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So, let's get this straight, shall we?  Alexis Bellino has allegedly quit Real Housewives of Orange County, but yet she can't stop talking about it.  And neither can her co-stars.  There is so much she said/she said with these original ladies they may start being confused for their New Jersey counterparts.  Totally kidding!  The O.C. is too blonde.

Last season, Heather Dubrow lead the charge against Jesus Barbie in an attempt to find out why she needed to be equal parts fake and pretentious.  As you recall, it didn't go well.  Now Heather is back in media to dispute Alexis' multiple claims in the media that she quit the show instead of not being asked to return.  Does it matter?  Either way I have an Alexis-free season, and while I don't really like any of the women anymore (shocking, I know), she grated on my last nerve.

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Phewwww!  At least I'm not the only one!  After a few weeks of watching Basketball Wives L.A., I had started to worry that I was the only one growing bored of its formulaic lunch meetings and cocktail hours where the entire conversation seemed to be centered around what to make of Jackie Christie.  Should the women befriend her?  Should they keep her at arm's length?  Should they order another cocktail?  Yawn.

Apparently, other people feel my pain.  The show's second season premiered to relatively high ratings, but viewer numbers have been in a decline ever since.  I'd like to say that I'm shocked, but thankfully I recognize that the average viewer is a lot smarter than I am and now refuses to turn in to a show that seems to revolve around one character with all the other women just orbiting around her.

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Smoochie!  You have to love Here Comes Honey Boo Boo!  Actually, I know a lot of you don't, but I'll be honest–I just don't get it.  While there may be an over abundance of cheese balls and neck rust, there is also an over abundance of love.

If you've been following the the lives of Honey Boo Boo, Mama June, Sugar Bear, Chickadee, Chubbs, and Pumpkin, you are not alone.  The family has garnered national attention for doing nothing more than living their own lives by grossing out half the population…and engrossing the other–including comedienne Rosie O'Donnell.

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I believe that the Countess said it best when she sang (rapped?) "Money Can't Buy You Class."  That seems to go double for the children of the women in the Bravo franchise.  Many have had situations that don't necessarily paint them in the best of light.  Again, I think the Countess can attest to that as well!

Well, now I think one of the Real Housewives of Miami offspring may have just taken the cake.  Alexia Echevarria's son Peter Rosello was known on the first season as the kid whose self-confidence she was trying to build by getting him into modeling.  He may be a model, but he certainly wasn't displaying model behavior when he videotaped himself punching a homeless person in his business and then posted the video online.  I just can't make up this stuff!

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Last night was the premiere of the sixth and final season of the Jersey ShoreVinny Guadagnino, Pauly "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Deena Cortese, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, and Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola are all back for one last summer in Seaside Heights.  I had high hopes it was going to be epic.  After last night's two-hour episode, I'm not holding my breath.

First up we check in with the two roommates who won't be partying this season.  A sober Mike is having one last giant meal with his family after returning from rehab for prescription pills.  He claims to be the healthiest he's ever been, and I am happy to see Paula by his side.  I think she's good for him.  He says they're not quite dating, but they are close.  What does that even mean?  Meanwhile, a pregnant Snooki is excited to see the old gang, and wouldn't miss out on the experience just because for something as minor as expecting a baby.  She's done a total 180 (is that what it's called?) and there won't be any meatball antics with her.

JWoww and Roger are now living together after her quick stint as roommates with Snooki for their spin-off.  He isn't thrilled at the prospect of her heading back to the shore to party, but Jenni insists the couple is in a better place than last season.  She's just waiting on that much anticipated engagement ring!

Knowing he wasn't really winning any popularity contests last season the Situation has decided he is going to prepare an elaborate Sunday dinner for when his roommates arrive.  Snooki calls JWoww, and we learn that she hasn't spoken to Mike since last summer when he accused her (multiple times) of cheating on Jionni with him.  She doesn't want any drama.  Roger laughs…as if no drama was ever an option with this bunch!

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I know I can be overly snarky, and I realize that sometimes my sarcasm is too much.  However, I am being dead serious when I say that someone needs to intervene with poor Leah Shirley.  The precious toddler has been the rope that Teen Mom's Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley use to play their crazy game of tug-of-war, and it's so depressing.  I don't doubt they both love their daughter with everything they have, but seriously, this is just too much.

The newest news from this pair stems from a "behind bars" interview that Amber gave to Dr. Drew Pinsky as she serves time for parole violations in an Indiana penitentiary.  I mean, is this man even a real doctor?  I saw a few episodes of "Loveline" back in the day, but should someone who used to pal around with Adam Corolla really be giving advice to incarcerated teenage mothers?  What genius at MTV thought this was a good idea?  These sad people aren't characters or cash cows, but yet…Sorry.  I will step down from my soapbox now. 

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I'll be the first to admit that I finally took a stand on my feelings for Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice after watching that horrid first installment of the reunion.  Now I may be eating my words…just a bit.  A very little bit.  I still don't feel sorry for her, and I think I may keel over if I ever hear her utter the words "I was wrong" or "I lied."  However, now I don't feel badly for any of them.  They are all a bunch of fame whores as evidenced by the new Us Weekly cover story.  You have to love that they're all wearing red.  I guess they got Tre's devil memo!

You have to love the hypocrisy that comes with being a New Jersey housewife.  One minute Jacqueline Laurita, Caroline Manzo, Melissa Gorga, and Kathy Wakile are calling out Teresa for hawking her story on magazine cover after magazine cover (after magazine cover!), the next minute they are gracing the pages of Us Weekly (high brow…no In Touch for these gals!) and bashing their former friend.  Eye roll.

In a five page spread, the women spill all the details of their fallout with Tre.  Now, I don't doubt for one second that Teresa is a textbook narcissist, but how is moaning about her in a national publication going to change that?  Are these ladies actually expecting her to have some sort of epiphany and change her ways?  Doesn't anyone know how to take the high road anymore?  Geez.  Build a bridge, people!

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Um, we've got a Situation here.  Man, typing that never gets old!  Just in time for tonight's two hour Jersey Shore season premiere, news is breaking all over the place that Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino has fallen off the wagon.  Sitch entertained us with his abs in earlier season, but as the guidettes and juiceheads gained international notoriety, he seemed to have difficulty handling the fame.  In recent seasons, it was obvious that he didn't just love the booze. 

I don't think anyone was shocked when Mike entered rehab for prescription pill addiction.  It's going to be an interesting final season with the two biggest partiers out of commission due to Snooki's pregnancy and Mike's sobriety, although I am thrilled for both of them.  However, now that Lorenzo has arrived and the show has seen it's last fist pump, will the Situation be able to maintain?

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