news of daughter Kim Kardashian's baby…since Kanye West wouldn't let her do it in the tabloids. I honestly think Kris is just trying to detract from the fact that Kim is likely going to give birth to the tiny rapper's child while still married to Kris Humphries. Can you blame her? It's quite a messy little situation, wouldn't you say?
Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to any of the housewives on any of the Bravo franchises. I find that when the women aren't actual "housewives" yet, it even amps up the crazy. Let's test that theory, shall we?
Oh gracious. As if the women of Real Housewives of Atlanta weren't enough drama on their own, Cynthia Bailey's husband Peter Thomas has to give the ladies a run for their money. Seriously, what is up with Peter lately? His already short fuse seems to be getting shorter and shorter these days.
Perhaps Peter should take up exercising and release some endorphins. I'm sure his wife's co-star Phaedra Parks will cut him a deal on her additional upcoming workout videos. Because more are coming. Yes. There will be more. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news!
Okay, here's a total honesty moment: I love blogging about reality stars because it makes me so appreciative of my wonderful family and amazing friends. I'm very thankful that I don't need a make-up line or a self-tanning package to be relevant. The truth is, I'll never be relevant like that, and I'm fine with that. However, there are some stories that make want to curl up in a ball and rock quietly in a corner. This is one of those.
I'll cut right to the chase. It's a what the bleep moment for sure. Real Housewives of Orange County'sGretchen Rossi is now designing for Rolls Royce. Now, I'm not jealous that Gretchen is teaming with the luxury car brand–I'm quite happy with my paid off Acura from another decade–but I'm really disappointed in Rolls Royce. She's getting her own Rolls Royce Edition. What is the world coming to, I implore you, what is the world coming to? Shouldn't those perks be set aside for the George Clooneys and Dame Helen Mirrens of the world? Apocalypse, I am ready for you.
If y'all thought former Real Housewives of New York starJill Zarinwas going anywhere, you'd be wrong. I personally think some network needs to introduce a show that follows Jill as she tries to claw her way back into reality television stardom kicking and screaming. I'd watch. Kidding, I'd just DVR it and watch it on a slow Sunday.
Jill, of course, is all about showing Bravo who is boss. Poor Andy Cohen. She's coming out guns blazing about what it would take to get her back in Bravo's good graces…and it's not much. Bless her heart.
Have any of you been missing Dina Manzo since she bid farewell to Real Housewives of New Jersey? Well, fear not, because she's back…and her name is now Alessandra DiGiacomo. That's right! Dina's an actress now, y'all!
I'm actually really excited about this news. Following in the footsteps of Real Housewives of Atlanta'sNeNe Leakes, Dina has landed a role on an upcoming scripted dramedy. The series, called Tainted Dreams, portrays the drama among soap opera actors behind-the-scenes of their daily stories (was my grandmother the only one who called soap operas her "stories"?). How very Melrose Place of Dina!
On last night's "Betty White's Off Their Rockers" NeNe, as well as some of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ladies, joked around with the veteran funny lady in a show that had seniors pranking the younger generation. Who doesn't adore Betty White? Meanwhile, Kenya took major offense to Phaedra's accusations of being bipolar…and I don't blame her. Mental illness isn't something to throw around all willy-nilly…it's a serious topic, and Kenya has clearly been learning all about it on WebMD so she has the proper ammunition against her co-star in their Booty Battle.
Let's start with something light though, shall we?
Let's revel in how horrid and scripted last night's Dance Moms was, shall we? If I didn't love these precious little talented girls so much, I'd be kicking Abby Lee Miller and her momtourage to the curb…and out of my DVR season pass! I do agree with one thing Abby said in her recent interview–viewers need to be treated to more dancing and less drama (Abby's hateful shenanigans included!).
Abby receives a phone call from a judge at last week's competition in Greensboro. There was an error in scoring, and Maddie and Kendall's Sugar and Spice solo was actually supposed to get second place, not the top prize they were awarded. Abby seems to salivate at the mouth over this news, as it validates her argument that Kendall screwed up her part. We all know what second place is, right? Say it with me, folks…first losers!
Abby goes into pyramid with the smuggest of smug looks on her face. She tells her dancers that she was unimpressed by all of their dancing regardless of how well they place. Abby takes great pleasure in sharing the mathematical error that caused Sugar and Spice to take first place when they were really supposed to be first loser. She goes after Kendall and wonders if she thinks she's as good as Sophia…guess what, she's not. Wait, who is Sophia again? Oh yeah, that little girl that danced once and hasn't been back for two episodes. A dear Chloe consoles her tearful friend who finds herself back at the very bottom of the pyramid. Joining Kendall at the bottom is Maddie. Abby explains that if her duet partner falters, she falls with her. Nia is also on the bottom for an "okay job." Paige and Chloe make up the second tier. Paige moves up for placing in the top five, and Chloe joins her for exceling in the group number. An excited MacKenzie is at the top of the pyramid, and she has earned her spot back in the group number. A very present Brooke is still nowhere to be found in Abby's hierarchy.